TIME viral

Watch What Happens When a DJ Trolls His Entire Audience

Pure evil or pure genius?

One of the biggest thrills of being a DJ is filling the dance floor and whipping the crowd into a frenzy. There’s nothing like being up on stage and letting loose with a wall of music and watching the crowd go wild. Just ask Zac Efron or Damon Albarn for further proof that there is nothing more exciting than when the music you are playing packs an entire room with people waving their arms in the air, jumping up and down, eagerly anticipating the big crescendo

Apparently there is one greater pleasure for a DJ, though: trolling the entire audience with Spandau Ballet’s “True” just for your own amusement.

TIME viral

This Falling Shovel Sounds Exactly Like a Chord From ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’

Music is everywhere, apparently

Author David Levithan once said, “Music is everywhere. It’s in the air between us, waiting to be sung.” A bemusing video making the rounds of the internet shows that music is also, apparently, in the shovels we drop on concrete driveways.

In the clip posted above, the memorable opening guitar riff to Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is recreated perfectly by the combination of gravity and a falling shovel. While even the most attentive music fan may not be able to immediately place the falling shovel’s song, a helpful viewer captured the musical moment on camera and spliced it into the music video for Nirvana’s tune. The results are surprising and somewhat uncanny.

While the shovel probably won’t be going on tour any time soon, one can only hope that this video will inspire a long line of copycats featuring people throwing rakes, hoes, brooms and even power tools in the hopes of recreating say, a Slipknot or Kanye song.

TIME Television

The Bachelorette Recap: Kissing and Confessions in Ireland

Suitors get competitive and angry

Welcome back to The Bachelorette. When we last saw Kaitlyn she was on her path to love, which included running away from Chris the Dentist, who was crying on the Cliffs of Moher, like the brokenhearted hero in an Irish folk tale. Kaitlyn has bigger issues to deal with, like the fact that since she “was intimate” with Nick, the producers decided she needed to confess her carnality to the other men and then go ahead and be “intimate” with the rest of the men to level the playing field, so to speak. With the Fantasy Suites looming and family visits after that, she has a lot of things to think about besides Chris the Dentist’s fate. Don’t worry, Kaitlyn, he’s undoubtedly been taken in by a kindly leprechaun who gave him a new identity in exchange for dental care.

Here’s what happened this week on The Bachelorette:

Bachelorette Milestone: “Things are getting so serious now, it’s scary,” said Kaitlyn.

First Date: Kaitlyn invited Ben H. for a ride in her dinghy, which is not a euphemism, but could be. As they row to a private island, Kaitlyn is not in a good mood, but she wants Ben H., who is now the only Ben on the show, yet still merits the moniker, to see her when she is not in a good mood, which may be the most realistic thing to ever happen on The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, Ben H. cheered Kaitlyn right up so much so that she told him, “You’re husband material” — and isn’t that what got her in the Shawn situation in the first place? Dial down the enthusiasm, Kaitlyn! But no, instead she insists she is “feeling all the feelings [she] should be feeling when [she’s] falling in love.” Later they drink some Guinness, and Ben H. admits that he thought he was “unlovable” after his last relationship, but Kaitlyn swears she is possibly maybe falling in love with him. Ben H. thinks Kaitlyn makes him a better person. When she asks him about the overnight dates, and he says they don’t have to be physical, Kaitlyn asks him if he’s a virgin. No, really. He assures her that he is not, and she cracks up laughing. Good joke.

Group Date: Kaitlyn took Joe, Shawn and Nick out for a three-on-one date, which is also not a euphemism. Kaitlyn decides that now is a great time to tell Shawn that she slept with Nick. But right before she ruins his millennium, Nick interrupts them for his one-on-one time with Kaitlyn. Shawn grumbles, but he has no idea that Nick just saved him from a very uncomfortable conversation. Why does Kaitlyn need to tell Shawn again? Anyway, Nick sits down and tells Kaitlyn that he liked her before he came on the show and she’s “not just the Bachelorette to him,” which is either actually pretty sweet or we’ve all been watching this show too long. Then Kaitlyn has to talk to Joe, and she is clearly trying to dump him from the get-go, but she kisses him awhile and lets him declare his love for her first. She admits that she is just not that into him. Or his hair. Or his personality. She realized that they “are not on the same page,” which is a euphemism. He says, “It’s cool.” And when she asks why he’s upset with him, he says, “Why would I be? No worries, man.” (Which is worse, the question or the answer?) When she goes to hug him good-bye, he refuses and storms off into the shrubbery. And then there were two, but Kaitlyn doesn’t feel like giving either Nick or Shawn the rose. She tells Nick they had a great conversation, and she’ll see him at the Rose Ceremony, but she needs a little more time with Shawn and will see him later tonight. He can’t help but gloat.

Do-Over Date: While Nick sulks at the hotel, Kaitlyn goes for a second outing with Shawn. He’s ready to canoodle, but she has something on her mind. When she struggles to blurt out that she slept with Nick, he assures her she can tell him anything. She stumbles through the confession and admits that they had sex, but thinks “it went too far.” Shawn looks uncomfortable. She stares at him. He asks her if she regrets it, and she admits she felt guilty. He admits that he has no idea why she is telling him. (No one knows why she is telling you, Shawn!) Shawn takes a moment to himself and heads straight to the men’s room, where he offers up this gem: “I’m so tense I can’t even piss.” He eventually decides to thank her for the honesty. He has decided to “man up” and “just deal with it.” He tells Kaitlyn he won’t storm out because, “I want you,” which is actually kind of creepy.

The Rose Ceremony (Finally!): Even Kaitlyn is shocked to find herself facing just four remaining suitors. It’s like the dwindling party, but with more kissing. She tells the men that she is confident that she “made the right decisions,” but that doesn’t mean the journey to find love hasn’t been “extremely painful.” She boldly offers the first rose to Shawn. Not so fast: he wants to talk to her first. Hopefully she wants to talk to him about his hair. He wants to know one thing: why Nick? She replies by saying, “Telling you you were the one was a mistake.” (Don’t worry, one of the producers handed him some ointment for that sick burn.) She told him to back off and let her make her own choices and that she doesn’t think he trusts her, and that’s a problem. They go back to the Rose Ceremony, and he accepts the rose. He interviews that he is going to try and get past this.

The Rose Ceremony (Again!): Kaitlyn comes back and asks Ben H. if he wants a rose. He accepts and the lack of drama is both refreshing and somewhat confusing. Chris Harrison points out that it’s down to the final rose of the evening. As the camera pans between Jared and Nick, Shawn’s disembodied voice intones that if she gives “the other guy” a rose, they will be heading to the overnight dates, and he doesn’t know if he can handle it. Nick gets the rose, of course. Shawn looks hurt, perhaps even more hurt than Jared, who is the one heading home. Jared takes his leave with dignity and class. He offers her his coat when she looks cold, tells her that she will always have a place in his heart and that he hopes she finds the man of her dreams because she deserves it. As he leaves, she instantly regrets all of her decision, which is probably exactly what he wanted. Sneaky, Jared, very sneaky.

First Overnight Date: Nick and Kaitlyn spend some alone time in Dublin and they seem to have an easy, natural chemistry, which seems surprising after so much drama, tension and stress. They hit a pub, swap stories and start chatting up the locals. (“Irish is still English!” Kaitlyn swears.) They are having a great time, but Shawn, who has still not figured out the point of this show, is still miserable. Meanwhile, Nick is ready to “connect with [Kaitlyn] on every possible level,” which includes the level of getting down in the dirt and throwing shade on Shawn, who apparently is “eskimo brothers” with “a famous country singer.” Obviously it kills the mood. Until the Fantasy Suite card comes out and Nick tells Kaitlyn that he wants to have her be the first thing he sees in the morning. Kaitlyn pranks him by taking him to a jail cell filled with candles. He shrugs, cause he’ll go anywhere with her. They head to the real product-placed resort and wake up next to each other for a shirtless breakfast.

The Drama: Shawn couldn’t handle the truth. So he decides to dial-a-fight with Nick. (Fun fact: when Shawn calls to ask for his room, it’s the first time he ever says Nick’s name.) They meet on neutral turf for Shawn to get some stuff off his chest. Shawn accuses him of not being there for the right reasons, which is Bachelorette-ese for fighting words.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Kaitlyn can “feel the hate” between Nick and Shawn. Will they box or sumo wrestle for her affection? Tune in next week to find out if either turns to the Dark Side of the Force.

Britt and Brody Update, Part XVII: They are trying a long distance relationship! It will really be a test of their relationship

TIME viral

Watch Philadelphia’s Mayor Cover ‘Rapper’s Delight’ with The Roots

Mic drop.

There’s one thing every politician should know if they want to succeed in the rough-and-tumble world of Philadelphia politics — all the words to “Rapper’s Delight.” That’s the takeaway from a new video where Philly mayor Michael Nutter jumped on stage with local boys-turned-The Tonight Show house band The Roots to perform the Sugarhill Gang’s classic rap song.

The mayor didn’t miss a beat as he spit out the rhymes on stage at the 4th of July celebration at the Wawa Welcome America! festival. He walked the stage like a pro, throwing down verses, and even dropped the mic at the end after nailing the performance. There’s no doubt that the mayor’s performance was way better than the time then-NBC anchor Brian Williams “rapped” the Sugarhill Gang’s classic. As Uproxx points out, there’s a reason that Nutter is so good at this: before he started a career in business and politics, he worked in the city’s nightclubs and had performed the song before.

TIME Music

Watch Damon Albarn Get Carried Off Stage After Refusing to Stop the Music

In 2014, TIME dubbed Damon Albarn “The Hardest Working Man in Rock.” The Blur frontman lived up to that title on Sunday when he played a whopping five-hour set at the Roskilde festival in Denmark and only stopped because he was carried off the stage.

Albarn headlined the music festival as part of his Africa Express project, a critically acclaimed collaboration between African and Western musicians. During his set, he was joined on stage by Nigerian artist Seye Adelekan, Malian band Songhoy Blues and Western artists like Laura Mvula and Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Nick Zinner. Albarn was having so much fun playing that he kept going and going until 4 a.m. when the plug was finally pulled.

After playing The Clash’s “Should I Stay Or Should I Go,” Albarn encouraged the crowd to protest the forced end of the set. “You want more, we’re going to give you more,” the singer declared before a man, who The Guardian reported is appropriately known as “Big Dave,” came on stage, put the singer’s jacket over his shoulders and lifted him off stage.

While both the crowd and the musicians wanted the show to go on, Roskilde has cracked down on crowd control after an incident in 2000, when nine people died and 26 were injured during a Pearl Jam performance.

Luckily for the fans and the artists, just because the show was over didn’t mean the music had to stop. According to The Guardian, Albarn and the rest of the collective continued to make music backstage, as did the crowd, who drummed “on the poles of the tent” and kept chanting for an almost an hour.

TIME Television

Watch a Supercut of Jon Stewart Singing on The Daily Show

Stewart will soon have plenty of time to explore his passion for singing

As Jon Stewart slowly winds down his time on The Daily Show, the staff is making sure that he will definitely not be forgotten once he’s gone. How? By flooding the web with supercuts of some of Stewart’s finest hosting moments, including the latest installment: a compilation of Stewart trying his best to sing, which happened way more often than you might think.

The clip was introduced by Jon Hamm (a.k.a. the only other Jon on T.V. who spells his name correctly), who, as a long-time fan of the show, realized that no one had yet paid tribute to Stewart’s wonderful singing voice. “It’s like Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand and Luciano Pavarotti had a threesome and gave birth to a perfect set of vocal chords — yours,” he said. Stewart understandably blushed at the compliment before sitting back and watching the latest entry in his permanent Internet record.

TIME Television

The Bachelorette Watch: Getting Really Real In Ireland

KAITLYN BRISTOWE, JARED
Clodagh Kilcoyne—ABC The Bachelorette Episode 1106 — Six suitors are at first eerily unnerved and then, amused, when they attend a traditional "fake" Irish wake — for Kaitlyn — and must "eulogize" her

Things get shaken up

Welcome back to The Bachelorette where Kaitlyn has consummated her relationship with Nick and apparently told Shawn that he was The One and is now doubting all of her choices on her Path to Love. So much drama, so little time. Moving forward, this show should definitely be four hours long.

Here’s what happened this week on The Bachelorette:

The Shawn Situation: Shawn sits in Kaitlyn’s room demanding to know if she is in love with him. She dithered and then said she was falling in love with him. He can’t handle the fact they had a great date and then she went on a date with someone else, which is, you know, the entire premise of the show. Later, Kaitlyn cries and cries to the camera. She feels awful. Not because she feels guilty about “being intimate” with Nick, it’s that her feelings for Shawn are overwhelming and she doesn’t want to hurt him. And she knows that she already has, he just doesn’t know it yet. It makes sense. Dating a baker’s dozen of guys is definitely hard, especially if you’re throwing sex into the mix with one of them, but presumably not all. Shawn claims that off camera Kaitlyn told him that he was the one, so she is now his girlfriend, the end. The show should just end now.

Two-on-One Date: Now that she has gone head-to-head with Britt, Kaitlyn probably recognizes the true horror of the dreaded two-on-one date as she has stared right into its nightmarish maw. Still she makes J.J. and Joe take part in their torture. As they explore some Irish island, Joe says he wants to focus on the relationship he has with Kaitlyn and express how he feels about her, while J.J. “needs” to tell Kaitlyn about the biggest regret of his entire life. Um, no, you probably don’t. During his Kaitlyn time, Joe swears he’s never felt this passionate before, but he says it like he had his entire face Botox’d for the occasion. He tells her he is falling in love with her — once again without registering any emotion in his face-and they make out. Guess she’s into a guy who doesn’t mind a little cosmetic upkeep. J.J. uses his alone time to tell Kaitlyn that he cheated on his now ex-wife. He swears it was a learning experience. Kaitlyn applauds his honesty and then bids him farewell. He wipes his nose on his hand and pats her on the leg. He claims he feels blind sided by her decision. Meanwhile, Kaitlyn makes Joe earn his date rose. They make out while Shawn’s disembodied voice talks about his feeeeeeeeelings.

The Shawn Situation, Part II: When Joe comes back from his date saying he is falling in love with Kaitlyn, Shawn storms out of the room. He needs to talk to Kaitlyn. When the producers tell her that Shawn is on his way up, she flips out, convinced that he knows she slept with Nick and is going to have it out with her. She does not want to talk, but opens the door anyway (the producers probably make her stop hiding in the bathroom). She’s convinced she’s about to get an earful, but he just wants to talk about himself and his feelings and barely seems to notice that she’s crying. As he winges, she points out that they are on a reality show and if they are going to be together, they have to see it through to the end. Kaitlyn is unimpressed with his whining and realizes that she screwed up by reassuring Shawn about his place in her heart. She also knows it went too far with Nick, because she has other relationships to think about.

The Cocktail Party: She tells the guys that she has made some mistakes and had a rough week, but swears her heart is still open. The men do not look reassured while she chugs her wine and hyperventilates. When she slips away with Ben H., the men sit around trying to figure out what “mistakes” she made. Nick looks like he has a stolen Penny Black in his pocket (or, you know, is the guy who just slept with seven other guys’ girlfriend) and is trying to look innocent. Nick should rest easy because paranoid Shawn knows (knows!) she was referring to him. Despite the fact that Kaitlyn came to the cocktail party clearly rattled, Ben H. wants to talk about his feelings. Then Nick wants to talk about his feelings, but Kaitlyn wants to remind him not to kiss and tell. He starts to cry (?!) because of all his Big Feels and she has no choice but to make out with him. Then she talks to Shawn about his Big Feels and tells him that they have to dial down their emotions because there is still a lot of dating to get through. Man, Kaitlyn really deserves an Amy Schumer-sized glass of wine right now.

The Rose Ceremony: Chris Harrison finally shows up to chuck Kaitlyn on the chin and say ‘go get ’em tiger’ before sending her to the wolves. Nick, Jared, and Joe all have roses, which means there are only three roses to hand out. Ben H. gets the first rose, The Dentist gets the second rose, and Shawn is clearly sweating bullets down his dorky blue suit. As she holds the final rose of the evening, Kaitlyn looks like she’s going to cry as gives the final rose to Shawn. That means Ben Z and a guy apparently named Tanner who is apparently on this show is going home (apparently). Much like J.J., Ben Z was blind-sided by his dismissal by “cool girl” Kaitlyn.

Road Trip: Kaitlyn packs up her posse into a bus called a “Paddywagon,” but then invites Jared to go for a spin and get lucky in Ireland. They kiss the Blarney Stone, they kiss each other, they make out in her hotel room with cocktails in hand, she teaches him to drive stick shift, which is not a euphemism. Everything seems great. …Then Chris Harrison knocks on Kaitlyn’s door and tells her they are shaking things up. To even the playing field, the show is giving all the men “off camera time,” which is what they call it in the biz, apparently. However, she will need to cut her six remaining suitors to three, today. She will then have overnight dates with those three men and then meet their families after she’s spent a night in the Fantasy Suites. He also encourages her to make amends for her indiscretion or something gross. Chris leaves her alone to think about hanging out with the families of her suitors, post-Fantasy Suite. Should make excellent fodder for dinner table conversation!

Bachelorette Milestone: Kaitlyn invites The Dentist for a helicopter ride. They fly over the Cliffs of Moher, which are truly stunning, and as they pause for a picnic, Kaitlyn reminds us all that there is no rose on this date, because she is here to find herself a husband. She seems stressed and anxious and starts crying and it seems clear that she’s having the least fun of any Bachelorette ever. She cries and finally admits that she’s just not that into him. He would like more details for his logic board to process. She tells him again and he processes the information. He tells her that he really wishes she could be his wife, but hugs her goodbye and goes to cry over the Cliffs of Moher talking to himself in the third person, as he waits for the producers to call him for his audition to be The Bachelor (or the faerie folk to carry him off to care for their teeth).

Best Reason To Come Back Next Week: The Final Three are chosen (maybe).

TIME Television

Watch John Oliver Urge People to Continue to Fight for Transgender Rights

Laverne Cox's wax replica in Madame Tussaud's is just the beginning.

Equal rights made great strides this week, but on Last Week Tonight, John Oliver urged people to continue to work towards better treatment of transgender individuals, both in the media and under the law.

Some of the biggest names in news media have fumbled over the issue of how to talk to transgender men and women, so Oliver made it abundantly clear: “It’s no more okay to ask transgender people about their sex organs than it would be to ask Jimmy Carter whether or not he’s circumcised.”

Oliver then laid out a road map for differentiating between gender identity, sexual orientation, and the choices that transgender individuals make about whether to use hormones, undergo surgery, etc. In short, according to Oliver: “Their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, none of your f–king business.” As for pronouns and names, Oliver believes people should simply be called whatever they prefer to be called, like U2’s guitarist “The Edge” or Puff Daddy.

Oliver also pointed out that despite the increasing visibility of the close to 700,000 transgender people in the U.S. — which Oliver notes is larger than the population of Boston — they still face rampant discrimination and have alarmingly high suicide rates. According to Oliver, while it’s great that Orange is the New Black star Laverne Cox got a wax replica in Madame Tussaud’s, there is still a lot of work to do to protect the rights of transgender people.

TIME Television

Watch Jon Hamm Throw Gummy Bears at Jimmy Kimmel

Plus, Lizzy Caplan proved she's better than Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and since Hamm wasn’t promoting any particular project, the two friends just chatted. Kimmel did have one burning question for the Mad Men star: why was he on stage at the Bonnaroo music festival throwing gummy bears (“As you do,” said Hamm) into the mouth of Belle and Sebastian’s lead singer Stuart Murdoch? “I don’t know why that’s weird,” shrugged Hamm.

Turns out it was a gag he and Zach Galifianakis had been practicing on the set of their new comedy, Keeping Up With the Joneses. Hamm was bored one day (the movie is being filmed in the suburbs of Atlanta), so he just started chucking gummy bears into Galfianakis’ mouth. When they hit the music festival, they decided to show off their technique to the crowds. Hamm then demonstrated his skills by throwing them into Kimmel’s open mouth.

That wasn’t the last appearance of the gummy bears, though. When Masters of Sex star Lizzy Caplan showed up for her interview, she partook and then started casting aspersions on Hamm for his dry gummy bears. Naturally Hamm had to rush in and crash the interview to defend his honor.

TIME Television

The Bachelorette Recap: Oh My God, They Killed Kaitlyn

She died of shame after one relationship went too far

Welcome back to The Bachelorette. When we last saw Kaitlyn, she and Ian were getting ready for a showdown in San Antonio. Will he leave in a huff? Or maybe in a minute and a huff? Will he mention the fact that he went to Princeton? So many reasons to watch the show from the edge of your seat.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

The Ian Issue: When we last saw Ian, he was telling Kaitlyn that he is not a fan of the fart jokes floating around the house (as if it’s just “jokes” floating around the shared air of the house). Ian expected Kaitlyn to be a brokenhearted damsel still reeling from getting dumped by Chris so he could comfort her. Instead, he gets a girl who likes to laugh and kiss. Kaitlyn is “super offended” by him calling her shallow, surface level and just there to make out. Ian is super offended that she doesn’t recognize his intellect frequently and often (guessing!), so by mutual agreement, Ian leaves. “I’m not lame like the other guys,” he says as he rolls away in the limo, “I’m being punished for being an intellectual.” Don’t worry, he mentioned the fact that he went to Princeton. Maybe they’ll put him on the cover of the alumni magazine.

The Cocktail Party, Continued: In Ian’s Ivy League wake, Nick goes to comfort Kaitlyn. They canoodle on the couch and as the clock ticks, and Nick stays with Kaitlyn, the rest of the men get more and more ticked off. Finally Shawn goes to fight for his face time with his woman, but finds her sucking face with Nick, which turns his stomach (same here, Shawn, same here). While Shawn and Jared make barfy noises, Kaitlyn shrugs. She tells the camera that she thinks intimacy is an important part of a relationship, and if the physical part of the relationship isn’t there, that’s a deal breaker for her. So she’s a make-out bandit, and she just doesn’t care whatever anyone else says about it.

The Rose Ceremony: Chris Harrison finally shows up to talk with Kaitlyn, so she’s not stuck seeking advice from Ashley S. He soon sends her into the Alamo, where they are holding the Rose Ceremony, because the Alamo is a great metaphor for marriage or something. Ben H., Shawn and Nick all have roses already. Kaitlyn gives the first rose to Jared, followed by the Dentist, J.J. (really?), Joe (who looks like the extra roommate on The New Girl), Ben Z., and then she hands the final rose to Tanner. That means the Alamo was the last stand for some guy who looks like he spent too much time studying Steph from Pretty in Pink and for Joe, who not only got sent home, but got sent home with the world’s worst haircut.

On the Road Again: After surviving the Alamo, the roving mating ritual heads to Dublin. Kaitlyn thinks Dublin is a great place to fall in love.

First One-on-One Date: There are four men who have not had a one-on-one date yet, and Kaitlyn chooses to take Nick on the first date. It is the least politically savvy move she could make, and she does it with gusto. Shawn tries to kill Nick with his eyes, but sadly it doesn’t work. Instead Nick and Kaitlyn spend the day wandering the city’s parks, ogling Irish wedding bands, and making out against every wall in Ireland. This would be a good time for ABC to apologize to Ireland for all the cooties. Kaitlyn and Nick make out all through dinner. They whisper, they canoodle, they giggle, they kiss and then Kaitlyn invites him back to her hotel room “to hang out” (which is apparently what the kids are calling it these days). She interviews that when she’s with Nick, she forgets about the cameras and her eight other boyfriends. To prove this point, the producers cut back and forth between Nick and Kaitlyn kissing in her hotel room and Shawn and Jared talking about their feelings for Kaitlyn and their dislike of Nick. Cut to the bedroom door closing on Kaitlyn and Nick, cue the make-out noises. Cut to Shawn saying, “You just got to trust Kaitlyn.”

The Morning After: As the sun rises, Nick heads back to his room. Kaitlyn watches the sun rise over the balcony. She interviews that the “off-camera time with Nick” was unexpected but nice and she doesn’t want it to be an issue. She feels guilty, though, and then asks the off-camera producer, “Has this ever been an issue before?” She wonders, “if Chris and Britt did have sex, what would I have done?” Good question. She interviews that she “doesn’t feel guilty about the act” but about the other relationships. Nick comes in smiling like the cat that just ate the canary and none of the other cats know. Kaitlyn worries that Nick will spill the beans and ruin her other relationships. He talks about his date, mentioning that they went back to her suite, but swears it was just for chatting. Then he throws out the words “intimate” and “personal,” but doesn’t kiss and tell, yet. He’ll save it for the after the Final Rose Ceremony. Kaitlyn starts to regret her choice.

The Weirdest Group Date in Bachelorette History: Tanner, Shawn, the Dentist, Jared and Bens H. and Z. are met by Chris Harrison, who regrets to inform them that Kaitlyn has died. (From guilt, regret, and embarrassment, presumably.) They are tasked with eulogizing her with a traditional Irish wake, complete with poems, songs, Guinness and flowers, which Kaitlyn appreciates from inside a coffin. No, really, she spent the entire date in a coffin, which is the perfect place to repent for her sins. She feels slightly bad about making Ben Z. memorialize her, because his mom just died, and he may not see the humor in the situation, but she makes him do it anyway. Then she makes out with him from the coffin.

The After Party: To celebrate Kaitlyn’s miraculous return from the dead, the gang heads to the Guinness Brewery. She spends some quality time with each of the men (and some Guinness). She and Jared stare at the city, Shawn shows her photos of her family, Ben Z. stares at her with schmoopy eyes. Jared gets the Date Rose throwing Shawn into an existential shame spiral that winds up in a pit of despair of his own making. He does not seem to understand that his girlfriend is dating eight other men.

Bachelorette Milestone: Private concert time. Would any trip to Ireland be complete without an appearance by the Cranberries? Kaitlyn and Jared walk to a church and the Cranberries are there and play “Linger,” even though “Zombie” would be more appropriate, what with Kaitlyn coming back from the dead and all. Best lie of the night: Jared saying the Cranberries were his “favorite band.” That’s just hurting Dave Matthews’ feelings, Jared.

The Cliffhanger: Shawn goes to talk to a producer, because he can’t handle the competition. Kaitlyn told him that he was “The One” and now she’s on a date with Jared. He knows that the Fantasy Suites are coming up and he can’t handle that, saying he’s “about to cry.” He thinks Kaitlyn is “ruining everything” that they have and is “going to ruin it all.” He goes to Kaitlyn’s room to talk, when he really should go talk to a therapist about his anger, jealousy and insecurity issues. When he shows up at her door, Kaitlyn thinks that he knows about Nick. As they settle on the couch to talk (not a euphemism), the producers cut to her in an interview, crying about “a mistake” swearing that she never wanted to hurt anybody.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Man tears. Woman tears. Slut shaming. Chris Harrison looking serious. It’s all happening next week on The Bachelorette.

The Brady and Britt Saga Continues: Britt brings Brady to meet her mom. They’ve been dating for two months.

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