--- title: Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone description: Robin Dreeke is head of the FBI’s Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. In his book It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building... canonical: https://time.com/98473/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building-rapport-with-anyone/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-14T04:01:10.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:54:05.841Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone og:description: Robin Dreeke is head of the FBI’s Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. In his book It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building... og:url: https://time.com/98473/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building-rapport-with-anyone/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt346953a4ea0ba4b0/69868f3dadae4401fc543118/fbi_building.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1800 og:image:height: 1013 og:image:alt: The FBI building is seen in Miami. og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone twitter:description: Robin Dreeke is head of the FBI’s Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. In his book It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building... twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt346953a4ea0ba4b0/69868f3dadae4401fc543118/fbi_building.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Inside TIME: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Inside TIME is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories. Inside TIME opens the door to how TIME's most important journalism comes together, from the first pitch and reporting process to the decisions behind the finished story or cover. 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Joe Raedle—Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 14, 2014 4:01 AM UTC Robin Dreeke is head of the FBI’s Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. In his book [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20) he simply and clearly spells out methods for connecting with people. Here’s a quick breakdown of the methods. ## 1) Establish artificial time constraints Nobody wants to feel trapped in an awkward conversation with a stranger. Robin often begins a conversation with something along the lines of **“I’m on my way out but before I left I wanted to ask you…”** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 2) Make Sure Your Body Language is In Sync **Make sure your words and body language are aligned and both are non-threatening.** A simple smile is the most powerful nonverbal technique, as [Dale Carnegie](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/truth-dale-carnegies-how-win-friends-influence-people/) let us know. Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 3) Speak Slowly Quick speech can sound nervous and jumpy, not confident. Crazy people speak quickly; self-assured people speak slowly. Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 4) Ask For Help **When a request is small, we naturally feel a connection to those who ask us for help.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 5) Suspend Your Ego Avoid correcting people or anything that could be interpreted as one-upmanship. **Just listen. You don’t** **_need_** **to tell your story; just encourage them to keep telling theirs.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 6) Validate Others **The simplest way to do this is to listen.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 7) Ask: How? When? Why? **Ask open-ended questions.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): Dreeke also recommends using a number of standard FBI active listening techniques you can read about [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/). ## 8) Quid Pro Quo Some people don’t speak much. Other times you listen too well and people feel self-conscious about talking so much. **In these two cases it’s good to give a piece of personal information for every one they reveal to get a flow going.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 9) Give A Gift [**Reciprocation is deeply wired into human nature**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/)**. When you offer people something, they will naturally feel the need to help you in return.** Doesn’t have to be a big box with a bow on it. Offering someone anything, tangible or not, counts. Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 10) Managing Your Own Expectations If you don’t manage your expectations properly it can lead to disappointment, resentment and anger. **Play it cool. Focus on the other person’s needs and don’t let your expectations rise.** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): A number of the ten methods are similar to those espoused by other FBI specialists I have interviewed, including former head of international hostage negotiation, [Chris Voss](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/interview-negotiation-secrets-learn-top-fbi-hostage-negotiator/), and FBI profiler [Jim Clemente](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/fbi-profiler/). ## The Right Attitude And what does Robin say is the best attitude to take when trying to build rapport? **_Make sure the other person walks away better for having met you._** Via [It’s Not All About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD). Related posts: [The top FBI hostage negotiator teaches you the art of persuasion](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/interview-negotiation-secrets-learn-top-fbi-hostage-negotiator/) [Persuasion expert Robert Cialdini explains the best ways to influence people](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/) [6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/) _This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/)_._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/98473/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building-rapport-with-anyone/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/98473/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building-rapport-with-anyone/"},"headline":"Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone","datePublished":"2014-05-14T04:01:10.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:54:05.841Z","description":"Robin Dreeke is head of the FBI’s Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. 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