--- title: Women In Relationships Only Notice Negative Traits of Other Men description: A study shows that coupled-off females focus more on a man's negative traits—as long as they're not dating him. canonical: https://time.com/98040/women-relationships-negative-qualities-men/ author: Maya Rhodan article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-14T11:00:44.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:45:28.511Z og:title: Why Women in Relationships Turn a Blind Eye to Attractive Men og:description: A study shows that coupled-off females focus more on a man's negative traits—as long as they're not dating him. og:url: https://time.com/98040/women-relationships-negative-qualities-men/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4c08912183b3cad6/69868f3b06f2c152fd32edc0/182939293.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5200 og:image:height: 2925 og:image:alt: 182939293 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Why Women in Relationships Turn a Blind Eye to Attractive Men twitter:description: A study shows that coupled-off females focus more on a man's negative traits—as long as they're not dating him. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4c08912183b3cad6/69868f3b06f2c152fd32edc0/182939293.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Why Women in Relationships Turn a Blind Eye to Attractive Men > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=915d07b7-fef2-48e8-a33b-193f7cc0f1e6&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: First Grade Valentines [Watch (HLS stream): First Grade Valentines](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/dxn3NutC.m3u8) (2:35)  _Published 2010-02-10. Out of the mouths of babes, love is explained. Brooklyn first graders write and read their valentines and describe the meaning of Valentines Day_ by [Maya Rhodan](https://time.com/author/maya-rhodan/) ## Maya Rhodan May 14, 2014 11:00 AM UTC  Hispanic couple relaxing on sofa Hispanic couple relaxing on sofa Kevin Dodge—Getty Images/Blend Images RM by [Maya Rhodan](https://time.com/author/maya-rhodan/) ## Maya Rhodan May 14, 2014 11:00 AM UTC Men have one less reason to worry about their girlfriend or wife’s wandering eye. [According to new research](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pere.12035/abstract) in the International Association for Relationship Research’s journal _Personal Relationships_, women in relationships focus on the negative qualities of attractive men they aren’t dating. In other words, a woman in a relationship is biased against a man she could potentially be interested in if she were single. This notion is already supported in research about looks — studies have shown men and women in relationships are less likely to pay attention to attractive people they aren’t dating — but now, a group of social scientists has set out to prove the same may be true for heterosexual women’s interactions with attractive men. Researchers conducted three experiments on the participants. In the first two experiments, women were asked to recall behavioral traits of good-looking, potential suitors. Undergraduate women, both in relationships and not, were presented with pictures of men deemed — scientifically, of course — attractive, along with scenarios like whether they were late to appointments (boo!) or bought groceries for grandma (aw!). After the photos were removed, the women were asked to write down which scenarios they recalled. In two out of the three experiments, researchers found that women in relationships were more likely to remember negative behavior exhibited by hotties when compared to their single counterparts. In the third study, women recalled the less-than-ideal traits of attractive men more than they recalled those of people they would not date, which in this case were other women (who were used as a control). This isn’t an all-out win for people in relationships, though. For one, the study isn’t based on actual interactions — women were merely presented with pictures and information about the potential mates, though in one study they were convinced they were chatting with the men. Another obvious limitation of the study: researchers only surveyed heterosexual women. Regardless, the study hints that a woman’s relationship status can make her immune to a man she might otherwise find good-looking. Good news for boyfriends and husbands everywhere. ## Transcript >> People give kisses and it's all wet. >> When like someone kiss you, you [ unk ]. >> Today, we're gonna be talking about Valentine's Day. It's a day where we get to celebrate all the important people in our lives and how much we care about them and love them and all the great things they do for us. You're gonna get to write a special Valentine for that special someone. Valentine's letters. Who are you gonna write to [ unk ]. I'm seeing lots of " I love you's" and " You're special to me ". All really nice things to write to a valentines. >> Told you. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Michael Jackson, I know that you are a pop star. -[ unk ] >> Valentine's Day is a holiday about love. >> Mean you love someone? >> That means when they [ unk ] someone [ unk ]. >> Well, I've done it first. >> Nice, loud, clear voice. >> You keep me safe. You buy me anything I want. I am [ unk ] hug you. -[ unk ] you kiss me [ unk ] you will always love me in the heart. You are my best mother. >> Do I need to [ unk ]. >> Dad, you are special to me. From [ unk ]. >> Happy Valentine's Day! >> Good job everyone. [ unk ] a Valentine? >> Me. >> We all did. >> Better is with a computer. >> Computer. >> Computer. >> I'll send email. >> Paper is not digital. It's just paper. You can just do it on the computer. It doesn't make it sloppy. >> You can love whoever's in your family even your Auntie. 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