Stephen Colbert turns 50 today, so it’s a perfect time to re-watch his hilarious Colbert Report segment in which he composes and sings a new birthday jingle. He cannot sing the copyrighted “Happy Birthday to You” because he is afraid that Warner Music will sue him.
The late-night host’s royalty-free version of the classic tune sounds more like the national anthem, though we’re not sure everyone celebrating a birthday will appreciate someone singing, “You’re getting so old, and you’re shaped like a pear” to his or her face.
MORE: Stephen Colbert to Succeed David Letterman
WATCH: Stephen Colbert Takes a Selfie with David Letterman During a Visit to The Late Show
More Must-Reads From TIME
- The 100 Most Influential People of 2024
- Coco Gauff Is Playing for Herself Now
- Scenes From Pro-Palestinian Encampments Across U.S. Universities
- 6 Compliments That Land Every Time
- If You're Dating Right Now , You're Brave: Column
- The AI That Could Heal a Divided Internet
- Fallout Is a Brilliant Model for the Future of Video Game Adaptations
- Want Weekly Recs on What to Watch, Read, and More? Sign Up for Worth Your Time
Write to Olivia B. Waxman at olivia.waxman@time.com