Stephen Colbert turns 50 today, so it’s a perfect time to re-watch his hilarious Colbert Report segment in which he composes and sings a new birthday jingle. He cannot sing the copyrighted “Happy Birthday to You” because he is afraid that Warner Music will sue him.
The late-night host’s royalty-free version of the classic tune sounds more like the national anthem, though we’re not sure everyone celebrating a birthday will appreciate someone singing, “You’re getting so old, and you’re shaped like a pear” to his or her face.
MORE: Stephen Colbert to Succeed David Letterman
WATCH: Stephen Colbert Takes a Selfie with David Letterman During a Visit to The Late Show
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Write to Olivia B. Waxman at olivia.waxman@time.com