--- title: How To Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks description: So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think. A while back I posted about how to master... canonical: https://time.com/92732/how-to-make-people-like-you-6-science-based-conversation-hacks/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-09T04:01:57.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:54:04.455Z article:section: Ideas og:title: How To Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks og:description: So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think. A while back I posted about how to master... og:url: https://time.com/92732/how-to-make-people-like-you-6-science-based-conversation-hacks/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blte126714ec65ea2b3/69868e7a169ab06241279367/168359851.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5760 og:image:height: 3240 og:image:alt: 168359851 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How To Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks twitter:description: So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think. A while back I posted about how to master... twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blte126714ec65ea2b3/69868e7a169ab06241279367/168359851.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 9, 2014 4:01 AM UTC  Happy mature women with wineglasses and books enjoying house party Happy mature women with wineglasses and books enjoying house party Hero Images—Getty Images/Hero Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 9, 2014 4:01 AM UTC So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think. A while back I posted about [how to master conversation skills](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/conversation-skills/). Here are 6 more research-backed tips: ## 1) Encourage people to talk about themselves It [gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-gives-your-brain-as-much-pleasure-as-foo/): ## 2) To Give Feedback, Ask Questions If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they’re less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through. Via [Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061771295/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061771295&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): Here’s more on [feedback](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/whats-the-best-way-to-give-feedback/). ## 3) Ask for advice **Stanford professor** [**Jeffrey Pfeffer**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-stanford-mba-school-professor-teaches-secret-promotions-raises-power/)**, persuasion expert** [**Robert Cialdini**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/)**and many others have all** [**recommended asking for advice**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/what-two-things-can-help-you-win-over-someone/) **as a powerful way to influence others and warm them to you.** Wharton professor [Adam Grant](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-wharton-business-school-professor-teaches-approach-give/) breaks down the science behind it in his excellent book [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0670026557/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0670026557&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): ## 4) The Two-Question Technique **Ask them about something positive in their life. Only after they reply should you ask them how they’re feeling about life in general.** Sounds silly but this method is based on research by Nobel Prize winning psychologist, Daniel Kahneman. A positive answer on the first question will lead to them feeling more positive about their life in general when you ask the second question. Via [Thinking, Fast and Slow](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0374533555/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0374533555&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): More on this powerful technique [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/feel-fantastic/). ## 5) Repeat The Last Three Words **I’ve posted before about the incredible power of active listening and how** [**hostage negotiators**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/) **use it to build rapport.** What’s the quick and dirty way to do active listening without training? **Social skills expert and author Leil Lowndes recommends simple repetition.** Via [How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/007141858X/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=007141858X&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): It shows you’re listening, interested, and lets them get back to telling their story. You’ve got to be slightly savvy about this one but it’s surprisingly effective. **_Surprisingly effective?_** Yes, it is. **_It is?_** Research shows [repetition is effective in negotiations](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/08/what-are-the-first-words-you-should-say-in-a/) as well. ## 6) Gossip — But Positively Research shows [what you say about others colors how people see _you_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/06/how-does-what-you-say-about-others-reflect-on/). **Compliment other people and you’re likely to be seen positively. Complain and you’re likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate.** Via [59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307474860/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217153&creative=399349&creativeASIN=0307474860): ## Want more? Here are the previous five [conversation hacks](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/conversation-skills/). **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD). Related posts: [What are the four things that kill relationships?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/10/kill-relationships/) [“Nice guys finish last.” Really? What does the research say?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/nice-guys-finish-last/) [The top FBI hostage negotiator teaches you the 5 secrets to getting what you want](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/interview-negotiation-secrets-learn-top-fbi-hostage-negotiator/) _This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/)_._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/92732/how-to-make-people-like-you-6-science-based-conversation-hacks/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/92732/how-to-make-people-like-you-6-science-based-conversation-hacks/"},"headline":"How to Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks","datePublished":"2014-05-09T04:01:57.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:54:04.455Z","description":"So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think. 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