--- title: The White House Correspondents' Dinner's 17 Meanest Jokes description: The comedy this year came with bigger barbs and lower blows canonical: https://time.com/87031/whca-2014-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner/ author: Michael Scherer article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-04T13:39:28.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:40:26.576Z article:section: Politics og:title: The White House Correspondents' Dinner's 17 Meanest Jokes og:description: The comedy this year came with bigger barbs and lower blows og:url: https://time.com/87031/whca-2014-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt2dcdc9c1a3aeffa7/69868dbc169ab0fcb127921c/488093221.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1500 og:image:height: 844 og:image:alt: 100th Annual White House Correspondents' Association Dinner og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The White House Correspondents' Dinner's 17 Meanest Jokes twitter:description: The comedy this year came with bigger barbs and lower blows twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt2dcdc9c1a3aeffa7/69868dbc169ab0fcb127921c/488093221.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The 17 Meanest Jokes at the White House Correspondents' Dinner 2014 > Sponsored content. 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It explains the politics, personalities and power dynamics behind the headlines, twice a week. #### Where can I get analysis of Washington politics by email? D.C. Brief is TIME's free Washington politics newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. It is written by a TIME senior correspondent who covers the capital full time. #### Who writes TIME's D.C. Brief? Philip Elliott, a senior correspondent at TIME, writes D.C. Brief. #### Is D.C. Brief free? Yes. D.C. Brief is free at time.com/newsletters. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-dcbrief-2026q3/newsletters?i=d0e3c3ce-51f3-44b6-ae1e-ec402485c72a&cr=time-nl-dcbrief-2026q3-v1) ## Video: The Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents Dinner [Watch (HLS stream): The Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents Dinner](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/IFqCgLfz.m3u8) (3:37)  _Published 2014-05-04. The Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents Dinner_ by [Michael Scherer](https://time.com/author/michael-scherer/) ## Michael Scherer May 4, 2014 1:39 PM UTC  President Obama speaks at the annual White House Correspondent's Association Gala at the Washington Hilton hotel May 3, 2014 in Washington, DC. President Obama speaks at the annual White House Correspondent's Association Gala at the Washington Hilton hotel May 3, 2014 in Washington, DC. Pool—Getty Images by [Michael Scherer](https://time.com/author/michael-scherer/) ## Michael Scherer May 4, 2014 1:39 PM UTC Good comedy almost always hurts a little. The trick, of course, is finding the invisible line between the offensive and the hilarious, the vicious and the surprising. This is why Washington, a town built on calculation and caution, is not very funny. People don’t want to take the chance. The risk is too high, and besides, we are not funny. But there is a regular exception. Once a year, in the ballroom of the Washington Hilton, the President of the United States roasts his enemies and himself, and a name brand comedian from the hinterlands gets a half hour to mock the media, the President and his colleagues before all concerned. Sometimes, the humor is soft (Jay Leno in 2010) and sometimes it is explosive (Stephen Colbert in 2006). On Saturday night, at the 2014 White House Correspondents Association dinner, the jokes tended towards insult comedy, in the best sense. Neither President Barack Obama nor the comedic host Joel McHale pulled their punches. Obama called two Fox News hosts potted plants, McHale repeated Chris Christie fat jokes and one gibe suggested that George Clooney lives in the colon of the Commander-in-Chief. And that was just the beginning. So for those readers who had something better to do last night than watch C-SPAN, and that should be pretty much all of you, here is a quick, roughly ranked guide to the 17 meanest jokes of the night. **17\.** BARACK OBAMA: I want to thank the White House Correspondents Association for hosting us here tonight. I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to get CNN coverage these days. I think they’re still searching for their table. **16\.** JOEL McHALE: Thanks to Obamacare, or as the president refers to it, “me-care,” millions of newly insured young Americans can visit the doctor’s office and see what a print magazine actually looks like. **15\.** OBAMA: MSNBC is here. They’re a little overwhelmed. They’ve never seen an audience this big before. **14\.** McHALE: Legendary actor Robert De Niro is here tonight, everyone. Now, I don’t do a De Niro impression, but I do an impression of Robert De Niro’s agent. Ready? Here it is. “Ring ring – he’ll do it!” **13\.** McHALE: Biz Stone, the founder of Twitter, is here. So if any of you congressmen want to cut out the middleman, just show him your penis. **12\.** OBAMA: Just yesterday, I read a heartbreaking letter — you know I get letters from folks from around the country; every day I get 10 that I read — this one got to me. A Virginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job for years; no respect from his boss; no chance to get ahead. I really wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric. **11\.** OBAMA: And I’m feeling sorry — believe it or not — for the Speaker of the House, as well. These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me, which means orange really is the new black. **10\.** OBAMA: How well does Obamacare have to work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if everybody’s cholesterol drops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers game? Not the old, Donald Sterling Clippers — the new Oprah Clippers. Would that be good enough? What if they gave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take? **9\.** McHALE: Between Rob Ford, Justin Bieber and Ted Cruz, you just want to tell Canada, “Hey, hey, relax – we already have a Florida.” **8\.** McHALE: Every year the White House doctor checks the president’s colon for polyps and George Clooney’ s head. Yeah. **7\.** McHALE: I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC – Chris Hayes, he’s great. **6\.** McHALE: _House of Cards_ has had a huge impact on Washington. What a great show. I haven’t seen a Southern senator give a tour de force performance like that since Lindsey Graham played Blanche DuBois in “A Streetcar Named Desire.” And Lindsey, if you’re here now, you can drop character any time, man. **5\.** McHALE: All right, look, I know it’s been a long night, but I promise that tonight will be both amusing and over quickly, just like Chris Christie’ s presidential bid. I got a lot of these tonight, so buckle up, Governor Christie. Excuse me, extender buckle up. **4\.** OBAMA: Look, everybody is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on _Between Two Ferns_. But that’s what young people like to watch. And to be fair, I am not the first person on television between two potted plants. (Shows slide)  **3\.** McHALE: Hillary’s daughter Chelsea is pregnant which means in nine months we will officially have a sequel to _Bad Grandpa_. It also raises the question, when the baby is born do you give Bill Clinton a cigar? **2\.** McHALE: I also host a show called _The Soup_, which is on the E! network, thank you. To Republicans in attendance, E! is the channel that your deeply closeted gay son likes to watch. Democrats, it’s the same channel that your happy, openly gay son likes to watch. E! is also home to the Kardashians, who believe it or not, are Republicans. And I know that because they are always trying to screw black people. **1\.** McHALE: There’s a lot of celebrities here tonight; they’re the ones that don’t look like ghouls. ### Celebrities Hit the Red Carpet at Correspondents’ Dinner  Actor Tony Goldwyn attends the 100th Annual White House Correspondents' Association Dinner at the Washington Hilton on May 3, 2014 in Washington, DC. Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Darby Stanchfield Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Alicia Quarles Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Willie and Korie Robertson Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Actress Bellamy Young Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson, right, and husband Justin Mikita Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Actress Bellamy Young Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Actress Sofia Vergara Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Arianna Huffington Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  News anchor Diane Sawyer, left, and ABC news reporter Martha Raddatz Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Emilie Livingston and actor Jeff Goldblum Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Actor Patrick Stewart and his wife, Sunny Ozell Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Actress Taylor Schilling Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Katie Couric Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Actress Julie Delpy Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Actress Lupita Nyong'o Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Diane Lane and news anchor Wolf Blitzer Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Journalist Barbara Walters Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Kristen Bell Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Megan McCain and Senator John McCain Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Michelle Branch Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Actress Julianna Margulies Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Designer Cynthia Rowley Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  Jessica Simpson Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images  AnnaSophia Robb and Ronan Farrow Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images ## Transcript It is great to be back. What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners with a few self deprecating jokes. [ LAUGH ] After my stellar 2013, what could I possibly talk about? [ LAUGH ] [ SOUND ]. E is also home to the Kardashians who believe it or not are Republicans and I know that because they are always trying to **** black people. [ LAUGH ]. As a general rule, things don't end well if the sentence starts, let me tell you something I know about the Negro. [ LAUGH ]. You don't really need to hear the rest. [ NOISE ]. It's a genuine thrill to be here in Washington D. C. The city that started the whole crack smoking Mayor craze. [ LAUGH ] Koch brothers bought a table here tonight. But as usual, they used a shadowy right- wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox News. [ LAUGH ]. I am, I am just kidding. Lets face it, Fox, you'll miss me when I am gone. [ LAUGH ]. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya. [ LAUGH ] Hillary Clinton has a lot going for her as a candidate. She has experience, she's a natural leader and as our first female President we could pay her 30 % less. [ LAUGH ]. That's a saving this country could use. Who's with me? [ SOUND ] And I'm feeling sorry, believe it or not, for the Speaker of the House as well. These days, the House of Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is the new black. [ NOISE ]. Now over 8 million people have signed up for Obamacare. Which sounds impressive, until you realize Ashley Tisdale has 12 million Twitter followers. So, [ LAUGH ] it's pretty good. The new conservative darling is non other than Vladimir Putin. Last year Pat Buchanan said, Putin's headed straight for the Nobel Peace Prize. He said this now I know it sounds crazy but to be fair they give those to just about anybody these days. [ LAUGH ]. So it could happen, but it's not just Pat. Rudy Giuliani said Putin is what you call a leader. Mike Huckabee and Sean Hannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kinda weird. [ LAUGH ]. And I tend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. George W Bush took up painting after he left office, which inspired me to take up my own artistic side. I, I'm sure we've got a shot of this, maybe not. The joke doesn't work without the slide. [ LAUGH ] [ SOUND ]. Oh well. Assume that it was funny. 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