Welcome back to Dancing with the Stars, where you can expect bigger hair, higher scores and actual party rocking in the house — because for someone reason someone at ABC decided that LMFAO’s Redfoo deserved a spot at the judges’ table. To mark the momentous occasion of a 2011 pop culture relic and ersatz club hit purveyor making a primetime pit stop, the powers that be at DWTS anointed it “Party Rock Anthem” week. Obviously the festivities kicked off with a group dance to Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA.” Pretty sure there is a law that requires all “Party Rock Anthem” weeks nationwide to play that song at least twice. Thanks, Obama.
Here’s what happened on Dancing with the Stars:
Nene Leakes and Tony Dovolani: The duo hit the ballroom floor riding the legal-in-all-50-states high of having just learned that they were safe for another week. Their hip-hoppy salsa, set to Nelly’s “Hot In Here,” was like the Old El Paso mild variety of the saucy dance, despite the fact that Tony was half-naked again and Nene’s husband hit the floor with his bride. While the judges couldn’t help but note Nene’s lack of technique, Redfoo was just there to party and threw her a 9 like it was an illegal substance at a rave. 33/40.
Best/Weirdest Bergeronism of the Night: “Is it cold in here? Because both your nipples popped just now,” said Tom Bergeron to Bruno Tonioli.
Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas: Candace tried to infuse her cha cha with some hubba hubba, but because Tom Bergeron had just announced that she was in jeopardy of going home, she only managed to do an interpretive dance version of wanting to go home and pull the blankets over her head. The result wasn’t exactly a textbook example of “party rocking” to show sociology students of the future. Bruno thought he could see her “mental switch,” while Len wanted more fluid arms and even Redfoo was underwhelmed. 32/40.
James Maslow and Peta Murgatroyd: After scoring the first perfect 40 of the season, expectations were high for James and Peta’s quickstep. Their Grease-inspired routine was fast-paced and fun, but James was a little less Danny and a little more Putzie and the judges noticed. Even his #1 booster club president-for-life Carrie Ann thought his footwork could’ve been sharper. 35/40
Macy’s Stars of Dance: Derek Hough is a wildly skilled and dynamic choreographer, so it’s always fun to see him strut his stuff when he’s allowed to really create. For tonight’s routine, he teamed up with So You Think You Can Dance‘s Allison Holker for a hip-hop routine with a dance crew and neon lasers and giant robots that shot smoke (but sadly no sharks with lasers that would eat the dance crew after shooting them with lasers). It felt like a rave in a good way, and it was nice of Derek to try and make Redfoo feel right at home.
Danica McKellar and Val Chmerkovskiy: Continuing the trend of kicking dancers when they’re down, Danica and Val were told that they were in jeopardy (despite their high score last week) and then forced to cha-cha. The judges were thrilled by the routine, because they have a sadistic streak. Len deemed it the best dance of the night, while Bruno said that Danica ahd the “verve and vivacity of a purring little kitten,” and Redfoo thought Danica put “love in the club,” which in LMFAO-ese translates to a solid 9. 36/40
Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Meryl and Maks served up a solid, intense and riveting tango that left the judges nearly speechless. Luckily Redfoo was there to sum it up: “I say E.T. phone home. You know why? ‘Cause that was out of this world!” 40/40
Drew Carey and Cheryl Burke: After it was announced that Nene was safe, Drew seemed to know that he was a dead man walking and went all in on in his role as a pimp in his pimp-themed tango. Despite his best efforts, the duo was not up to the daunting task of following in the footsteps of Maks and Meryl and their perfect routine. The judges couldn’t help but draw unflattering comparisons, even though Redfoo thought Drew was “all swagged out,” and that the routine was “pimped to the tenth degree.” 32/40.
Charlie White and Sharna Burgess: Charlie had a rough week because in between rehearsing his cha cha, he was showing off his gold-medal winning skills on Stars on Ice. But you don’t win Olympic gold by giving in to exhaustion, so the routine was solid and the judges seemed to agree. Carrie Ann Inaba said it had the holy trinity of hot, sexy and funky. 36/40
Amy Purdy and Derek Hough: After last week’s princess-themed slow dance, the couple’s wedding-themed jive to “Shout” was fast-paced and fun and.. sometimes you just have to sit back and remind yourself that Amy does not have feet and that when she does a cartwheel in the middle of the routine it is flat-out mindboggling (especially if you’re Redfoo). Len announced that he loves watching her dance and then Bruno asked her to marry him and that about sums up the judges’ feelings about Amy. 38/40
The Standings: Meryl and Maks lead the night with a perfect 40/40. Drew and Cheryl are in last place with 32/40.
Who Went Home: As the night drew to a close, Candace and Mark, Danica and Val, and Drew and Cheryl were all in jeopardy of leaving. Tom quickly told Danica and Val that they were safe, and that Drew and Cheryl were out. Drew graciously said his farewells and went back to his day job of dancing down the aisles of The Price is Right.
Best Reason To Come Back Next Week: Ricky Martin. No, really, that’s what they consider the highlight of next week’s show.
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