No. No. No.
When I heard the news today that Derek Jeter announced on Facebook that he was retiring after this season, those were the first three words to pop in my head. Not because I'm sad that an all-time great is leaving the game. No, because we now have to suffer through another New York Yankees goodbye tour.
Too soon. Opposing teams, please keep the stupid gifts you're preparing to shower on Jeter. We just went through this with Mariano Rivera last season, and while Rivera is no doubt cool and classy and deserving, the whole just got to be too much. There seemed to be 8,000 or so Rivera celebrations. Mariano Rivera Day. His last appearance at the stadium. It's surprising the Yankees didn't fete his last locker room shower. Or did they? If so, I missed it, because I found myself hiding under my chair last September, in an attempt to dodge all Rivera stories.
OK, here's the requisite disclosure: I'm a Mets fan. But this isn't about any anti-Yankee sentiment, I swear. (Okay, maybe just a little bit). I respect Jeter as much as anyone. He's earned one of these sendoffs. But his timing is terrible. Back-to-back sap is just too much. I'd rather the Mets lose 100-games two straight seasons than endure another pinstripe bye-bye parade.
Baseball, call A-Rod. Reinstate him for this season. It'll be worse punishment.