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title: This Is the No. 1 Thing That Holds Most People Back From Success
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# This Is the No. 1 Thing That Holds Most People Back From Success

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by 

[Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/)


## Eric Barker


Apr 22, 2014 4:01 AM UTC

by 

[Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/)


## Eric Barker


Apr 22, 2014 4:01 AM UTC

What’s the number one thing that holds most people back from success?

It’s not intelligence or hard work.

**It’s your attitude.**

Sound like the drivel your parents told you when you were 16 that inspired eye-rolling? That’s what I thought, too.

But then I kept seeing the same thing over and over from experts and research…

## **The War For Talent Is a Myth**

Marketing genius [Seth Godin](http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths%5Fblog/2013/09/the-truth-about-the-war-for-talent.html) says it’s actually a war for attitude:

---

> “”

---

What does Harvard tell its MBA students is [the number one thing when negotiating salary](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/08/negotiation-process/)?

**_First, they need to like you._**That’s the first component. The things you do that make them like you less make it less likely that you are going to get what you want…

Now I’m not saying attitude is _everything_. There’s experience, education and other factors, of course, but…

…you’d be surprised how little even some of those matter.

**Hard working?** **_Meh._** **Overrated.**

Stanford MBA school professor [Jeffrey Pfeffer](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-stanford-mba-school-professor-teaches-secret-promotions-raises-power/) explains the research shows performance is only _loosely_ tied to who gets ahead.

Via [Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don’t](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061789089/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061789089&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20):

---

> “”

---

Studies show being liked affects performance reviews a lot more than actual performance.


Via [Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don’t](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061789089/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061789089&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20):

---

> “”

---

## **It’s a Popularity Contest—And Often for a Good Reason**

If you catch yourself saying, “_But I’m right and they’re wrong!_” — congratulations, you now have a _confirmed_ attitude problem.

Yes, it is a popularity contest — and not necessarily unfairly.

**People with more friends at the office perform better at the office.**

Via [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307591549):

---

> “”

---


**The best predictor of team success is not smarts or effort — it’s how team members feel about one another.**

Via [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307591549):

---

> “”

---

## **It’s Not About “Fair,” It’s About “Trust”**

Don’t scream “That’s not fair!” Life is not a strict meritocracy like grade school.

School can warp our heads. In the working world there’s rarely one exam where you’re an individual contributor who gets an all-defining grade.

**In the education system, collaboration is called “cheating.” In business it’s the main way things get done.** 

**And wherever there is collaboration, there’s the issue of** **trust** **.**


Does the company trust you’re on its side? Do the company’s leaders trust you’re aligned with their mission and goals?

**Hard work might not always be rewarded but research shows** [**true believers**](http://www.eurekalert.org/pub%5Freleases/2013-05/byu-wtm052913.php) **get ahead:**

A recently published BYU business study finds that **employees who are “true believers” in the mission of their organization are more likely to increase in status and influence than non-believers**…

The study found **those who exhibit a strong belief in a brand’s mission or cause become more influential in important company circles, while those simply focused on punching the clock become more peripheral players – regardless of formal company position or overall performance.**

Cynthia Shapiro, a former HR professional, lays things out pretty clearly.

Via [Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know—and What to Do About Them](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003K15PC4/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B003K15PC4&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20):

---

> “”

---


Highly skilled employees, with seemingly great value to their organizations, are let go every day because they are perceived to be a potential risk and cannot be trusted. Conversely, **employees are being promoted who don’t have the best skills and may even have to be taught how to do the job, at great expense and time, because they appear to be in alignment and the company feels they can be trusted over others.**

## **What To Do Next**

Keep in mind the lesson of [Don Quixote](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001R1LCKS/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001R1LCKS&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20):

If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.

How’s this apply to the office? Here’s my workplace equivalent:

**Be the person you were in your interview.**

That’s what they hired. That’s what they hoped they were getting for their money.

You were positive, enthusiastic, well-prepared and aimed to please.

What more could a company ask for?

**For more workplace insights from my extended interview with Stanford MBA school professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, sign up for the free weekly email update** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.**


Related posts:

[Checklist: Are you doing these five things to be more effective at work?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/checklist-effective-work/)

[What 5 insights can you learn from the best book on management ever?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/insights-management-book/)

[How To Go from “Good Manager” To “Great Leader”](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/08/qualities-of-a-leader/)

_This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/)_._

### 5 Horrible Habits You Need to Stop Right Now

![171101767](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt46271536ae2a3bad/698763b2cd68488af70976cb/171101767.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp)

Do Not Email First Thing in the Morning or Last Thing at Night “The former scrambles your priorities and all your plans for the day and the latter just gives you insomnia,” says Ferriss, who insists “email can wait until 10am” or after you check off at least one substantive to-do list item. Chris Pecoraro—Getty Images

![457982853](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt1c0de6f348f52429/698763b235ba6ffed2c04c2b/457982853.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp)

Do Not Agree to Meetings or Calls With No Clear Agenda or End Time “If the desired outcome is defined clearly… and there’s an agenda listing topics–questions to cover–no meeting or call should last more than 30 minutes,” claims Ferriss, so “request them in advance so you can ‘best prepare and make good use of our time together.'” Sam Edwards—Getty Images/Caiaimage


![83585061](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt91c929463483df4a/698763b25f570f8250b13057/83585061.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp)

Do Not Check Email Constantly Batch it and check it only periodically at set times (Ferriss goes for twice a day). Your inbox is analogous to a cocaine pellet dispenser, says Ferriss. Don’t be an addict. Tools like strategic use of the auto responder and Boomerang can help. Jetta Productions—Getty Images

![184060520](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6c690213655cda6d/698763b306f2c13148331aee/184060520.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp)

Do Not Carry a Digital Leash 24/7 At least one day a week leave you smartphone somewhere where you can’t get easy access to it. If you’re gasping, you’re probably the type of person that most needs to do kick this particular habit. by nacoki ( MEDIA ARC )—Getty Images/Flickr RF

![144869265](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt49e99f422722a05f/698763b42dce01b0e19db419/144869265.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp)

Do Not Let People Ramble Sounds harsh, but it’s necessary, Ferriss believes. “Small talk takes up big time,” he says, so when people start to tell you about their weekends, cut them off politely with something like “I’m in the middle of something, but what’s up?” But be aware, not everyone agrees with this one (and certainly not in every situation), and you may want to pay particularly close attention to norms around chit chat when traveling internationally. Reza Estakhrian—Getty Images

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