--- description: How to be more interesting. title: 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdb4ec1c99681eeb8/69868b481eebf7bad7370762/464618925.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Psychology](/tag/psychology/) ## Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Apr 18, 2014 4:19 PM CUT  MANCHESTER CENTER, VT - JANUARY 10: Jonathan Goldsmith, a.k.a. "The Most Interesting Man in the World," the cult-like figure in the highly popular Dos Equis beer commercials, lives a quiet life in the woods in Manchester Center, Vt. He is trying to remake himself as the leading advocate for removing land mines and cleaning up the legacy of war in combat zones around the world. (Photo by Dina Rudick/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) MANCHESTER CENTER, VT - JANUARY 10: Jonathan Goldsmith, a.k.a. "The Most Interesting Man in the World," the cult-like figure in the highly popular Dos Equis beer commercials, lives a quiet life in the woods in Manchester Center, Vt. He is trying to remake himself as the leading advocate for removing land mines and cleaning up the legacy of war in combat zones around the world. (Photo by Dina Rudick/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)Boston Globe/Getty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Apr 18, 2014 4:19 PM CUT I’ve posted a lot of research from experts on [getting people to like you](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-make-people-like-you/ "undefined"), being [influential](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/ "undefined") and [having great conversations](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/conversation-skills/ "undefined"). **What’s the best way to use all this information to be more interesting?** ## **1) First, Don’t Be Boring** **Sometimes the best offense is a good defense. Look at it like the Hippocratic Oath of conversations:** **_Do no harm._** We’re all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think we’re just fascinating. The #1 tip for never boring anyone comes from [Scott Adams](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00COOFBA4/?tag=barking-20 "undefined"): [**Be brief, be positive**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/are-you-a-conversational-narcissist/ "undefined")**.** **If you’re always to the point and stay upbeat, it’s extremely hard for anyone to accuse you of being poor company.** But sometimes you do need to speak a little longer to make sure things don’t get stilted. [The Art of Civilized Conversation](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000XUBDSK/?tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") offers another good tip: **Is anyone asking you questions about what you’re saying?** If not, maybe it’s time to end the story or ask the other person a question. (More rapport building techniques are [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/rapport-building-skills/ "undefined").) ## **2) The Most Captivating People Are Often Good Listeners** Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship and envy. **People love to talk about themselves and there are a dearth of good listeners.** Let the other person talk. It [gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-gives-your-brain-as-much-pleasure-as-foo/ "undefined"): --- > “” --- You can make an excellent impression by saying amazingly little. **Ironically, the people we like the most often say the least.** (Learn how to listen like a hostage negotiator [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/ "undefined").) ## **3) Talk About The Other Person’s Interests** This is straight from [Dale Carnegie](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439167346/?tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") and if you’re not that socially adept, this is as straightforward as it gets. Why struggle to guess what most people _might_ find generically interesting? **Ask people what they’ve been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You’re now 80% of the way there.** If you know about the subject [the similarity will bond you](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/whats-the-key-to-being-liked-and-being-more-i/ "undefined"). If you don’t, ask them to explain and be [a great listener](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/ "undefined") as they talk about something they love. (More on the science behind Dale Carnegie’s classic [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/truth-dale-carnegies-how-win-friends-influence-people/ "undefined").) ## **4) Have Three Good Stories** Comedians don’t just talk about [anything when they’re onstage](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/how-does-chris-rock-create-such-brilliant-com/ "undefined"). They have their act rehearsed. You don’t just trot into [a job interview](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/09/how-to-ace-a-job-interview/ "undefined") and say whatever’s on your mind. **Always have three good stories on hand that reliably entertain, inform or engage.** Another tip from [Scott Adams](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/12/how-to-fail-at-almost-everything-and-still-win-big/ "undefined"): **People are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things.** Drama, gossip and reality TV are successful for a reason. We all find human behavior fascinating. On the other hand, most people don’t want to hear about the features on your new iPhone. (More on how to tell good stories [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/ "undefined").) ## **5) Don’t Forget Charisma** It’s not all about the words. Some people are engaging but if what they said was transcribed, it would be unimpressive. **When you’re speaking emotionally, the words only account for 7% of what get conveyed.** **Seven percent** **.** **Voice tone and body language are far more important.** Via [The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0669211443/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture. Modulate your voice. Don’t just sweat the words. (Here’s how to be [charismatic](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/02/checklist-5-charismatic/ "undefined").) ## **6) Be Somewhere Interesting** Got a say in where you’ll be at, as with a date or meeting? **Pick someplace stimulating. Context matters.** In general, we’re lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from. **Research shows excitement from any source is often associated with the person you’re with — even if they’re not the cause of it.** Why do people find musicians so captivating? The music and the crowd stimulates emotions — and we viscerally associate those with the band. MIT Behavioral Economist [Dan Ariely](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-nyt-bestselling-author-dan-ariely-talks/ "undefined") [recounts](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/07/whats-the-key-to-a-fantastic-first-date/ "undefined") a relevant study he did: --- > “” --- (More on the power of context [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/whats-the-most-effective-way-to-change-you-be/ "undefined").) ## **7) And Most Importantly: Live An Interesting Life** Remember the theme of [Don Quixote](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001R1LCKS/?tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): **If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.** If you don’t read, watch and think about generic things, generic things are less likely to come out of your mouth. This doesn’t need to be expensive or difficult. **Hang out more often with the most interesting people you know.** **The friends you spend time with** [**dramatically affect your behavior**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/are-your-friends-the-easiest-route-to-self-im/ "undefined") **—** [**whether you like it or not**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/science-of-karma/ "undefined")**.** [The Longevity Project](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452297702/?tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"), which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say: **_The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become._** In [The Start-up of You](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307888908/?tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"), Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha talk about how the best way to improve particular qualities in yourself is to spend time with people who are already like that. **The best and most reliable way to appear interesting is to live an interesting life.** **And to pursue that ends up being far more rewarding than merely making a good impression on others.** **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). Related posts: [8 Things The World’s Most Successful People All Have In Common](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/12/successful-people/ "undefined") [What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-day-to-imp/ "undefined") [How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple Emails](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/make-your-life-better/ "undefined") _This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/interesting/ "undefined")_._ _Read next:_ [_10 Things the Greatest Leaders All Have In Common_](http://time.com/101743/10-things-the-greatest-leaders-all-have-in-common/%20?iid=time%5Freadnext "undefined") [_Listen to the most important stories of the day._](http://time.com/newsletter/the-brief/?sl%5Fautoplay=true&xid=spl-fullbrief-article "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/"},"headline":"7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common","datePublished":"2014-04-18T16:19:57.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:53:58.841Z","description":"How to be more interesting.","url":"https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/","keywords":["Psychology"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdb4ec1c99681eeb8/69868b481eebf7bad7370762/464618925.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdb4ec1c99681eeb8/69868b481eebf7bad7370762/464618925.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Most Interesting Man Takes Land Mine Role","caption":"Most Interesting Man Takes Land Mine Role","creditText":"Boston Globe/Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/","name":"7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"10 Questions for Helen Mirren","description":"A star of the stage and screen for over 40 years, the Oscar winner has written a memoir, In the Frame. 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