--- title: Groom Accepts the Almond Lactate Stephen Colbert Challenge description: The phrase "an almond doesn't lactate" almost sounds romantic when used in wedding vows canonical: https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/ author: Melissa Locker article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2018-08-09T14:04:06.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:47:14.542Z og:title: Groom Accepts Colbert's Challenge, Footage Does't Disappoint og:description: "An almond doesn't lactate" almost sounds romantic when used in wedding vows og:url: https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltef1d00ccc96f507e/6989375d22fb8500cce26628/colbertnutlactatewedding.jpeg?branch=production&width=1440&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: colbertnutlactatewedding og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Groom Accepts Colbert's Challenge, Footage Does't Disappoint twitter:description: "An almond doesn't lactate" almost sounds romantic when used in wedding vows twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltef1d00ccc96f507e/6989375d22fb8500cce26628/colbertnutlactatewedding.jpeg?branch=production&width=1440&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Brave Groom Absolutely Accepted Stephen Colbert's Challenge and the Footage Does Not Disappoint ## Video: This Type of Non-Dairy Milk is the Healthiest, Study Says [Watch (HLS stream): This Type of Non-Dairy Milk is the Healthiest, Study Says](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/ns9cEU8s.m3u8) (2:14)  _Published 2018-01-31. Soy milk, a popular alternative option for more than four decades, was found to be the most comparable to cow’s milk in terms of overall nutrient balance_ by [Melissa Locker](https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker Aug 9, 2018 2:04 PM UTC  by [Melissa Locker](https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker Aug 9, 2018 2:04 PM UTC When FDA commissioner Scott Gottlieb stated that his agency was going to enforce stricter laws when it came labeling plant-based beverages as “milk,” he probably had no idea his words would eventually ruin a wedding. Last month, [at the Politico Pro Summit](https://www.politico.com/story/2018/07/17/almond-lactate-nondairy-milk-scott-gottlieb-725974), Gottlieb said the FDA was going to crack down on non-dairy products like [soy milk](http://time.com/5125580/soy-milk-healthiest-plant-based/), [oat milk](http://time.com/5190977/how-oat-milk-could-change-the-way-you-drink-coffee/), and [almond milk](http://time.com/5358036/almond-breeze-almond-milk-recall/) being labeled as “milk” stating that true milk must come from “a lactating animal,” and jokingly pointing out that “an almond doesn’t lactate.” Stephen Colbert was seemingly smitten with Gottlieb’s colorful language. He appeared on _The Late Show_ wearing a white t-shirt with the phrase “an almond doesn’t lactate” written across the chest. Colbert [explained](https://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/video/WjXPFdMBKtkmF4wanmZ%5FrFn%5Ft6%5FSEmxq/the-late-show-7-27-18-laura-linney-sasheer-zamata-/) his milk stance, saying, “If it ain’t from a mammal, you can’t call it milk. It has to be soy juice and almond sweat.” Colbert then went on to challenge his viewers to work the phrase “an almond doesn’t lactate” into their wedding vows. It was clearly a joke, but one brave groom heard those words and thought, “challenge accepted.” On Thursday night’s episode of _The Late Show_ Colbert unveiled footage of viewer Paul Glassman trying to make the phrase “an almond doesn’t lactate” sound romantic—and almost succeeding. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/"},"headline":"Brave Groom Absolutely Accepted Stephen Colbert's Challenge and the Footage Does Not Disappoint","datePublished":"2018-08-09T14:04:06.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:47:14.542Z","description":"The phrase \"an almond doesn't lactate\" almost sounds romantic when used in wedding vows","url":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/","keywords":["Newsfeed","Late Night Television","the late show with stephen colbert"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltef1d00ccc96f507e/6989375d22fb8500cce26628/colbertnutlactatewedding.jpeg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Melissa Locker","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltef1d00ccc96f507e/6989375d22fb8500cce26628/colbertnutlactatewedding.jpeg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"colbertnutlactatewedding","caption":"","creditText":"","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/","name":"Brave Groom Absolutely Accepted Stephen Colbert's Challenge and the Footage Does Not Disappoint"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"This Type of Non-Dairy Milk is the Healthiest, Study Says","description":"Soy milk, a popular alternative option for more than four decades, was found to be the most comparable to cow’s milk in terms of overall nutrient balance","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/ns9cEU8s/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2018-01-31T16:18:37.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/ns9cEU8s.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/","duration":"PT2M14S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/5361215/groom-colbert-almond/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```