Katy Perry’s Story About Her Disappointing First Kiss Will Take You Back to Middle School

Even pop stars are subject to rocky starts at romance. That turns out to be the case for Witness singer Katy Perry, who opened up in a new cover interview for W Magazine about her first go at love — or at least at kissing — all the way back in the sixth grade. As with many early stories of doomed first attempts at mouth-to-mouth interaction, she doesn’t paint a pretty picture.

“It got to be my turn, and I spun the bottle, and, all of a sudden, I felt like there was a wet fish in my mouth,” she shared, blunt as ever. “That was my first kiss. When you’re in sixth grade, there’s no art to French kissing. There’s no cadence, no beautiful up and down, no waves. Instead, it just feels like your mouth is getting invaded by a slug.” Perry’s penchant for descriptive metaphor comes in handy here to convey the true horror of the situation.

Luckily, Perry chose not to name the “wet fish” involved in this sixth-grade kiss. Hopefully he or she has refined the art in the years since.