--- title: Donald Trump Birthday: Stephen Colbert Mocks President description: President Donald Trump turned 71 years old on Wednesday — and nearly every late-night host used it as an opportunity to make fun of him canonical: https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/ author: Jennifer Calfas article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-06-15T11:57:29.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-08T09:07:36.693Z og:title: The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Trump's Birthday og:description: "The big question is, what do you get the man who grabs everything for himself?" og:url: https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc1f4a7a737c34346/6988ccb1fb4eacae1c891ebf/gettyimages-6677000161.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 3000 og:image:height: 1688 og:image:alt: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Trump's Birthday twitter:description: "The big question is, what do you get the man who grabs everything for himself?" twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc1f4a7a737c34346/6988ccb1fb4eacae1c891ebf/gettyimages-6677000161.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Trump's Birthday > Sponsored content. 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Terms and conditions apply. * Savings buckets are a feature of Ally Bank's Savings Account. * No ATM fees from Ally Bank at Allpoint and Moneypass ATMs plus we reimburse for fees charged by other ATM owners nationwide up to $10 per statement cycle. * Early direct deposit offers eligible direct deposits up to two days sooner. * Spending buckets are a feature of Ally Bank's Spending Account. ## Video: Late-Night TV Takes on Trump [Watch (HLS stream): Late-Night TV Takes on Trump](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/n9RiOocv.m3u8) (1:58)  _Published 2016-09-14. In the wake of the Orlando shooting, four of late night television's hosts held nothing back in their criticism of Donald Trump's response._ by [Jennifer Calfas](https://time.com/author/jennifer-calfas/) ## Jennifer Calfas Jun 15, 2017 11:57 AM UTC In the wake of the Orlando shooting, four of late night television's hosts held nothing back in their criticism of Donald Trump's response. by [Jennifer Calfas](https://time.com/author/jennifer-calfas/) ## Jennifer Calfas Jun 15, 2017 11:57 AM UTC [President Donald Trump](http://time.com/4819320/donald-trump-robert-mueller-investigation-obstruction-of-justice/) turned 71 years old on Wednesday, and nearly every late-night television host had something to say about it. On the _Late Show_, [Stephen Colbert](http://time.com/4816094/colbert-trump-cabinet-meeting/) presented Trump with three different gifts. “I wanted to give Donald something very special,” Colbert said. “After all, as a late-night host, he’s given me so much.” Colbert then showed an iTunes gift card (“the exact same thing you give someone you don’t really know”), a small pair of gloves and a brown paper bag labeled “candle” with some kind of wet substance inside. “Let’s just say it’s pungent,” Colbert said of the “candle.” “Don’t open up — I’ll light it for you and leave it on your doorstep. Just make a wish before you stomp it out.” Though Colbert typically doesn’t go a night without poking fun at the president, other late-night hosts like James Corden, Jimmy Kimmel, Trevor Noah and Seth Meyers also joined in. “Happy birthday to President Trump, who turns 71 today,” [Meyers](http://time.com/4810750/seth-meyers-comey-trump/) said on _Late Night_. “So the president is a man in his 70s who wants a golf score in the 60s, his country in the ’50s and a wife in her 20s.” On _Jimmy Kimmel Live!_, [Jimmy Kimmel](http://time.com/4816233/jimmy-kimmel-fathers-day-2017-challenge/) spliced together footage of Trump praising himself and his policies at rallies and speeches across the country, setting it to the tune of “Happy Birthday” to make Trump’s birthday message to himself. “At the White House, they had a little party for the president. They played ‘pin the blame on the press secretary,'” Kimmel said. “Melania jumped out of a cake and made a run for it. Vladimir Putin didn’t show up, but you know, he gave Trump his present back in November.” [James Corden](http://time.com/4812549/emily-blunt-romeo-juliet/) joked that at Trump’s birthday celebration, he and his staff played “pin the bad economy on the Obama” and they “didn’t have to hire a clown.” “Trump may have turned 70, but his views about women are 150 years old,” Corden joked (though Trump turned 71). “It must be tough to buy Trump a gift though. What do you get a man who hates everything?” And on the _Daily Show_, [Trevor Noah](http://time.com/4817752/trevor-noah-donald-trump-political-suicide/) pondered a similar question as Corden: “The big question is, what do you get the man who grabs everything for himself?” ## Transcript [00:00] No, we don't know that. Not only does Trump want- [00:02] The national front knockoff- Monday was a new low. [00:07] [ MUSIC ] Yesterday in the wake of the shooting in [00:09] Orlando, Donald Trump did a speech on terrorism. [00:12] The LGBT community is just What happened to them [00:16] is just so sad. I just wanted to congratulate the LGBT [00:20] community and all these new friends they suddenly [00:22] have. I refuse to be politically correct. >. And [00:27] just To be safe, he refuses to be correct. [ LAUGH ] [00:30] Westerners have to work with us, they have to work [00:33] with us. They know what's going on. Yes, all Muslims [00:36] know what other Muslims are thinking. No wait, no [00:39] wait. You're thinking of bees. That's what you're [00:41] thinking of. [ LAUGH ] They're magical that way. Trump [00:44] learned that from the documentary Aladdin. Hillary [00:47] Clinton can never claim to be a friend of the gay [00:50] community As long as she continues to support [00:53] immigration policies that bring Islamic extremists to [00:57] our country. And all you gay Muslims, just punch [01:00] yourselves in the face, I guess. Let's cut the crap. This [01:02] guy's [ BLEEP ] crazy dangerous. This whole speech, [01:05] with its nativism, it's fear mongering To be clear this [01:09] is bigotry plain and simple. They cannot believe that [01:13] President Obama is acting the way he acts and can't [01:16] even mention the words radical Islamic terrorism. [01:20] There's something going on, it's inconceivable. [01:23] Inconceivable. Especially to Brian Kilmeade. [ LAUGH ] [01:28] The Republican nominee is saying the President of the [01:31] United States is a secret agent for ISIS. Trump didn't [01:35] explicitly say it, he implied it with all the subtlety of an [01:39] eighth grader's cologne. So I'll let that, we'll let people. [01:42] figure it out. And he expects us to figure out the crazy [01:46] [ SOUND ] he says. I hope Trump explains it soon, [01:49] because until he does, that kinda [01:53] looks like he's an [ SOUND ] ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/"},"headline":"The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Trump's Birthday","datePublished":"2017-06-15T11:57:29.000Z","dateModified":"2026-10-08T09:07:36.693Z","description":"\"The big question is, what do you get the man who grabs everything for himself?\"","url":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/","keywords":["Newsfeed","Donald Trump","Late Night Television","onetime"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc1f4a7a737c34346/6988ccb1fb4eacae1c891ebf/gettyimages-6677000161.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Jennifer Calfas","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/jennifer-calfas/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc1f4a7a737c34346/6988ccb1fb4eacae1c891ebf/gettyimages-6677000161.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert","caption":"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert","creditText":"CBS/Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/","name":"The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Trump's Birthday"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Late-Night TV Takes on Trump","description":"In the wake of the Orlando shooting, four of late night television's hosts held nothing back in their criticism of Donald Trump's response.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/n9RiOocv/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2016-09-14T21:13:41.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/n9RiOocv.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/","duration":"PT1M58S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4819646/donald-trump-birthday-jokes-stephen-colbert/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```