Wednesday night on The Late Show was the most wonderful time of the year for Stephen Colbert as he celebrated a “magical night” he dubbed “Comey Testimony Eve.”
Ahead of former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony before the Senate intelligence committee on Thursday, Colbert could barely contain his excitement as he quoted from Comey’s opening remarks at length for a live dramatic reading.
Colbert’s take: “There’s a lot of weird stuff in these documents.”
Soon after Inauguration Day, Comey said in one account that Trump invited him for a dinner and “it turned out to be just the two of them…seated at a small oval table,” Colbert said. “Oh come on. That’s the oldest trick in the book,” he joked. “You invite your FBI director over for a movie saying it’s going to be a group thing. When he shows up, it’s just the two of you. Can’t make Netflix work, so you obstruct justice.”
Colbert then took it upon himself to unpack Comey’s account of another widely covered one-on-one for the audience.
“The president said, ‘I need loyalty, I expect loyalty,’” Comey wrote. “I didn’t move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed.”
Colbert seized on that meeting with a dinosaur-themed punchline. “He didn’t move. He didn’t move a muscle. Basically, Comey treated Trump like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.
Watch the full monologue below.