--- title: Netflix Show "13 Reasons Why" Has Every Parental Nightmare description: "13 Reasons Why" on Netflix details a teen's suicide — and every other fear a parent has for their child, including bullying and rape canonical: https://time.com/4775444/13-reasons-why-parental-nightmares/ author: Susanna Schrobsdorff article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-05-11T10:52:07.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-08T09:01:59.620Z article:section: Ideas og:title: What It Feels Like When All Your Parental Nightmares Are In One TV Series og:description: Netflix's "13 Reasons Why" was popular with teens before parents discovered it og:url: https://time.com/4775444/13-reasons-why-parental-nightmares/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt66d6ab16f937a654/6988ccd397cdff297b6b0a52/edel-rodriguez.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1937 og:image:height: 1090 og:image:alt: edel-rodriguez og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What It Feels Like When All Your Parental Nightmares Are In One TV Series twitter:description: Netflix's "13 Reasons Why" was popular with teens before parents discovered it twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt66d6ab16f937a654/6988ccd397cdff297b6b0a52/edel-rodriguez.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # What It Feels Like When All Your Parental Nightmares Are Rolled Into One TV Series > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=da9d370c-883e-4a8f-92e8-5fac68733314&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: 3 Tips For Talking To Your Kids About 13 Reasons Why [Watch (HLS stream): 3 Tips For Talking To Your Kids About 13 Reasons Why](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/2WiuvyRU.m3u8) (2:55)  _Published 2017-05-18. 3 tips for parents about how to talk to kids about Netflix's controversial '13 Reasons Why' from Common Sense Media's Polly Conway_  by [Susanna Schrobsdorff](https://time.com/author/susanna-schrobsdorff/)  ## Susanna Schrobsdorff May 11, 2017 10:52 AM UTC  by [Susanna Schrobsdorff](https://time.com/author/susanna-schrobsdorff/)  ## Susanna Schrobsdorff May 11, 2017 10:52 AM UTC Nobody tells you how many times your heart will stop when you have kids. If you knew how terrifying even the almost-tragedies are, you might not have children in the first place. The time your newborn rolled off the bed and there was a harrowing silence before she started to cry. Or when you grabbed her just before she walked into traffic. And the ballooning panic of not being able to find her in a crowd. When they become teenagers, the mission becomes more complicated. Their bodies are their own. But the thought of them getting hurt, really hurt, is still unbearable. And the thought of them injuring themselves deliberately is painful on a level for which there are no measurements. That’s probably why there’s been such an outpouring of emotion about the new Netflix series _13 Reasons Why_, about a teenage girl’s suicide and its aftermath. It’s truly graphic. We see the lead character, Hannah, lie in a tub and slice into her forearms with a razor. We watch her die slowly. We see her mother cry out as she tries to lift her daughter’s water-soaked body. There’s no looking away. And if that weren’t enough, leading up to that scene, there’s cyberbullying, self-harm, rape, sexual harassment, a fatal car crash — just about everything awful that can happen to a teen. Hannah narrates her story posthumously as a sort of crime drama via seven audio cassettes that sequentially reveal the names of 13 people whose behavior contributed to the “reasons why” she killed herself. For parents, this is a drawn-out horror movie, one that feels all too possible. Earlier this month, a new study of 32 children’s hospitals across the country showed that admissions for suicidal behavior and serious self-harm among 5-to-17-year-olds more than doubled between 2008 and ’15\. That’s just a tiny percentage of the kids who are experiencing major depression or anxiety or are hurting themselves in various ways, like cutting. Nationally, 17.7% of teens reported seriously considering attempting suicide in 2015, according to the CDC. Not surprisingly, the show, which premiered on March 31, has become a binge-watching obsession among teens and tweens. Netflix doesn’t publish ratings, but by social-media metrics, _13 Reasons Why_, based on the best-selling 2007 young-adult book by Jay Asher, is one of the network’s biggest hits. Lots of kids watched the series before adults had even heard of it. Schools were forced to play catch-up with notices warning parents of the explicit depictions of suicide and rape. Clinicians like Dr. Megan Moreno, who heads the Social Media and Adolescent Health Research Team at Seattle Children’s Hospital, says her team is concerned about kids already struggling with depression because the series “presents suicide as a logical solution.” In response to the controversy, Netflix added a warning at the start of the series. And there are [extra features](https://www.netflix.com/title/80179249) with[ crisis-line info](https://13reasonswhy.info/#usa) as well as psychologists and producers (including Selena Gomez) encouraging discussion of the issues raised: “We had a number of people ask us along the way why we had Hannah kill herself in the way we did and why we showed it,” [said creator Brian Yorkey](https://www.netflix.com/title/80179249). “We did want it to be painful to watch. Because we wanted to be very clear that there is nothing in any way worthwhile about suicide.” Nonetheless, Jim Steyer, the CEO of [Common Sense Media](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/13-reasons-why), a nonprofit that provides reviews for parents, has written to Netflix CEO Reed Hastings asking the network to do more to inform parents about mature content targeted to kids. The current “lack of policy,” writes Steyer, is “highly irresponsible.” The most troubling thing about the series might not be how graphic it is, but the portrayal of depression. “Suicide is not a revenge game,” says Dr. Fadi Haddad, co-founder of the Children’s Comprehensive Psychiatric Emergency Program at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. “It’s the act of someone in agony, and we don’t see that kind of depression in the lead character. She remains functional until the end.” Of course, the hopelessness and isolation that many teens face doesn’t make for a fast-paced plot. And the causes of depression can’t be summed up on a list of incidents or people to blame. It’d be simpler if that were true. Treatment for depression is slow. Progress comes with heartbreaking setbacks. And you realize that after shielding your kids from danger since birth, you can’t always protect them from themselves. All you can do is stay close, get help and don’t ever give up. **Read TIME’s cover story:** [Teen Depression and Anxiety: Why the Kids Are Not All Right](http://time.com/magazine/us/4547305/november-7th-2016-vol-188-no-19-u-s/) And: [ Teen Depression and Anxiety: What Parents Can Do](http://time.com/4546993/teen-depression-and-anxiety-what-parents-can-do/) **Resources from Common Sense Media for families:** [13 Reasons Why: Five Conversations Families Should Have ](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/5-conversations-to-have-with-your-teens-after-13-reasons-why) [13Reasons Why: Review (TV) 16+](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/13-reasons-why) [13 Reasons Why: Review (Book) 14+](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/thirteen-reasons-why) [13 Reasons Why: Video Review ](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/videos/13-reasons-why-video-review) ## Transcript I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. [ MUSIC ] This show definitely recreates a world that is real for kids, in terms of how much social media activity happens. And it shows the dark parts of high school life and situations that are real and that happen, and I think that teens respond to that big time. Just ask have you seen the show? If the answer was yes, what did you think of it? Does this seem like something that would happen in real life? What would you do if you were in this position? The major discussion points for me It's not necessarily the content, the suicide, the rape. It's the way its addressed in the show, the way that the suicide is framed as sort of a revenge. That's not how it works. [ UNKNOWN ] Come on. I would make sure that my kid would be comfortable talking to me about- That stuff happening in their lives and the lives of their friends. I think that so many times it's kept a secret. You gotta start opening up to us, kid. Just opening the door to discussing what you might do in that situation. That it's okay to tell people that that's something that's You know gonna get you more assistance and more guidance. If you gonna watch it, watch it together and talk about it together. Even if you don't allow your kid to watch it at least you could use its existence as an opportunity to discuss these issues. It's a dark show. It's not for everybody but a lot of parents and Have come to us and said what a great opportunity it was for them to come together and talk about something that they were not going to talk about otherwise. Some of you care. None of you cared enough. Also just because this show or any show is bingeable Doesn't mean you have to do it that way. This show is so deeply emotional and hard to watch. I can't imagine watching it all in one sitting and then going about my regular business. So if parents are deciding to watch it with their kids, I would So take it one or two episodes at a time. There is a world of resources available to kids who have watched this show or kids who are dealing with mental health issues. And adults want to help and I think that that's something that this show doesn't necessarily drive home too much, but I think it's really important for kids to know that. That's really all adults want is to be involved and to help. That's all. 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