--- title: How to Tell if You’re With the Right Person description: Discover 4 signs that indicate whether you're in a supportive relationship. canonical: https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/ author: Real Simple article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-05-09T16:04:19.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-08T09:01:36.673Z og:title: 4 Ways to Tell if You’re With the Right Person og:description: Have you found your soulmate? og:url: https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3819babe35cab367/6988cc94196cf45dcb040095/tell-if-youre-with-right-person.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 7360 og:image:height: 4140 og:image:alt: Kiss at the Park og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 4 Ways to Tell if You’re With the Right Person twitter:description: Have you found your soulmate? twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3819babe35cab367/6988cc94196cf45dcb040095/tell-if-youre-with-right-person.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 4 Ways to Tell You’re With the Right Person > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=c3c2ab8c-8fc8-4b54-8c6e-0ece8c480a70&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: 5 Ways Love Is Good for Your Health [Watch (HLS stream): 5 Ways Love Is Good for Your Health](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/Hs6pBnvc.m3u8) (2:13)  _Published 2018-02-14. If you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day may be one of the healthiest days of the year — despite the champagne and chocolate._ by [Grace Elkus / Real Simple](https://time.com/author/real-simple/) ## Grace Elkus / Real Simple May 9, 2017 4:04 PM UTC by [Grace Elkus / Real Simple](https://time.com/author/real-simple/) ## Grace Elkus / Real Simple May 9, 2017 4:04 PM UTC Whether you’re entering a new relationship or hitting a significant milestone, it’s natural to question whether you’ve chosen the right partner. We talked to Elizabeth Schoenfeld, Ph.D., director of research and evaluation at [LifeWorks](http://lifeworksaustin.org/) and frequent contributor to [ScienceofRelationships.com](http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/), and Marina Williams, a therapist in Boston and the author of [_Couples Counseling: A Step by Step Guide for Therapists_](https://aax-us-east.amazon-adsystem.com/x/c/QumbUIp%5FBXVvCYGUGyvos-wAAAFb7eQSVgEAAAFKAdB2I5M/http://www.amazon.com/Couples-Counseling-Step-Guide-Therapists/dp/0615649157/ref=as%5Fat/?creativeASIN=0615649157&imprToken=ihr9-6VIiIWQI6FootEQMA&slotNum=0&tag=REASIM03-20&linkCode=w61&s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1443622427&sr=1-1&keywords=Couples+Counseling%3A+A+Step+by+Step+Guide+for+Therapists)_,_ about the telltale signs you should look for. ### They’re Attentive Small, daily gestures of romance are an important part of a supportive relationship, especially when they align with your personal needs. If you’re feeling under the weather, for example, you’ll appreciate your partner more if he or she makes you soup rather than brings home concert tickets, Schoenfeld says. “Having a partner who notices what you need or want in a given moment and responds accordingly bodes well for the long-term potential of your relationship.” ### They’re Affectionate Whether its hugging, kissing, or cuddling before bed, regularly engaging in some form of physical affection is key to feeling connected to your partner, according to Schoenfeld. “Generally speaking, couples who are more physically affectionate with one another tend to be more satisfied with their partners and their relationships—which makes sense, as individuals tend to feel more cared for and understood when their partners show physical affection,” she says. And being affectionate is good for our personal and mental health, too. ### They Respond Well to Conflict How you communicate in the heat of an argument can be a telltale sign of the status of your relationship. In fact, the _amount_ of conflict you engage in with your partner doesn’t matter nearly as much as _how_ the argument is handled, Schoenfeld says. In healthy relationships, each partner responds to conflict in a caring and supportive manner. “If they listen to what you’re saying, respect where you’re coming from, and respond to your disclosures by sharing their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences (without making the conversation all about them), then intimacy is more likely to flourish.” If you are communicating poorly, however, don’t give up hope. “As a couples counselor, I always love it when the problem is communication because it’s something that’s very easily fixed, granted that the couple is willing to change,” Williams says. ### They Share Your Values and Goals While it’s okay (and perfectly normal) to have different interests from your partner, it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to long-term goals. “Differences can be great for balancing out a couple and making things more interesting socially,” Williams says. “Where I think it’s important to be similar is in your values and goals for the future.” And Schoenfeld agrees: “Prioritize similarities that have long-term implications, such as a shared desire (or lack of desire) for marriage or children.” This [article](https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/relationships/signs-right-person) originally appeared on RealSimple.com ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] [ MUSIC ] ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/"},"headline":"4 Ways to Tell You’re With the Right Person","datePublished":"2017-05-09T16:04:19.000Z","dateModified":"2026-10-08T09:01:36.673Z","description":"Have you found your soulmate?","url":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/","keywords":["motto","relationship advice","Evergreen"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3819babe35cab367/6988cc94196cf45dcb040095/tell-if-youre-with-right-person.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Grace Elkus / Real Simple"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt3819babe35cab367/6988cc94196cf45dcb040095/tell-if-youre-with-right-person.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Kiss at the Park","caption":"Kiss at the Park","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/motto/","name":"motto"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/","name":"4 Ways to Tell You’re With the Right Person"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"5 Ways Love Is Good for Your Health","description":"If you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day may be one of the healthiest days of the year — despite the champagne and chocolate.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/Hs6pBnvc/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2018-02-14T16:15:00.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/Hs6pBnvc.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/","duration":"PT2M13S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4772455/how-to-tell-if-youre-with-right-person/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```