--- title: How Much Sex Is Healthy In a Relationship? description: Wondering how much sex is normal? Researchers have an answer. Having sex once a week is linked to health benefits and marriage wellbeing canonical: https://time.com/4692326/how-much-sex-is-healthy-in-a-relationship/ author: Markham Heid article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-03-07T16:00:15.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-07T07:19:34.831Z article:section: Health og:title: Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week og:description: Wondering how much sex is normal? Researchers have an answer. Having sex once a week is linked to health benefits and marriage wellbeing og:url: https://time.com/4692326/how-much-sex-is-healthy-in-a-relationship/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt069d35fd170a4f2f/6988bcef656a3f3905bcf049/feet-bed.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 7000 og:image:height: 3938 og:image:alt: Love og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week twitter:description: Wondering how much sex is normal? Researchers have an answer. Having sex once a week is linked to health benefits and marriage wellbeing twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt069d35fd170a4f2f/6988bcef656a3f3905bcf049/feet-bed.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 video:duration: 03:13 video:published: 2014-08-20 section: health topics: sex therapy, Masters and Johnson, sexual intimacy, orgasm, masturbation, casual sex, technology and relationships, lack of desire, sexual health history genre: interview, documentary tones: reflective, candid, warm, thoughtful emotions: nostalgia (medium), concern (medium), warmth (medium) sentiment: neutral audience: adults interested in relationships, readers of health and wellness content, people curious about sexual health, couples people: Shirley Zussman, Masters and Johnson products: iPhone content_suitability: sexual content [00:00-03:13] transcript_source: publisher captions transcript_reviewed: not applicable ---  # Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Health Matters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Health Matters is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. The latest health news and expert advice on living well. Health Matters makes the fast-moving world of health more useful, surprising and human, from the latest science and medical breakthroughs to practical ideas for living better. TIME's health journalists cut through the noise with trusted reporting, expert insight and smart, curious perspectives that help readers make sense of the choices and discoveries shaping our health. 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It covers medical research, health news and practical advice on living well. #### Where can I get reliable health news by email? Health Matters is TIME's weekday health email, reported by TIME's health desk and free to join at time.com/newsletters. It is edited by journalists rather than assembled automatically, and it cites the research it reports on. #### Is Health Matters free? Yes. Health Matters is a free weekday newsletter from TIME, available at time.com/newsletters. #### Who reads TIME's Health Matters newsletter? Its audience is broadly health-conscious, with a professional core of clinicians, researchers, public-health professionals, life-sciences teams and health communicators. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-health-2026q3/newsletters?i=4e928ef0-8717-4009-ace7-3451b7b4acbb&cr=time-nl-health-2026q3-v1) ## Video: A 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist on Having Good Sex, Then and Now [Watch (HLS stream): A 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist on Having Good Sex, Then and Now](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uJFYIrvP.m3u8) (3:13)  _Published 2014-08-20. A practicing sex therapist in New York City, Dr. Shirley Zussman has witnessed everything from the legalization of the contraceptive birth control pill to the AIDs epidemic in the 1980s to the rise of internet porn in the new millenium._ Description, summary, key points, chapters, key quotes, questions and transcript, where present, were produced automatically from the video or its captions and were not reviewed. ## Summary Sex therapist Shirley Zussman, who has recently turned 100, describes her career beginning with a 1966 lecture by Masters and Johnson and the training she sought afterward. She explains how patients' concerns, such as learning to reach orgasm, have changed over time. She then contrasts past casual sex with today's reduced physical connection, citing iPhones, and names lack of desire as the most common problem she sees now. ## Key points - Shirley Zussman says she has reached 100 years of age and is still a practicing sex therapist. (00:23) - Zussman and her husband attended a 1966 lecture in New Jersey given by Masters and Johnson, whose work was little known at the time. (00:32) - Zussman describes Masters and Johnson's work as showing that good sexual experience requires learning to be a good partner and enduring pleasure for each other. (01:05) - In the early days, women most often came to the clinic because they wanted to achieve orgasm but did not know how. (01:33) - Masters and Johnson offered a relatively simple approach: learn about your own body and what makes you feel good, including through masturbation. (01:51) - Zussman says casual sex in the 1960s was not just casual but frantic. (02:12) - Zussman says she is shocked at the lack of connection between people today, pointing to iPhones and reduced touching, talking, holding and looking. (02:21) - Zussman says the most common problem in her practice today is a lack of desire, and advises people to examine their priorities. (02:43) ## Chapters - [00:00 to 00:23] Intimacy beyond sexual pleasure. Zussman opens by saying partners want intimacy, closeness, understanding, comfort, fun and care beyond sex. - [00:23 to 01:05] Introduction and Masters and Johnson lecture. Zussman introduces herself and recounts attending a 1966 lecture by Masters and Johnson and the training that followed. - [01:05 to 01:51] Early patients and learning to be partners. Zussman describes the early clinic's patients, mostly women seeking orgasm, and the emphasis on partnership and self-knowledge. - [01:51 to 02:12] Learning about your body. Zussman explains the encouragement of self-exploration and masturbation to learn what feels good. - [02:12 to 02:43] Changes in casual sex and connection. Zussman compares casual sex in the 1960s with today and laments reduced physical connection. - [02:43 to 03:13] Lack of desire and priorities. Zussman identifies lack of desire as the most common problem and urges people to set priorities that fill a need for closeness. ## Key quotes - [00:00] Shirley Zussman: "They want intimacy, they want closeness, they want understanding, they want comfort, they want fun" - [01:05] Shirley Zussman: "One had to almost had to learn how to be a good partner and to endure the pleasure not only for yourself but for each other." - [02:21] Shirley Zussman: "I'm shocked at the lack of connection with people; because of iPhones, even I love my iPhone." - [02:43] Shirley Zussman: "the most common problem, I would say, in the sex therapy that I live in, is a lack of desire." - [03:03] Shirley Zussman: "to establish something that is gratifying that really fills a need that we all have to be close to somebody." ## Questions this video answers - What do people want from each other beyond sexual pleasure? [00:00] - How did Masters and Johnson's work first come to Shirley Zussman's attention? [00:23] - What did women most often seek help for when they first came to the clinic? [01:33] - How does Zussman describe casual sex in the 1960s compared with today? [02:12] - What is the most common problem Zussman sees in her sex therapy practice? [02:43] ## Content suitability - sexual content [00:00-03:13]: The video discusses sex, sexual pleasure, orgasm and masturbation in a clinical, non-explicit way. by [Markham Heid](https://time.com/author/markham-heid/) ## Markham Heid Markham Heid is a contributor at TIME. He is the author of The Habit Trap, due out in early 2027. Mar 7, 2017 4:00 PM UTC A practicing sex therapist in New York City, Dr. Shirley Zussman has witnessed everything from the legalization of the contraceptive birth control pill to the AIDs epidemic in the 1980s to the rise of internet porn in the new millenium. by [Markham Heid](https://time.com/author/markham-heid/) ## Markham Heid Markham Heid is a contributor at TIME. He is the author of The Habit Trap, due out in early 2027. Mar 7, 2017 4:00 PM UTC Sex and health go hand in hand. Research [has linked it](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01677.x/full) to a slimmer waistline, a stronger heart and a lower risk for prostate and breast cancers. It’s also a boon for mental health, since sex is associated with lower rates of depression and better mood. But Americans today are having less of it than Americans a decade ago, according to a just-released [study](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1) appearing in _Archives of Sexual Behavior_. From 2010 to 2014, the average American adult had sex nine fewer times per year than Americans did from 2000 to 2004, the researchers found. That drop in frequency was even steeper for married couples who live together; they had sex 16 fewer times a year. What’s going on? “We can only speculate,” says the study’s first author, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of [_Generation Me_](http://www.generationme.org/). But the increase in time spent working and parenting may be possible explanations for the drop in sex among married people. she says. Plus, with the rise in quality and accessibility of streaming entertainment, competition for free time is stiffer. “There are now so many other ways to spend leisure time at home,” she says. The allure of Netflix and other device-based diversions may be elbowing sex aside. But despite these declines in hanky panky, our lives are far from sexless. The average adult enjoys sex 54 times a year, or a little more than once a week, Twenge’s data show. While married couples under the same roof don’t fool around quite as much, they still have sex about 51 times each year. That’s a good thing, because having sex once a week may be “optimal” if you’re hoping to maximize happiness, [according to research](http://time.com/4116508/for-a-happier-life-have-sex-once-a-week/) from Amy Muise, an assistant professor of psychology at York University in Canada. Muise and her study team found that couples who have a lot of sex tend to experience better wellbeing. “Sex is associated with feeling more satisfied in a relationship,” Muise says. But beyond once a week, the wellbeing benefits of sex seem to level off. That’s not to say that having sex a few times a week (or more) is a bad thing. It just doesn’t seem to make couples any happier, she says. Of course, it’s hard to show cause and effect when it comes to sex and your health. Leading a happy, healthy lifestyle likely leads to more sex; the act itself doesn’t necessarily improve your physical and mental wellness. Still, whether sex is a symptom or a cause of wellbeing, a healthy sex life is worth the work. If you’re falling short of that once-a-week quota, making an effort to have more sex could be a good idea, as long as it doesn’t feel too forced. A 2015 [study](http://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/docs/loewenstein/IncreasedSexualFrequency.pdf) from Carnegie Mellon University concluded that couples who tried to have more sex did not feel happier—but that study’s author, economics and psychology professor George Loewenstein, takes his own findings with a grain of salt. “In retrospect, I believe that this study was misguided,” he says. “Instructing couples to double their frequency might have turned sex into a chore for them.” Muise also points out that the couples in Loewenstein’s study were already having sex once a week. “It’s possible that they were already maximizing the association \[between sex and\] wellbeing,” she says. “I still think that couples could benefit from a bit of outside encouragement to have more sex,” Loewenstein says. That’s especially true if you and your significant other have been together for a long time. “When a couple has been together for some time, the mere presence of the other person, even unclothed, ceases to be exciting or arousing.” But that doesn’t mean doing it won’t be just as fun and invigorating as it used to be, he says. It may just take a little more work to get your fires started. ## Transcript [00:00] Sexual pleasure is only one part of what men and [00:03] women want from each other. They want intimacy, they [00:07] want closeness, they want understanding, they want [00:10] comfort, they want fun, and they want somebody who [00:14] really cares about them beyond going to bed with [00:16] them, and I think people are always seeking that. In [00:20] every generation. [ MUSIC ] [00:23] My name is Shirley Zussman. I just reached a hundred [00:27] years of age, and I am a practicing [00:32] sex therapist. I was invited with my husband [00:36] to a lecture in New Jersey, in 1966. Masters [00:41] and Johnson were the speakers. No body knew about [00:43] them. Human sexual response had just been [00:46] published, what I saw was a couple [00:51] who will say that people had problems in an area [00:55] in their lives that was very important and they were [00:58] recognizing that it was all not just. Glamorous and [01:01] wonderful to be sexual. One had to almost had to [01:05] learn how to be a good partner and to endure the [01:08] pleasure not only for yourself but for each other. And I [01:11] thought we can do that. Why can't we do that? And we [01:15] applied for training with Masters and Johnson at that [01:17] time. The patients that came to us were people who [01:21] read the paper. The only way they do anything about [01:25] the work that was being done there. And the problems [01:28] they came with, was somewhat different than the [01:30] problems they come with today. Mostly, women came [01:33] because would put out orgasmic, they didn't know how [01:36] to achieve an orgasm, but they wanted one. It [01:40] was so over that ,. Goal they had for themselves and [01:43] how do I get there. That was one Masters and [01:47] Johnson's contribution that there was a relatively [01:51] simple way to start learning about your body. In [01:55] other words, get, get to know your, who you are [01:58] sexually and physically and that was. And [02:03] encouragement for masturbation for learning what [02:06] makes you feel good. I [02:12] see a big change in the we view casual sex. [02:17] In the 60's I think it was not just casual it was frantic. [02:21] I'm shocked at the lack of connection with people; [02:25] because of iPhones, even I love my iPhone. There [02:30] is so much less actual physical connection, there's [02:34] less touching, there's less talking, there's less holding, [02:38] there's less looking, [ INAUDIBLE ]. People get pleasure [02:41] from looking at each other. But the most common [02:43] problem, I would say, in the sex therapy [02:49] that I live in, is a lack of desire. You have to look [02:53] at your priorities. You have to decide what is important [02:57] to make you feel good about yourself and your life. [02:59] And to help make your partner feel good and to [03:03] establish something that is gratifying that really fills [03:07] a need that we all have to be close to somebody. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4692326/how-much-sex-is-healthy-in-a-relationship/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4692326/how-much-sex-is-healthy-in-a-relationship/"},"headline":"Here’s How Much Sex You Should Have Every Week","datePublished":"2017-03-07T16:00:15.000Z","dateModified":"2026-10-07T07:19:34.831Z","description":"Wondering how much sex is normal? Researchers have an answer. 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