"The Bachelor," on Jan. 4, 2017.
Rick Rowell—ABC/Getty Images
By Melissa Locker
February 28, 2017

When we last saw Nick Viall on The Bachelor, he was fresh off of hometown dates where Corinne made herself “vulnerable” by telling Nick that she loved him in the food court of a Miami mall; Rachel’s family got real about race; Raven rolled around in mud and almost got Nick arrested; and Vanessa showed him what it really means to be tri-lingual. Just as he was about to cut one of the finalists, there was a knock on his door and he found himself face-to-face with his ex-girlfriend, former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman. She didn’t want back in Nick’s good graces (she is smart, after all) but just wanted to talk about his life choices before he headed into the fantasy suites.

Here’s what happened on The Bachelor:

The Drama: To get things started on the right the foot, Nick reminds Andi that the last time she knocked on his hotel room door was to dump him. Not that he’s still hung up on it or anything. Nick then says that he’s not planning on getting engaged just because he’s the Bachelor — and off-camera a producer is probably asking an intern to photocopy Nick’s contract for him again.

While Nick famously shamed Andi for making the most of the fantasy suite with him and then dumping him, she thinks he should be intimate with all three of the women if he wants, so long as he genuinely could see putting a ring on it, of course. “You can do whatever you want. You’re dating them. You’ve met their families,” she said. Then they make nice and say they just want each other to be happy or whatever they’re contractually entitled to.

The Final Four: After his chat with Andi, Nick is now confident that this entire experience will work out — even though it didn’t work out for Andi and Josh, her chosen beau. He just has one little problem, Nick loves them all and he can’t decide which one he loves the most. Corinne is very expensive, he has a lot of questions for Vanessa, Raven is fun, and while he and Rachel “have something,” she hasn’t expressed any “verbal affirmations” yet. Also, she’s the new Bachelorette, which could put a wrench in their relationship.

The Rose Ceremony: Nick has no idea who he will send home, but it’s hard to keep up the pretense when Rachel was announced as the next Bachelorette three weeks ago. Nick pensively stares at the rose before calling Raven’s name. She happily accepts the rose. Then he calls Rachel’s name and she accepts the rose, which is awkward. If she makes it to the finale, it will be the least dramatic finale ever. Finally, Vanessa’s name is called, leaving Corinne to deeply regret her decision to buy Nick a $3,000 outfit at the mall last week. She starts bawling and apologizes for whatever she did to make him upset. Nick says she has nothing to regret and will live happily ever after on Bachelor in Paradise. Well, he didn’t say that, but it was heavily implied. There’s no way that The Bachelor is letting that fount of bon mots and platinum vagine go. As Corinne rides to the airport in the limo of shame, she wonders why she can’t have a normal relationship (…perhaps because she’s on The Bachelor?) Corinne promises that, as God is her witness, she will never kiss up to a man again in her life. Then she went to sleep.

The Finnish Finish Line: For the Fantasy Suites, the producers have swapped the boring old beach scenes for some sweet Nordic romance. Nick is heading to Finland for some hygge romance. He steps off his Finnair flight and goes to stare off into the middle distance on a balcony in Lapland. He couldn’t imagine a more magical place to fall in love.

The First Fantasy Suite: Raven does the traditional jump-leg wrap-hello to Nick and they hop aboard a helicopter to creep on some reindeer, while kissing enough to make the helicopter pilot feel like a third wheel in his own helicopter. Raven is kicking herself for not telling Nick that she loved him while they were at her home in Hoxie. (Perhaps they were too busy picking mud out of their earlobes?) Raven has never told anyone she loved them before, so national TV seems like a great place to do it. Nick, who is wearing an itchy looking turtleneck, also has all sorts of feelings for Raven, too, which he will explore in the Fantasy Suite — if she accepts the offer, of course.

After a heartfelt conversation by the hygge-looking fire, Raven tells Nick that she loves him — which she never told her boyfriend of two years. Then Raven accepts the key to the Fantasy Suite. She has one warning for Nick, though — she has never had an orgasm. Nick isn’t quite sure what to say about that, but that statement wasn’t for him it was for her cheating ex-boyfriend. Chalk this round up for Raven! Nick tells her that she’s got him all choked up, but it’s probably just his turtleneck. Nick is up for the challenge and he and Raven and his turtleneck head into the fantasy suite.

After Note: In case you were concerned that Nick didn’t have a job and couldn’t support his turtleneck habit, The Bachelor’s executive producer Mike Fleiss said that he may have finally found a gig that doesn’t involve dating people for money — just dancing with them.

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