Don’t Follow Any of Stephen Colbert’s Advice About How to Cook a Turkey

Americans cook millions of turkeys every year for Thanksgiving, but few people would consider themselves experts in the field, including Stephen Colbert. However, that didn’t stop The Late Show host from masquerading as an expert.

The Late Show host recently joined the folks at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line—decked out in his finest turkey-themed sweater—and took over one of the hotline’s phones to baffle callers. If you called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line last weekend, and the putative expert spoke only in French, suggested you spank the turkey “like a lover,” or warned you to run, because the turkey “was gonna blow,” there’s a good chance you were actually talking to Colbert. Over the course of the videos, the best advice Colbert gave was when he cautioned a caller, “You’ll be fine as long as you don’t take any of my advice.”

Colbert’s phone line prank was a follow-up to a segment he did last year where he pestered the turkey experts with unusual questions, like, “I got a nephew who wants me to make Tofurkey this year. What’s the best way to let him know he’s no longer welcome in my house?”

While it’s too late to talk to Colbert, the experts at 1-800-BUTTERBALL are just a phone call or, better yet, a text away.