--- title: Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu: The Secret to Joy description: How do we find joy in a world filled with suffering? That timeless question drives The Book of Joy canonical: https://time.com/4504000/book-of-joy/ author: Kirsten Salyer article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-09-22T12:44:44.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-02-23T00:45:27.564Z article:section: Ideas og:title: The Secret to Joy, According to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu og:description: Focus on others og:url: https://time.com/4504000/book-of-joy/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt478a4191d8119c61/6988a65e656a3f0cb9bcd201/book-of-joy.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015. og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Secret to Joy, According to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu twitter:description: Focus on others twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt478a4191d8119c61/6988a65e656a3f0cb9bcd201/book-of-joy.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Secret to Joy, According to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu  by [Kirsten Salyer](https://time.com/author/kirsten-salyer/)  ## Kirsten Salyer Sep 22, 2016 12:44 PM UTC  Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015. Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015.Hindustan Times via Getty Images  by [Kirsten Salyer](https://time.com/author/kirsten-salyer/)  ## Kirsten Salyer Sep 22, 2016 12:44 PM UTC How do we find joy in a world filled with suffering? That timeless question drives [_The Book of Joy_](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399185046/?tag=timecom-20), a weeklong conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu woven into a narrative by Douglas Abrams. As the two men reflect on their personal experiences, they impart advice for finding inner joy. The secret? Not thinking too much about yourself. Over the week in Dharamsala, India, they go deep on feelings and philosophy, to the point that Abrams suggests speeding things up. The Dalai Lama remarks that they have time aplenty, and the Archbishop jokes, “You must shorten your answers. I am brief.” Together, they celebrate the Lama’s 80th birthday at the Tibetan Children’s Village with cake and trick candles. And they outline eight pillars of joy, divided by And they outline eight pillars of joy, divided by mind (perspective, humility, humor, acceptance) and heart (forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, generosity). 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