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title: Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu: The Secret to Joy
description: How do we find joy in a world filled with suffering? That timeless question drives The Book of Joy
canonical: https://time.com/4504000/book-of-joy/
author: Kirsten Salyer
article:opinion: true
article:content_tier: free
article:published_time: 2016-09-22T12:44:44.000Z
article:modified_time: 2026-02-23T00:45:27.564Z
article:section: Ideas
og:title: The Secret to Joy, According to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
og:description: Focus on others
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og:image:alt: Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015.
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![](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt478a4191d8119c61/6988a65e656a3f0cb9bcd201/book-of-joy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9)


# The Secret to Joy, According to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

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![Kirsten Salyer](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7b8ce94767752064/69885be7428a9ee3cccce48b/kirsten-salyer-time.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1:1)

by 

[Kirsten Salyer](https://time.com/author/kirsten-salyer/)


![Kirsten Salyer](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7b8ce94767752064/69885be7428a9ee3cccce48b/kirsten-salyer-time.jpg?branch=production&width=96&quality=75&auto=webp)

## Kirsten Salyer


Sep 22, 2016 12:44 PM UTC

![Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015.](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt478a4191d8119c61/6988a65e656a3f0cb9bcd201/book-of-joy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=3:2)

Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015.

Spiritual leader Dalai Lama to blow out candles on his birthday cake as retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu looks on at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharmsala, India, on April 23, 2015. Hindustan Times via Getty Images

![Kirsten Salyer](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7b8ce94767752064/69885be7428a9ee3cccce48b/kirsten-salyer-time.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1:1)

by 

[Kirsten Salyer](https://time.com/author/kirsten-salyer/)


![Kirsten Salyer](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7b8ce94767752064/69885be7428a9ee3cccce48b/kirsten-salyer-time.jpg?branch=production&width=96&quality=75&auto=webp)

## Kirsten Salyer


Sep 22, 2016 12:44 PM UTC

How do we find joy in a world filled with suffering? That timeless question drives [_The Book of Joy_](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399185046/?tag=timecom-20), a weeklong conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu woven into a narrative by Douglas Abrams. As the two men reflect on their personal experiences, they impart advice for finding inner joy. The secret? Not thinking too much about yourself.

Over the week in Dharamsala, India, they go deep on feelings and philosophy, to the point that Abrams suggests speeding things up. The Dalai Lama remarks that they have time aplenty, and the Archbishop jokes, “You must shorten your answers. I am brief.” Together, they celebrate the Lama’s 80th birthday at the Tibetan Children’s Village with cake and trick candles. And they outline eight pillars of joy, divided by

And they outline eight pillars of joy, divided by mind (perspective, humility, humor, acceptance) and heart (forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, generosity). The question may be timeless, but their answer has urgent significance.

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