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‘Bean Heads’: Inside the (Probably Imaginary) World Of Kids Who Smoke Coffee In Cigarettes

2 minute read

In the midst of a lazy Friday news cycle, a Las Vegas ABC affiliate ran a story about a crazy, dangerous, (crazy dangerous, even) new “drug” the kids can’t stop talking about. To get a caffeine fix, teenage scoundrels have reportedly started smoking coffee beans, known as “caffeine sticks” on the street.

Unfortunately KTNV couldn’t scrounge up any “youths” to corroborate that this is actually happening. The “trend” also hasn’t been chronicled on social media, where all the kids go to shamelessly chat about their habits. This was the most ominous Instagram that came up under the search for a #beanhead:

While a viral string of “websites popping up online that will teach kids step-by-step on how to roll their own caffeine stick” appears to be a little overdramatic, there are a few how-to sites, and those that exist are often satirical. Youtube searches for people smoking coffee also didn’t produce ominous results. Top videos included a kid offering coffee flavoring advice to those making homemade toy cigarettes, and a man smoking coffee out of his pipe giving an unimpressed review: “It does not taste the greatest… It hasn’t really done anything for me, I don’t know.”

Even local Las Vegas residents aren’t too worried. “We’re about to legalize marijuana all over the United States,” said an older, unconcerned citizen. “I think we can live with a few bean heads.”

Tell us if we’re wrong, with the proliferation of Five Hour Energy and Aderol, smoking coffee doesn’t seem like a huge concern at the moment. Smoking tea, on the other hand

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