--- title: Black Lives Matter Organizers Tell How You Can Help description: After the police killings of Delrawn Small, Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, a conversation about coping and the effects on communities canonical: https://time.com/4403221/black-lives-matter-help/ author: IDEAS Desk article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-07-12T21:15:40.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:04:27.991Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Black Lives Matter Organizers Tell How You Can Help og:description: Members of the organization reflect on the past week in the black community og:url: https://time.com/4403221/black-lives-matter-help/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Black Lives Matter Organizers Tell How You Can Help twitter:description: Members of the organization reflect on the past week in the black community twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # Black Lives Matter Organizers Tell How You Can Help > Sponsored content. 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Essence deputy managing editor Yolanda Sangweni interviews Black Lives Matter organizers Autumn Marie and Nakisha Lewis, as they discuss the recent shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile._ by [IDEAS Desk](https://time.com/author/ideas-desk/) ## IDEAS Desk Jul 12, 2016 9:15 PM UTC by [IDEAS Desk](https://time.com/author/ideas-desk/) ## IDEAS Desk Jul 12, 2016 9:15 PM UTC _Two organizers in the New York City division of Black Lives Matter, Autumn Marie and Nakisha Lewis, spoke with TIME and ESSENCE on_ [_Facebook Live_](https://www.facebook.com/time/videos/vb.10606591490/10153829325306491/?type=2&theater) _Tuesday about the recent police killings of black men_ [_Delrawn Small_](http://nypost.com/2016/07/08/video-surfaces-of-nypd-cops-road-rage-shooting/)_,_ [_Alton Sterling_](http://time.com/4395459/alton-sterling-baton-rouge-police-shooting/) _and_ [_Philando Castile_](http://time.com/4396256/minnesota-shooting-philando-castile-what-know/)_. They talked about how to cope during the days after the three deaths, how to respond to the counter-refrain of “All Lives Matter,” and how the effects of unfair deaths can ripple out and change how black children see their self-worth. Three main ideas emerged from the discussion:_ **1\. The first reaction should be one of healing.** **LEWIS:** What does it mean to start your day like that and still need to go about your day—to be fully functioning or partially functioning as a human being in the world? I think first and foremost is to allow yourself to be. To actually acknowledge that you are a human being, you are a human spirit, and you are connected to other people. And so when pain is literally oozing through the cracks in our concrete, you are going to feel that. It’s my hope that employers, teachers, folks who are really engaging with people and have the ability to hold space, are allowing folks to be able to emote—whatever that looks like. And folks who are able to continue to create spaces for people to be able show up and express themselves talk about what they’re feeling. If it’s sleep that you need, then get the rest. **MARIE:** There’s the waking up and existing and actually living and going on personally that sometimes can feel like too much. But then on another level there’s also the fact that a lot of people have to go into workplaces and jobs where they’re facing the same sentiment or the same type of people that are hurting us in what we see in the news or that are replicating or perpetuating that, either in the way that we are not acknowledged or in the hurtful ways that we’re acknowledged at work. When mass shootings happen, whether they are in Sandy Hook or in Orlando or in other tragedies such as Dallas, the workplace is talking about it, and there’s a place for that. But when tragedies happen in the black community and with police murders, there’s no talk about it at work. And so what happens is black people go to work, and they’re feeling this, and they’re not in a space necessarily where it’s welcome to talk about it. But not only that, but your boss is then like: “Hey, what about these deliverables? What about this?” And you’re being hit with that, and there’s no room to say: “Hey, how are you?” But when these other tragedies happen, there’s space at work where people say: “Oh my gosh, how are you today?” And so, even just realizing that, and that people are going through that, there are no counselors brought in. When things happen at schools at mass shootings, there’s a day of counseling. And I really look for the day when society can move toward that and be able to offer that in the workplace as well. On Friday, I had to take time. I took real time to unplug for as long as I could or to partially unplug and just cry. **2\. “All Lives Matter” is the wrong approach.** **MARIE:** All lives will matter when black lives matter. It’s interesting: whenever women assert ourselves, that we matter or we rock, or we assert that black people matter or any other group that is against the status quo of white male heterosexual patriarchy, the first thing we hear is: “This is wrong. This is racist.” or “This is against this.” No. The standard is against us. Which is why we have to say it. There are clear facts. There are clear numbers. When we look at the court systems both from the standing laws as well as the prosecution and lack of accountability around black murders in this country, and the process that tell us that black lives do not matter, according to the system that is set up and the institutions that are set up and the legislation that is set up, the fact that that is a threat \[to which\] people need to respond, it clearly brings up for us, and it clearly illustrates those people who actually do have issues with their own internal white supremacy and their own white privilege, because that’s what’s really speaking. And it’s the fear that this is going to threaten your white privilege for black people to actually matter. **LEWIS:** As a queer woman of color, as a queer black person in this country, I have looked at all these different struggles for humanity, right? For the people who live at the intersection of multiple oppressed identities. And so the first thing that came to mind for me when I first started getting hit with this All Lives Matter versus Black Lives Matter conversation was: “Hm, wasn’t it just a few years ago that queer people were fighting for marriage equality?” And so many straight folks were like: “This is an attack on marriage.” “This is queer folks trying to shift how we understand marriage and therefore dismantle the sacredness of this institution.” We, as an American people, got very clear that that was their own hatred speaking. They were feeling as if there was a threat to their humanity. When in actuality, someone getting married to someone of the same gender does not in any way impact your union. I promise you. Their union does not impact their union. And so in that same manner, I would really love for people to pause for a second and think: “Does it really mean that my life doesn’t matter if I am not a black person because black people are getting that they matter and are speaking that?” Because affirmations matter. Just like human lives matter, affirmations matter. Affirmations matter not only to those of us who are adults and can really understand the nuance and the history on which this work builds, but also for our children. I think about the young people who growing up in this time—so this 4-year-old who just witnessed one of the adults in her life be murdered probably does have real questions about her mattering, probably does have real questions about the mattering of the people in her family when her mom sat there in handcuffs after doing nothing wrong. Even if she can’t even process what has fully occurred here, there’s something that means: we’re a little bit different than these other folks. I want our children to be very clear. I want our communities to be very clear. And I want us to be reminded if at any point in the conversation, we’ve lost stake in who we are as a people, then allow this to be a moment for us where we get that we matter, and those that may not ever have been in the same place with us or who themselves have forgotten that black people are indeed human beings and worthy of dignity and respect, that they, too, get to be reminded. **3\. We must create a positive example for children.** **MARIE:** Every time a black person is killed and nothing is done about it or there are no repercussions, rather, that come out of it, or whenever children are witnessing this in their family as well and just seeing that trauma, they are being told: “Black lives do not matter.” You have to realize that in the same way that we talk about all the other things with our children in terms of internalizing these things and taking them on—they take on what they see in the media, they take on what they see. When you see numbers going up in Chicago, look at what’s going on in that same year with black people getting murdered. If we live in a society that reaffirms our life, reaffirms our dignity, it is that much easier for our children to reaffirm that and look at each other differently. But if you’re constantly telling them by your laws, by your actions, by your lack of accountability, by the disparity in resources and love that they see in their community and things that are given to their community and provided there by the disparities in education, then you’re constantly sending them a message. They are not only internalizing that but also reflecting that back to the black people around them. ## Transcript Hi, everyone I'm Yolanda Sangweni rom Essence Magazine doing this collaboration here today with Time Magazine and we want to spend the next couple of minutes sort of going through the emotions and solutions To what's happening in the headlines with the shootings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. And so, to join me in the conversation and also talking about what's next is Autumn Marie from Black Lives Matter, New York chapter and also Lakeisha Lewis, also an organizer with Black Lives Matter, New York chapter. So I'm gonna get right to it and just talk about, first of all, where were you when you heard or saw the videos of Alton? I think that was on Tuesday, right? Mm- hm. Well I honestly avoided seeing the video of Alton just because out of emotional wellbeing and it being So much of watching video after video after video so I've waited it for awhile, I just watched it a couple of days ago but I've avoided it when the message is came down, I don't remember where I was but I remember getting them from people and black love is matter saying that this is happened Because just 24 hours beforehand, Delrawn Small had just been murdered in Brooklyn by an off- duty police officer. It was like, okay wow, another one in Austin happened. Then the 24 hours feeling that again, and each time a bigger. Well I did watch Well I did watch the Filando one, I watched a piece of it with Diamond when she was recording and just I don't know words to describe just the feelings of it except just being feeling just wow this woman is so strong that she in calmness she thought That clearly and out of love made sure that this story was going to be told. Yeah I think that's definitely what it was for me, I didn't up until, it wasn't until Hilando Castille's murder that I went back and watched the video. Of Alton Sterling. And I remember I had a long day at work. And so I kind of just passed out, right, on Tuesday evening. And so I was waking up to all of the news about Philando Castile on my social media. And I wasn't sure what was happening. And so that's why I went and watched the video. And so it was when I listened. And I was literally laying in bed and I was like wait what's going on cuz the camera kinda goes black, and I thought my phone was being weird. And then I kept hearing this woman talking, and then I think the piece that actually broke me Was getting to the end of the video, and this little girl is saying, mommy, it's okay, I'm right here with you. Thinking about now the subsequent three days of murders of black men and then these women who were also inculcated in this. Yeah. And so we are really- Children. Right, women and children and so we're talking about the death of these men, but we're also talking about the trauma inflicted and the pain that's also inflicted on these families right? So, whole families, and that's what was sitting with me as I was waking up was, wow what now of these families? What now for these families? And literally witnessing the death in both Delrawn's case- And in Philando's case, like literally seeing it and not being able to physically or medically intervene and the children that are gonna walk through life with that at five months old in [ UNKNOWN ] Case and at- Four years old. Four years old. And for even a five month old baby, what is that trauma that they're going to carry, and not even know what that is years later? And also, just thinking of what is the trauma of our own children, the next time, now that they've seen this from young children, to even our preteens and teenagers, and the next time they're in the car with their parents, and their parents are pulled over by the police, What is gonna physically happen in their bodies and their emotions even when they are not intentionally trying to go there because of what they've seen with other children in a car. Have even told them they've seen, because I know some parents are not allowing their children to see it, but- Mm- hm. it's hard not to see it. Mm- hm. I thought about how watching the videos. Someone tagged me on the Philando video and it was like six in the morning and I was just going through my social feed and I watched it. And once I started watching I couldn't stop, but I had told myself, I don't wanna watch this, but I didn't, I kept watching. And then the physical reaction that you have, there's the mental and your heart breaking but there's this Physical thing that happens when you witness. Right. Because we're essentially witnessing murder. Right? Right. So it's a very difficult thing to be like, I'm just going to go about my day. Yeah. Nothing happened. And it really affects you. How do we. What ways. Because you two are in more movements than most of us. You are out there. Protests you're organizing. How do you, I don't wanna say, how do you save your just sort of spiritual, mental being and move through doing this work? Well I think I have the same feeling as you Ray. So what does it mean to start your day like that and then still need to go about the day, to be Fully functioning or partially functioning as a human being in the world. I think first and foremost is to allow yourself to be. Right? So actually acknowledge that you are a human being. You are a human spirit and you are connected to other people. And so when pain is literally oozing through their cracks It's in our concrete, you are gonna feel that. And it's my hope that employers, that teachers, folks who are really engaging with people, and have the ability to hold space, are allowing folks to be able to emote. Whatever that looks like. And then I think Autumn is amazing and did some healing work with us this weekend. And so for folks who are able to continue to create spaces for people to be able to show up and just express themselves, talk about what they're feeling. If it's sleep that you need, then get the sleep, get the rest. I think about In those days when we were literally witnessing this trauma the first thing that came to mind for me was to remind folks to hydrate and to get rest. Right. To literally pause if you need to pause. That means, telling your employer I need to take a break and go step outside. Breathe some fresh air. Continue to drink water because as our bodies are reacting, we wanna make sure that we're preserving ourselves alive. If nothing else, our living in itself is an act of resistance. Mm- hm. Yeah. And it's not just. So there's the waking up and existing and actually living and going on personally that sometimes can feel like too much. But then on another level there's also the fact that a lot of people have to go into work places and jobs where they're facing the same sentiment. Or the same type of people that are hurting us and what we see on the news. Or that are replicating or perpetuating that, either in the way that we are not acknowledged or in the hurtful ways that we're acknowledged at work. And When mass shootings happen whether they are in Sandy Hook or in Orlando or when other tragedies such as Dallas happen, the workplace is talking about it and there's a place for that. But when tragedies happen in the black community and with police murders, there's no talk about it at work. And so then, also what happens is that black people go to work And they're feeling this and they're not in a place necessarily where it's welcome to talk about it. But not only that but your boss then like, hey what about these deliverables, what about this, and you're being hit with that and there's no room to say, hey how are you? But when these other tragedies happen there's space at work where people say, my gosh how are you today? And so Even just realizing that, and that people are going through that. There's no counselors brought in. When things happen at schools with mass shootings, there's a day of counseling. And I really look for the day when our society can move towards that, and be able to offer that in workplace, as well. As far as for personal, it's really community that holds me down. Being able to find out about these things through members of Black Lives Matters and on our internal chains of communication, versus just social media. And being able to have that space where it's beautiful to be able to vent to people who understand, to be able to cry. And I have to remind, because a lot of times when stuff happens I just jump into do, do, do, do, do, do. How do we respond? How do we get our stories out? On Friday, I had to take time. I took real time to unplug for as long as I could, or to partially unplug and just cry, and to take that time. So I really urge people to take that time. Don't keep going Going, keep breathing, when you need to take that walk. Several people called me from their jobs on Friday who couldn't take it any longer, who walked out of their jobs, at least for a short time to cry or just to figure out how to breathe. Yeah, how do you, I saw that Rudy Giuliani, this week, I think said Black Lives Matter is Racist. We're also dealing with a huge amount of people telling us that all lives matter, although I don't remember any black lives matter organizer, or anybody saying all lives don't matter. I do want to talk about all lives matter concept and Trying to understand, even as a black woman, just trying to understand why black people can't assert that, hey reminder like we matter just as anyone else. But us saying that doesn't mean that were saying no one else matters. How do you respond to that All Lives Matter movement? Our lives will matter when black lives matter. It's interesting whenever women assert ourselves that we matter or we rock or we assert that black people matter or any other group right. That is against the status quo of white male patriarchy in this country. And white male heterosexual patriarchy, the first thing that we hear is that this is wrong. It's racist or it's against this. No, the standard is against this, which is why we have to say it. There are clear facts. There are clear numbers. When we look at the court systems from both the standing laws as well as the prosecution and the lack of accountability around black murders in this country And the process that tell us that black lives do not matter according to the system that is set- up and the institutions that are set- up, the legislation that is set- up. So the fact that that is a threat that people need to respond, it clearly brings up for us, and clearly illustrates those people who actually. Do have issues with their own internal white supremacists and their own white privilege because that's what's really speaking and it's the fear that this is gonna threaten you're white privilege for black people to actually matter. Right, I think about so as a **** woman of color, as a **** black person in this country I've looked at all these different struggles for humanity for the people who live at the intersection of multiple suppressed identities. And so the first thing that came to mind for me when I started getting hit with this All Lives Matter versus Black Lives Matter Conversation was, hm, wasn't it just a few years ago, that **** people were fighting for marriage equality Yeah. Right. And so many straight folks were like, this is an attack on marriage, right? This is This is **** folks trying to shift how we understand marriage and therefore dismantling the sacredness of this institution. And we I think as American people got very clear that that was their own hatred speaking . >> Yeah . >> Right. That was as Autumn said, that they were feeling there was a threat to their humanity. Right, when in actuality, someone getting married, right, to someone of the same gender, does not in any way impact your union. I promise you, their union doesn't impact your union. So in that same manner I would really love for people to pause for a second and to think. Does it really mean that my life doesn't matter if I am not a black person. Because black people are getting that they matter and are speak. Thinking that, because affirmations matter, right? So just like human lives matter, affirmations not only matter to those who are adults and can really understand the nuance and the history Upon which this work builds but also for our children, right? I think about our young people who are growing up in this time, right? So this four year old, right, who just witnessed one of the adults in her life be murdered. Probably does have real questions about her mattering. Probably does have real questions about the mattering of the people in her family when her mom sat in there in handcuffs, right? I think it's really [ CROSSTALK ] Nothing wrong. After doing nothing wrong, right. So even if she can't even process like, what has fully occurred here, there's something that means that we're a little bit different than these other folks, right? So I want our children to be very clear, I want our communities to be very clear, and I want us to be reminded, if at any [ INAUDIBLE ] At any point in the conversation we have like lost taken who we are as their people than allow this to be this moment for us where we get that we matter. And that those who have may not ever have been in the same place with us Or who have themselves have forgotten that black people that are indeed human beings and worthy of dignity and respect that they too get to be reminded. I think what baffles me is that the idea that, if you're telling me you're an allay and I'm telling you, I am hurting. I am in pain. Why is it difficult for you to acknowledge that I hear that you're in pain. I will find a way to help. Let me, with my privilege, no matter how little my privilege is. I am able to help you. Because I understand. I acknowledge your pain. And I feel like there's so much in America of Black pain does not matter and that's how we have moved for so long. And it's just us asking, not asking, we're just asserting. Right. Our lives matter, our pain matters, our children matter. And that's not a difficult thing to assert. The only time people wanted, I feel like the only time people want to talk about black lives matter is When it's convenient, when it is time for people to counter that and talk about black on black crime. So now black lives matter because you want to bring it in, because it's a convenient argument again to counter us or Or when it's other right wing that wanna talk about our choices around how we raise children or anything else, all of a sudden it matters, but when it's around us just being able to have the human right to literally live, we have black people being killed every day, three days in a row, The system's not telling us we matter. And even with the idea of black on black crime, and to make sure that we address that because people like to bring that- It's an easy thing to throw around. [ UNKNOWN ] bring it up and people don't talk about white on white crime. And really it's who lives in your demographic, geographical area. What are the demographics there? When you look at a white neighborhood, you have crime. And guess what? It's white on white crime But there is no context for it because it's just seen as crime. But because of that long histories since the beginning since we've been here criminalizing black people and everything we do there's a term and there's a labor. There's no term for white and white crime, it's just called crime [ UNKNOWN ] So that's part of it and also I need people to realize everytime a black person is killed and nothing is done about it or there are no repercussion rather that come out of it. Whereas Nikesha said also whenever children are witnessing this in their family as well And just seeing that trauma, they are being told black lives do not matter. And so you have to realize that in the same way that we talk about all the other things that our children internalizing these things and taking them on, they take on what they see in the media. They take on what they see. So when you see Numbers and I'm originally from Chicago. When you see numbers of the murder rate going up in Chicago, look at what's going on in that same year in the news with black people being murdered. We live in a society that reaffirms our life, reaffirms our dignity. It is that much easier for our children to also reaffirm it and to look at each other differently. But if you're constantly Telling them by your laws, by your actions, by your lack of accountability. By the disparity in resources and love that they see in their community, and things that are given to their community. And provide it there by the disparities in education. Then you're constantly sending them a message and so they are not only internalizing that but also reflecting that back to the people around them, the black people around them. Yeah. What do we do now? Yeah. What do we do? Some of if we're not in Some people may not want to go to a march. Mm- hm. They may not want to be. There are still people who don't want, they want to be allies. They want to help, but they don't want to necessarily be on social media writing about it. What do we do? What solutions? How can other people help this movement? Yes, I think I wanna be very clear that this is our movement, right. And we are literally co creating it in this moment. Sort of building the plane as we fly it. And it's crucial that all hands come on deck So that we can get to where we need to go. And so if protesting, if marching is not your thing, then okay. We are in the midst of an intense election cycle. So, if voting is your thing then be very clear that your vote matters and it counts. If you are someone who can vote, if you are an undocumented person, you have the ability to impact other people who can vote. So it's important that they vote for you if voting is your thing. Let's be clear, I'm not just talking about a Presidential election, I'm also talking about our very local elections. So we wanna make sure that we're looking at our Gubernatorial races. We've got this law that I think the Governor of North Carolina is moving forward that means that we won't be able to see police footage from their body cams and their dash cams. So we want to be very woke in this moment and really make sure that we're doing some voter education. Or even just informing folks in our community of what's at stake, right? I mean down to the very local level of like School boards, so we can be engaged in conversations. In some places, like where I'm originally from in Boston, the school committee or the school board is appointed and not elected. There's other ways to be engaged and having influence, and making sure that black students are protected and black students are okay. Cuz this struggle, it transcends- In many ways. A number of different issues. [ INAUDIBLE ] and it's far beyond just police brutality and the extrajudicial killings of black people. I want folks to get that if your piece in this work is as a healer and you can show to love on folks than do that you talked about being an ally. Darnell Morris said some time ago, when we first started organizing together, that I think we're beyond the time of allies. We're actually in the place where we need accomplices. People who are really gonna go down in this work with us, right? That sent chills down my back. Yeah. [ CROSSTALK ] Yes, yes. Think about it, right? Need accomplices. When you understand what it really is to be an accomplice. Yeah. Right in the world, then we need accomplices to show up in this work. So non- black people of color, get your people. White folks, get your people. I think there's also, I'm a philanthropic strategist. I've been in the field of philanthropy formally for just under ten years. So I'm always thinking about how are we going to sustain the movement. Because we know that this moment in time that we're in is not brand new. Right. This work that we're doing is built on a legacy of work. So there's so many who came before us and there are so many who will come after us, unless we win right now. So this journey is going to be, we're [ UNKNOWN ] for the long haul. So we're gonna need resources in order to be in it for the long haul. So I want folks to consider themselves freedom funders, right. So you don't have to be on the street with us, but if you've got resources to move, or if you have the ability to move resources, I'm talking fiscal resources Move to the money, right. The movement gets to be funded. So there are numbers of which people can enter and I want them all to be able to embrace that this is your movement too. It it is freedom that you're truly looking for. Yeah. So you hear that freedom funders. [ LAUGH ] Yes. Yes. Yes. Any last thoughts? There are so many roads to get to one place. It's not about just taking one road, one direction. One of the beautiful things about Black Lives Matter and so many of the movements that are happening right now, being none hierarchical and being leaderful and being autonomous is that there is space for what people want to do. As long as it reaffirms that love, the dignity, the respect, the justice, the human rights of black people in this country and globally, and all black people. Because we are up against so many fronts. And so a lot of times we wanna think about just focusing on this one thing. But as Nicki just said everything is happening at one time. We don't get a break as black folks. We don't get a break as black women, as It's clear black and we there's no breaks that happen. And because the system is, there's so many different forms of oppression that we're dealing with everyday. So this may not be your one thing to get in the street about, but that thing that you are passionate about with our freedom, with our justice, do it and I urge people Move from you space of comfort of how you do it, I do believe there is space for everyone. So you might be active on social media and you are helping to spread that and get that out and that's fine and someone else maybe active in this other way. Take care of yourself and be where you need to be, but also urge yourself to move from your place of comfort. I also urge people to sustain, this days you are not only important On, when we see a video that is so shocking because when they're only important when they're shocking, it means the next time a tragedy happens it has to be that much more awe and shock for it to matter. So we have to do away with that. And we have to stop only having these conversations, for the people that sit behind a desk every day and only join in at that time, to really join in Every day because every day you're going through and every day you feel it. And it's okay to speak up about that, when there is not a large tragedy going on. Because your everyday life and everyday struggles matter just as much to us. Wonderful. Thank you so much. So I'm walking away And I hope you are walking away knowing that change begins with you. And what you can do, start where you are and don't think that I'm going to go from my desk to being a black lives matter organizer . >> [ LAUGH ] You know. It can begin with a small Small steps, I think. It doesn't have to be this major undertaking, but I think it's really important what you said. It starts with your being involved in your community, moving from that space, and really just thinking about community building all the time. So thank you so much for joining us. And thank you, Autumn. 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