Alicia Quarles: Diem Brown Taught Me to Advocate for My Health

From the time Diem Brown and I met 16 years ago while we were both interning for CBS, we were inseparable. We were not just friends; we were like sisters. In fact, Diem eventually moved in with my sister and me during that summer internship in New York City. She and I would go on to be roommates again in Los Angeles after we graduated college. We spent countless days chasing our dreams of being journalists, dressing up and dancing, plus celebrating the milestones in our lives, including our birthdays.

Diem would have been 36 on June 12. This year, just like last year, Diem and I didn’t get to enjoy her birthday together. Instead, I spent it thinking about all of our good times: Christmas celebrations; my wedding, where she served as a bridesmaid; and memories of sharing secrets as only best friends can.

Diem was 34 years old when she passed away from cancer. Cancer attacked her body, but it was no match for her spirit and could not diminish Diem’s commitment to being a patient advocate. She raised awareness about cancer prevention, early detection and patient rights so that no woman would ever have to endure what she did.

Diem was otherworldly. She endured cancer three times. Diem was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which is one of the deadliest types, when she was 23.

She found out she had cancer because she was dogged about being proactive with her health. One of the signs of ovarian cancer is bloating in the stomach. Diem was always incredibly fit, but suddenly, as if overnight, her stomach became huge. We ran off the checklist: she wasn’t pregnant, not allergic to anything and hadn’t gained weight anywhere else.

Doctor after doctor kept misdiagnosing her or telling Diem she was fine. Diem didn’t listen to the doctors and instead listened to her body, seeking answers until she finally received the correct diagnosis. Diem fought hard, and eventually we celebrated her five-year remission mark, only to find out in 2012 that her cancer had returned. She eventually beat this second round of cancer and got a clean bill of health. As Diem started to move on with her life, cancer returned for a third time . . . this time attacking her stomach and colon.

Even during her darkest hours, Diem was a beacon of light for so many of us. She fearlessly and bluntly blogged about her experience for People.com. No matter how difficult it was for her to share all of the details of the sometimes gory, depressing and difficult days of living with cancer, Diem never backed away from telling her truth. She did this because she wanted to save lives. Diem wasn’t afraid to talk about what most people wouldn’t.

Losing Diem has been the worst pain I have ever endured. Many times, I feel like one half of me is gone. I promised Diem I would live the best life possible for both of us. I promised her I would be Diem Strong. What does that mean? It means you never give up. It means being proactive about my health: Asking my doctors the difficult questions, working out, getting rest and listening to my body.

It means not taking this life for granted, and it means carrying on her legacy of being a patient advocate. So many of Diem’s friends and family are also carrying on her legacy by raising awareness about ovarian cancer, early detection and prevention. Diem is the reason I started working with Bright Pink, an organization dedicated to educating young women about breast and ovarian cancer.

Read more: What Hillary Clinton’s Nomination Means for Women’s Health

My belated birthday gift to Diem is this article. One of her greatest wishes was for women to learn about the importance of taking care of our bodies and educating ourselves about our health, plus being persistent about asking questions of our doctors.

Diem was one of the kindest, purest, happiest, most loyal, beautiful souls I have ever known. It’s not only my duty, but it is my greatest honor to be a part of carrying on her legacy.

Diem strong.

Alicia Quarles is an award-winning journalist who currently works for CBS’ The Insider and for Fandango. Prior to that, Quarles was the Global Entertainment Editor for the Associated Press and a correspondent for E News. She also serves on the board of directors for Bright Pink.