--- title: What Makes Life Worth Living in the Face of Death description: Advice from a neurosurgeon who had to face his own mortality canonical: https://time.com/4244963/life-advice-death/ author: Shane Parrish article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-03-07T13:00:20.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:03:16.424Z article:section: Ideas og:title: What Makes Life Worth Living in the Face of Death og:description: Advice from a neurosurgeon who had to face his own mortality og:url: https://time.com/4244963/life-advice-death/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdc31de6178e7770a/69887febcf40a826d2c423ca/sunrise-sunset.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5616 og:image:height: 3159 og:image:alt: sunrise-sunset og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What Makes Life Worth Living in the Face of Death twitter:description: Advice from a neurosurgeon who had to face his own mortality twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdc31de6178e7770a/69887febcf40a826d2c423ca/sunrise-sunset.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # This Is What Makes Life Worth Living in the Face of Death > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=75203d05-792b-4ad7-886e-0c4ec8dd0aaa&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Misty Copeland On Changing the Face of Ballet [Watch (HLS stream): Misty Copeland On Changing the Face of Ballet](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/hwcdTt33.m3u8) (2:34)  _Published 2015-04-16. "I never thought I could make a career out of something I enjoyed doing something I was passionate about, something that gave me a voice," says Copeland, who is one of the first African Americans to be a soloist with American Ballet Theatre._ by [Shane Parrish](https://time.com/author/shane-parrish/) ## Shane Parrish Mar 7, 2016 1:00 PM UTC  Sunset Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Getty Images by [Shane Parrish](https://time.com/author/shane-parrish/) ## Shane Parrish Mar 7, 2016 1:00 PM UTC **Dr. Paul Kalanithi** was 36 years old and in his final year as a neurosurgical resident when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His beautifully written memoir, [_When Breath Becomes Air_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081298840X/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fsp%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=081298840X&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=G5T65ZZIMVCUV7FR), published posthumously, chronicles his lifelong quest to learn what gives life meaning. Kalanithi’s wife Lucy, also a doctor, explains in the epilogue why he chose to write about his experience. --- > “” --- In a letter to a friend, he writes, “That’s what I’m aiming for, I think. Not the sensationalism of dying, and not exhortations to gather rosebuds, but: Here’s what lies up ahead on the road.” In When Breath Becomes Air, Kalanithi shares his journey along that road as he transitions from doctor to patient and comes face-to-face with his own mortality. ## As a student Before studying medicine at Yale, Kalanithi had earned a BA and an MA in English literature, a BA in biology and an MPhil in the history and philosophy of science and medicine. He was interested in discovering where “biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect”. --- > “” --- After years of theoretical discussions about mortality and the meaning of life, he came to the conclusion that “direct experience of life-and-death questions was essential to generating substantial moral opinions about them”. And so, he chose to study medicine. ## As a physician In [_Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0805095152/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fsp%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0805095152&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=HZBJU4VU7U4HKL3J), Dr. Atul Gawande, [calls for change](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2014/10/atul-gawande-being-mortal/) in the way medical professionals deal with illness. While medical science has given us the ability to extend life, it does not ask – or answer – the question of when life still has meaning. --- > “” --- As a neurosurgical resident, Kalanithi was well aware of this paradox and the interplay between our medical choices and the things that give our lives meaning. --- > “” --- Both Gawande and Kalanithi help us recognize that knowing what we – and our loved ones – value in life will inform the choices we make about death when that time comes. ## As a patient What happens to your identity and sense of purpose when your plan for the next 40 years is suddenly wiped off the table? --- > “” --- After the diagnosis, Kalanithi was forced to re-evaluate what was most valuable to him. --- > “” --- The old adage to ‘live each day as if it were your last’ loses strength under scrutiny. What gives our lives meaning on any given day depends to some extent on how imminent we believe death is. --- > “” --- In searching for solace, Kalanithi returned to his love of literature. --- > “” --- In one of the most profound passages of the book, Lucy and Paul discuss whether to have a child, “Don’t you think saying goodbye to your child will make your death more painful?” she asks, and he responds, simply, “Wouldn’t it be great if it did?” Kalanithi comes to believe that life is about striving, not about avoiding suffering. --- > “” --- He leaves behind this impassioned message for his daughter, Cady, eight months old at the time of his death. --- > “” --- [_When Breath Becomes Air_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081298840X/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fsp%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=081298840X&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=JAESMDFJUFJ6VTCZ), paired with [_Being Mortal_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0805095152/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fsp%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0805095152&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=HZBJU4VU7U4HKL3J), will get you thinking about what matters in your life and about ‘what lies up ahead on the road’. **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Farnam Street_**](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2016/02/paul-kalanithi-when-breath-becomes-air/)**_._** _You do want to get smarter, don’t you? Connect with Farnam Street on_ [_Facebook_](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/fbtime) _and_ [_Twitter_](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/ttime) _for more insight._ **Join over 70,000+ readers and get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://www.farnamstreetblog.com/newsletter/) ## Transcript [00:00] [ MUSIC ] [00:08] The [00:17] way that dance came into my life was very unexpected. [00:20] I [00:23] was 13 years old living in a motel with my single [00:26] parent, my mother, and five of my siblings. I [00:31] never thought I could make a career out of something I [00:33] enjoyed doing, something I was passionate about, [00:35] something that gave me a voice. There's [00:39] just been a, a whole slew of African- American -. [00:42] Women who have just really pushed me and motivated [00:46] me during those times that I didn't know if I could do [00:49] it. Raven Wilkinson, one of the first African American [00:52] ballerinas to dance in a major ballet company. It's [00:56] important for me to set an example of what a [01:01] healthy image is. What a ballerina can be. That [01:05] she doesn't have to be a white woman, [01:09] that's rail thin [ LAUGH ]. That she can, she can look [01:13] like the world and I think that's what American Ballet [01:16] Theater also helps to represent is what American's [01:19] look like, and that dreams are possible [01:23] here and that you really can. Push yourself to become [01:27] anything with the right work ethic and support around [01:30] you. [ MUSIC ] I [01:38] hope to see more diversity on the stage when I'm 60 [01:41] years old. Watching in the audience. I hope the [01:44] audience is more diverse. I think that's why people go [01:47] to see performances. They want to see something [01:50] beautiful but they also want to seem themselves up [01:52] there. They want to be able to dream of what maybe [01:55] they dream about doing. You know, going up there [01:58] and dancing but it's hard to envision that when. And [02:00] you don't see yourself represented up there. I would [02:03] want a younger child looking [02:07] at me on the cover, to see themselves. To see endless [02:11] opportunities, to see possibilities that maybe [02:15] they never even thought were something that they [02:18] could attain. I want them to be able to see. Treams [02:20] through me. 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