--- title: The 7-Step Evening Ritual That Will Make You Happy description: Plan something to look forward to. canonical: https://time.com/4225711/happy-evening-ritual/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-02-17T13:00:47.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:49:22.728Z article:section: Ideas og:title: The 7-Step Evening Ritual That Will Make You Happy og:description: Plan something to look forward to og:url: https://time.com/4225711/happy-evening-ritual/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt42fc9e88e9347229/69887dc38e0601b151464a04/night-reading-lamp.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 3661 og:image:height: 2059 og:image:alt: night-reading-lamp og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The 7-Step Evening Ritual That Will Make You Happy twitter:description: Plan something to look forward to twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt42fc9e88e9347229/69887dc38e0601b151464a04/night-reading-lamp.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The 7-Step Evening Ritual That Will Make You Happy > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=3d953bcc-4bb6-4018-b3aa-c5fd6605afef&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Diane von Furstenberg on the Most Important Relationships in Her Life [Watch (HLS stream): Diane von Furstenberg on the Most Important Relationships in Her Life](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/khZcaYPz.m3u8) (3:21)  _Published 2015-04-16. “When I was growing up, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be. I wanted to be glamorous, I wanted to be independent, and I wanted to be driving my own bus,” says the iconic fashion designer._ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Feb 17, 2016 1:00 PM UTC  Light of a small reading lamp in the night Light of a small reading lamp in the night Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Feb 17, 2016 1:00 PM UTC Everybody talks about morning rituals to get the day started right. ([Even I have](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/01/morning-ritual/).) But _ending_ the day right can be even more important. Why? Because your mind ain’t perfect when it comes to happiness. It _cheats_. Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize winner and author of [_Thinking, Fast and Slow_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0374275637/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0374275637), has shown that your brain really remembers only two things about an event: 1. The emotional peak 2. The end Via [_The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060005696/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0060005696&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- If your brain is gonna cheat, you should cheat back. Let’s game the system. If you structure your days so that the peak is awesome and the ending is awesome you’ll fool your imperfect noggin into a happier life. How? I am so very happy you asked. Let’s get to it… ## 1) Have a “Shutdown Ritual” Workday is over. But your mind is still going and going and going. You gotta get your brain out of “work mode” to relax. A simple ritual can help. Have a consistent little routine that let’s your overactive brain know “we’re done.” From [_Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00X47ZVXM/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00X47ZVXM&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=ZQ5WCSSMJVXOFBGL): --- > “” --- Bestselling author [Dan Pink](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594484805/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594484805&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=EON74HKDYY4QBVCK) [gives similar advice](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/08/work-smarter-not-harder/): --- > “” --- Research shows writing down what you need to do the next day [relieves anxiety and helps you enjoy your evening](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/10/how-can-you-stop-worrying-about-projects-at-w/). (To learn the six things the most productive people do every day, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/most-productive-people/).) Now you’re out of “work mode.” You want to get happy, right? Wouldn’t it be great if every day was a Saturday? Impossible? Wrong, dear reader… ## 2) Turn Weeknights Into Weekends First let’s ask: why are weekends so great? [Research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/how-can-you-make-your-weekends-more-awesome/) says the big reason is more time with friends and family: --- > “” --- So don’t just sit on the couch by yourself when you get home. Spend 2 hours with friends or family and you just turned a dull Tuesday night into a happy Saturday. (To learn how to make your weekends more awesome, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/how-can-you-make-your-weekends-more-awesome/).) Okay, you can’t go out and see friends every weeknight. What else makes evenings more enjoyable? ## 3) Mastery, Not TV [Research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/how-can-you-make-your-weekends-more-awesome/) shows that “mastery experiences” are also key to helping people recover from the workweek. So what’s that mean? _Doing stuff you’re good at and trying to get better._ Actively engage in a hobby, [don’t passively](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/01/how-to-get-more-energy/) sit on the couch. Most of us seek unscheduled free time for our leisure but given your brain’s lazy nature, research says [you’re likely to waste that time doing what’s easy vs what’s really fun](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/12/happy/). Via [_Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001V6P12E/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001V6P12E&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (To learn what Harvard research says is the secret to being happier and more successful, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/).) Okay, you’re actively engaging in a hobby. But your brain does not have an easy “off” switch. If you want a good night’s snooze you need a ritual that helps you wind down and lets your mind know it’s sleepy time… ## 4) Wind Down, Don’t Collapse Dim the lights and turn off all screens at least an hour before bed. You wouldn’t walk around in bright daylight before trying to sleep for eight hours, would you? Well, when you stare at screens late at night, that’s pretty much what you’re doing. When I talked to [Richard Wiseman](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/06/get-better-sleep/), professor of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire and bestselling author of [_Night School: Wake up to the power of sleep_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IW3UI7C/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00IW3UI7C&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=FDM2FFQCL2ANHXLF), he said: --- > “” --- (For more on how to get an amazing night’s sleep, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/06/get-better-sleep/).) So no screens. And if you want to maintain a happy relationship, what should you _never_ do before bedtime? ## 5) Don’t Go To Bed Angry With Your Partner [Karl Pillemer](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/karl-pillemer-most-important-life-lessons-older-people/) of Cornell University interviewed nearly 1500 people age 70 to 100+ for his book [_30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452298482/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0452298482&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20). What did they recommend most often for a happy relationship? Via [_30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452298482/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0452298482&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Why might this be so powerful? Via [_30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452298482/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0452298482&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Not going to bed angry doesn’t mean “stay up and fight.” Just let it go. Kiss and make up. (To learn the four most common relationship problems — and how to fix them, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/relationship-problems/).) And it’s probably no surprise that the single most proven method for increasing happiness is something best done before bed. Here it is… ## 6) Write Down The Good Stuff That Happened I’ve mentioned this a bunch in the past. But if you’re still not doing it, you need to start. This is all you have to do: * Put a notepad and pen by the bed. * Before you go to sleep each night, write down three things that happened that day which you’re thankful for. * Then write a sentence about why each happened. This technique has been proven [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/was-grandmom-right-about-counting-your-blessi) and [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-are-quick-little-things-you-can-do-to-in) and [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-any-of-this-make-yourself-happier-stuff). Here it is, explained by its originator, University of Pennsylvania professor Martin Seligman. Via [_Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439190763/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439190763): --- > “” --- [Research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/03/key-to-happiness/) shows the more you think about happy things the happier you’ll be. Simple but true. So reminders are powerful. (To learn how to make your life better by sending 5 simple emails, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/make-your-life-better/).) Now your brain may cheat when it comes to happiness but it can also be your best ally. Sometimes dreams are far better than reality. How can you use that to your advantage? ## 7) Schedule Something To Look Forward To Studies show anticipation can actually be _more_ enjoyable than getting the thing you’re anticipating. From [_The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594204373/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594204373&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- People who devote time to anticipating fun experiences are happier. From Shawn Achor’s [_The Happiness Advantage_:](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307591549) --- > “” --- Schedule a meal with a friend or designate a time the next day to indulge yourself with something simple that you love to do. Then be excited about it. That’s all it takes. (To learn the four rituals neuroscience says will make you happier, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/09/make-you-happy-2/).) Okay, let’s round all this up and learn the easiest way to get started… ## Sum Up Here’s your new evening ritual for happiness: * **Have a “shutdown ritual.”** Write down worries and make a plan for tomorrow. Work is over. * **Turn weeknights into weekends.** Weekends are happier because of time with friends. So see friends. Not hard. * **Mastery, not TV.** Hobbies make you happier. Spend nights getting awesome at something. * **Wind down, don’t collapse.** No screens. No coffee. No skydiving. * **Never go to bed angry with your partner.** Kiss and make up. And kiss. And kiss some more. * **Write down the good stuff that happened.** Force your brain to think about the good and life will be good. * **Schedule something to look forward to.** Anticipation is like 401K matching for happiness. Double the happies. Your brain cheats. Cheat back. Plan a good thing for tomorrow to have an emotional high point, end the day right and you can trick your mind into happiness. And don’t wait. Right now, send this to a friend and plan something fun for tomorrow. That way you’re half done. As the saying goes, “All’s well that ends well.” So end the day well, my friend. **Join over 245,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/02/evening-ritual/)**_._** ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] When I was growing up, I, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. But I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be. I wanted to be glamorous, I wanted to be independent. And I wanted to be. Driving my own bus. My main inspiration was my mother. In 1945, she went to the, death camps for 13 months. She survived them, and, but she weighed 49 pounds. The doctor says you could be married. But you absolutely cannot have a child for quite a few years. Well, just a few months later I was born. And I was not normal. That, in so many ways, explains everything about me, about my life, about how I handle things. Survival, independent. Is very important. [ MUSIC ] The next thing is that very, very quickly I developed a relationship with myself. And I'm so lucky I did because the most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself. If you have that. Any other relationship is a plus and not a must. [ MUSIC ] Some days I totally feel like a loser. And I don't know anyone who is truly successful who doesn't feel like a loser. Feeling like a loser is a little bit part of fueling your energy. To go on. First sign of success is first that you are financially independent and that's important but immediately after or at the same is you have a voice and I think that is where one should uses ones success. Because if you have a voice, it is your duty, but it's also your privilege and your gift to help. To use your voice for people who have no voice. I lived three, three moments of my career. I lived an American dream. Where everything went so fast, where I became successful so fast, and I couldn't follow, it went so fast. And then I sold my company and I thought I was finished with fashion. I realized that my work was my identity. And I felt very bad about it. And it took me a long time to take it over again. And, and then I started again. Now there's a third moment. Which is legacy. With my work and with my brand its not just about a little dress but its about a spirit I celebrate freedom I empower women and I sell confidence but its the spirit around all of that that I would like to. I would like that to last after me. 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