--- title: Ronda Rousey Talks Holly Holm UFC Loss on Ellen description: The UFC champ told Ellen DeGeneres she had suicidal thoughts canonical: https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/ author: Samantha Grossman article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-02-16T15:56:03.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:02:55.086Z og:title: Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Holly Holm Loss og:description: She opened up in an emotional interview on 'Ellen' og:url: https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Holly Holm Loss twitter:description: She opened up in an emotional interview on 'Ellen' twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Losing to Holly Holm > Sponsored content. 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Every edition is assembled by TIME editors rather than generated automatically. ## Video: Ronda Rousey On Holly Holm Fight: 'I Need To Come Back' [Watch (HLS stream): Ronda Rousey On Holly Holm Fight: 'I Need To Come Back'](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/9Fv5wqfv.m3u8) (0:46)  _Published 2015-12-08. In November, Holly Holm knocked out Ronda Rousey in one of the biggest upsets in UFC history. And now, she’s hungry for a rematch._ by [Samantha Grossman](https://time.com/author/samantha-grossman/) ## Samantha Grossman Feb 16, 2016 3:56 PM UTC by [Samantha Grossman](https://time.com/author/samantha-grossman/) ## Samantha Grossman Feb 16, 2016 3:56 PM UTC Back in November, MMA fans were shocked when former bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey [lost to Holly Holm](http://time.com/4113796/holly-holm-ronda-rousey-ufc/) in a major upset. Rousey has discussed the fight before — but mostly to address the physical effects. (“It might be three to six months before I can eat an apple,” she [told ESPN](http://time.com/4140048/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-interview/), “let alone take an impact.”) But now, in an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, Rousey has opened up about the emotional aftermath of the devastating loss. She said that as she sat in a medical room following the fight, her first thought was, “What am I anymore if I’m not this?” “I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I’m like, ‘I’m nothing, what do I do anymore, and no one gives a s–t about me anymore without this.'” With support from her boyfriend, fellow UFC star Travis Browne, Rousey said she overcame her suicidal thoughts. “I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there, and I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.” Shortly after the loss, Rousey had promised fans [she’d be back](http://time.com/4114013/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-upset/). ## Transcript UFC fighter Ronda Rousey is opening up for the first time since her November 14th loss to Holly Holm. She says she's sad and still recovering but she wants a rematch. She exclusively told ESPN The Magazine, it might me three to six months before I can eat an apple, let alone take an impact. " I need to come back. I need to beat this chick ." Holm knocked out Rousey in the second round of UFC 193 in what's considered to be one of the biggest upsets in UFC history. Lorenzo and I should lose our promoters license and never be allowed to promote another fight again if we don't make this rematch. UFC President Dale [ UNKNOWN ] says a rematch is going to happen. And both [ UNKNOWN ] and [ UNKNOWN ] said they were interested in one as well. 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