--- title: Why Nice People Finish Last—And First description: Being nice can hurt you at first, but it pays the biggest dividends canonical: https://time.com/4050924/the-science-behind-why-nice-people-finish-last-and-how-to-fix-that/ author: Tessa Berenson article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-09-26T12:40:04.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:57:40.989Z article:section: Science og:title: The Science Behind Why Nice People Finish Last—And How to Fix That og:description: Nice people are most likely to finish last—or first og:url: https://time.com/4050924/the-science-behind-why-nice-people-finish-last-and-how-to-fix-that/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta06067694c40c86d/698865a8cf40a84fb0c3fecb/gettyimages-463116677.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 7360 og:image:height: 4140 og:image:alt: 463116677 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Science Behind Why Nice People Finish Last—And How to Fix That twitter:description: Nice people are most likely to finish last—or first twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blta06067694c40c86d/698865a8cf40a84fb0c3fecb/gettyimages-463116677.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Science Behind Why Nice People Finish Last—And How to Fix That > Sponsored content. 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It covers the reporting, scoops and conversations shaping AI and the decisions facing leaders. #### Where can I get reported AI news rather than commentary? In the Loop is TIME's AI newsletter, built on original reporting and access to the people building and governing AI. It publishes Tuesdays and Fridays and is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who writes TIME's In the Loop? Harry Booth, a tech reporter at TIME, writes In the Loop. #### Is In the Loop free? Yes. In the Loop is free at time.com/newsletters. ## Video: Brene Brown: Rising Strong [Watch (HLS stream): Brene Brown: Rising Strong](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/Xm9YvVrb.m3u8) (1:56)  _Published 2015-09-09. Brene Brown: Rising Strong_  by [Tessa Berenson](https://time.com/author/tessa-berenson/)  ## Tessa Berenson Sep 26, 2015 12:40 PM UTC  Silhouette of helping hand between two climber Silhouette of helping hand between two climber Getty Images  by [Tessa Berenson](https://time.com/author/tessa-berenson/)  ## Tessa Berenson Sep 26, 2015 12:40 PM UTC Adam Grant, the youngest tenured professor at Wharton Business School, wants nice people to finish first. But, according to him, they don’t. Grant was a speaker at this year’s session of The Nantucket Project, an annual lecture series on the island in Massachusetts put on by Tom Scott, the founder of Nantucket Nectars, and featuring former Meet the Press moderator David Gregory, musician Neil Young, and computer pioneer Steve Wozniak, among others. Speaking in a tent by the waterfront at the White Elephant Hotel (the main event tent, that is, not the cozily furnished “espresso tent” by its side), Grant explained which kinds of people have the easiest time getting ahead in life. He’s an organizational psychologist by trade, and broke people down into three types: Takers, Matchers and Givers. In simple terms, Takers look out for themselves. Givers are generous with other people with no strings attached. And Matchers fall somewhere in between, with a quid pro quo philosophy of doing favors and then expecting things in return. He gave the audience members a joking way to test if they’re a narcissistic Taker: “Step 1: Take a moment to think about yourself. Step 2: If you made it to Step 2, you are not a narcissist.” By a show of hands, most people in the audience were rooting for the generous Givers to do well in life. But Grant said that in a study of engineers, salespeople and medical school students, people with Giver personalities were consistently the worst performers in their field. This was disheartening to the few hundred audience members. But in a surprising twist, Takers were not the ones who did the best: it was also the Givers. In each of those three professions, the most generous people were overrepresented in both the bottom 25% of their field _and_ the top 25%. As Grant put it, “Good guys and gals have a better chance of finishing last than the rest of us, but also better odds of finishing first.” He said it’s because being overly generous towards other people can be harmful in the short run, if it outweighs personal goals and needs. But it will pay dividends later with the skills the Givers acquire along the way and the goodwill they engender. “You actually learn things through helping other people solve their problems,” Grant said. “And there’s a social capital upside… but they don’t happen right away.” Takers, on the other hand, tend to rise fast and fall just as quickly. So how do we make sure that Givers are rewarded? That’s the subject of Grant’s study, and he says there are a few things you can do, ranging from reinforcing giving behavior in children—by praising their character rather than their actions—to keeping Takers out of your organization, because one Taker is more poisonous to a group than dozens of Givers are beneficial. So it still pays to be a generous person. Just maybe not right away. ## Transcript When failure doesn't hurt, it's not failure. [ NOISE ] [ SOUND ] Oh, there's contact, Stewart into the middle of the pack and over. When I look back on a failure [ MUSIC ] [ INAUDIBLE ] Where I really gave it everything. And I stayed in my values. And I did what I thought was right, and I failed. It hurts, but it's not the same as when I look back on the failures of my life. Where I tried to hedge my bets, thinking it would hurt less if I lost. Those are the most painful, for sure. If the failure changes how we think about ourselves. Then we need to dig into it. Failure is a short walk to shame. Shame hates having words wrapped around it. Shame needs three things to grow exponentially. Secrecy, silence, and judgement. But you start talking about, and you start talking the emotional landscape of failure. Then you've got change. [ MUSIC ] If you cannot manage discomfort, that sends you barreling into perfectionism, excuse making, blame, rationalizing, fixing it, cleaning it up without taking away the key learnings from a failure or a Disappointment. And our brain is wired for survival above all else. When our brain perceives a threat, our brain scrambles to make sense of it. And if it can make sense of it very quickly, we're rewarded chemically. The problem is that we're rewarded regardless of the accuracy of the story we make up. And so these stories drive out emotions, which drive our thinking and our behaviour. But we don't want to be victims in the story. We don't even want to be heroes in the story. We want to the author of the story. And you can't do that unless you own a story and dig in to it. 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