<!-- mobian-agent-page publisher="time" canonical="https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/" -->

---
title: Is Mommy Blogging Fair on Kids?
description: A sex columnist worries about revealing too much
canonical: https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/
author: TIME
article:opinion: false
article:content_tier: free
article:published_time: 2015-09-25T12:30:12.000Z
article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:57:23.657Z
og:title: Does Mommy Blogging Exploit Kids?
og:description: A sex writer finds something she&#x27;s shy about
og:url: https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/
og:site_name: TIME
og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&amp;width=3840&amp;quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;crop=16:9
og:image:width: 1200
og:image:height: 675
og:image:alt: TIME.com stock photos Computer Keyboard Typing
og:type: article
twitter:card: summary_large_image
twitter:title: Does Mommy Blogging Exploit Kids?
twitter:description: A sex writer finds something she&#x27;s shy about
twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&amp;width=3840&amp;quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;crop=16:9
---

![](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9)


# Is Mommy Blogging Fair on Kids?


by 

[Steph Auteri / YourTango](https://time.com/author/yourtango/)


## Steph Auteri / YourTango


Sep 25, 2015 12:30 PM UTC

![TIME.com stock photos Computer Keyboard Typing](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=3:2)

Elizabeth Renstrom for TIME

by 

[Steph Auteri / YourTango](https://time.com/author/yourtango/)


## Steph Auteri / YourTango


Sep 25, 2015 12:30 PM UTC

Writing about my husband is one thing; where do I draw the line with my kids?

Famed [mom](http://www.yourtango.com/experts/kate-anthony/5-reasons-date-single-mom) blogger Heather Armstrong — better known as Dooce — [wrote about](http://dooce.com/2010/08/09/older-child) the reasons behind the dwindling coverage of her older daughter on her blog. She mentioned that her daughter had been squeamish lately about getting her photo taken, and also wrote that she now asks for her daughter’s permission before mentioning her on the blog.

It brings to mind questions that have been swirling around the blogosphere for a while now: Do parenting bloggers compromise their chidren’s safety by revealing so much online? Is this type of blogging exploitative? How much is too much, and where should we draw the line? Susannah Breslin muses over at [The Frisky](http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-should-mothers-blog-about-their-kids/#When:19:00:44Z?eref=RSS), “… it makes one wonder if what Leta \[Armstrong’s daughter\] is having a hard time with is the fact that her mother made her life public — without her permission.”

I’ve focused on the personal essay for almost 10 years now.

When I began writing adult content about eight years ago, I became comfortable revealing more than just my emotions.

I found that opening up about the most intimate parts of myself was conducive to healing… not only for myself, but for others who read my pieces and realized they were not alone. Suddenly, they felt comfortable engaging in a dialogue around a subject they had kept quiet about for years. That openness and honesty is now the most important aspect of my writing.

Six years ago, I met the man I would eventually marry. I wasn’t doing much at the time, aside from receiving unemployment checks and writing nightlife reviews for Shecky’s. The early bits of our relationship consisted of going out to the bars, restaurants and clubs I was writing about. As I began bringing in more sex-related assignments, Michael seemed open to being involved. I dragged him along to cuddle parties, [sex](http://www.yourtango.com/sex) parties and porn parties.

We tried out a plethora of [sex toys](http://www.yourtango.com/2014231533/sex-toys-i-wore-vibrator-around-town-let-husband-control), lube and [condoms](http://www.yourtango.com/2015272343/finally-four-new-condoms-that-actually-feel-good), after which I wrote up the details of our experiences for a number of publications. We even appeared in _Women’s Health_ as a favor to another sex writer I knew, revealing the details of our sex problems and posing for the mag with toys and a tickler.

One of Michael’s co-workers at the time happened upon the piece and, by the end of the day, it had been passed around his entire office, with much teasing and fanfare. Poor guy. But, to his credit, he didn’t withdraw from my writing.

These days, I still allude to my sex life in [my bi-weekly sex column](http://www.thefrisky.com/tag/sex+with+steph/), and I’m constantly drawing upon my life with Michael when I create content for YourTango. I’m so lucky to be married to someone who doesn’t mind having a starring role in my work.

But we’re trying to have kids, a move that will change our lives drastically. I’m wildly excited about this. We both are. I’ve always wanted to be a mom — one much like my own mom. But how do I figure out what to reveal — and what not to reveal — when it comes to writing about this new experience? How much can I exclude when it comes to something that will undoubtedly change my life?


I turned to several parenting bloggers to get their opinions on where to draw the line.

Heather Sobieralski of [My Mama Mojo](http://mymamamojo.blogspot.com/) has this to say about her openness when she writes:

---

> “”

---

Danny Evans of [Dad Gone Mad](http://www.dadgonemad.com/) mentions a similar appreciation of honesty in writing:

---

> “”

---


When I asked for his thoughts on whether or not bloggers should get permission for the things they write about their children online, Evans said:

---

> “”

---

I agree with Evans and Sobieralski, for the most part. Honesty in writing is key, and so much about parenting is universal.

But as I remember my own childhood — as a girl who was easily embarrassed by her parents _without_ the aid of the Internet — I get the feeling that I’ll end up censoring myself anyway. My husband was always a willing participant. But my children won’t know any better, at least at the beginning. And this makes _me_ squeamish.


Perhaps this is another parenting decision we’ll have to make together.

_This_ [_article_](http://www.yourtango.com/201080452/whats-tmi-when-youre-mommy-blogger) _originally appeared on_ [_YourTango_](http://www.yourtango.com)

_More from YourTango:_

* [For The Love Of GOD, Stop Asking New Moms These 7 Questions](http://www.yourtango.com/2015280575/for-the-love-of-god-stop-asking-new-moms-these-7-questions)
* [I’m Not Ashamed Of My Stretch Marks — But I Won’t Share On Facebook](http://www.yourtango.com/201196639/stretch-marks-badges-honor-or-unsightly-scars)
* [How To Keep Your Phone From Ruining Your Relationships](http://www.yourtango.com/2015280167/how-your-phone-actually-ruining-your-relationships)

```json
[{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/"},"headline":"Is Mommy Blogging Fair on Kids?","datePublished":"2015-09-25T12:30:12.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:57:23.657Z","description":"A sex columnist worries moms are revealing too much","url":"https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/","keywords":["Living","Parenting","Children","Social Media","Internet","kids"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Steph Auteri / YourTango"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltaefc5d63f3e2401c/69877889524fc01325debc14/computer-keyboard-typing-3.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"TIME.com stock photos Computer Keyboard Typing","caption":"TIME.com stock photos Computer Keyboard Typing","creditText":"Elizabeth Renstrom for TIME","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-living/","name":"Living"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4048784/parenting-blog-tips/","name":"Is Mommy Blogging Fair on Kids?"}}]}]
```

