--- title: Brittany Maynard Widower: What I've Learned Without My Wife description: The choice to have a gentle death is a basic right canonical: https://time.com/4038369/brittany-maynards-widower-what-ive-learned-in-the-past-year/ author: Dan Diaz article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-09-17T18:44:07.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:06:20.047Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Brittany Maynard's Widower: What I've Learned in This Year og:description: The choice to have a gentle death is a basic right og:url: https://time.com/4038369/brittany-maynards-widower-what-ive-learned-in-the-past-year/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt49e157fcc136e767/6988640a0b72e350a86e5dbe/brittany-maynard-dan-diaz.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2100 og:image:height: 1181 og:image:alt: Brittany Maynard - Dan Diaz og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Brittany Maynard's Widower: What I've Learned in This Year twitter:description: The choice to have a gentle death is a basic right twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt49e157fcc136e767/6988640a0b72e350a86e5dbe/brittany-maynard-dan-diaz.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Brittany Maynard's Widower: What I've Learned in the Past Year > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=ab0d1c6f-9bb5-464b-a782-975a55185909&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: The Brittany Maynard Fund [Watch (HLS stream): The Brittany Maynard Fund](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/4iRaoVE0.m3u8) (6:30)  _Published 2014-10-08. The Brittany Maynard Fund_ by [Dan Diaz](https://time.com/author/dan-diaz-2/) ## Dan Diaz Sep 17, 2015 6:44 PM UTC  Death-with-dignity advocate Brittany Maynard and husband Dan Diaz at their wedding. Death-with-dignity advocate Brittany Maynard and husband Dan Diaz at their wedding. PR Newswire/AP by [Dan Diaz](https://time.com/author/dan-diaz-2/) ## Dan Diaz Sep 17, 2015 6:44 PM UTC I’ve spent almost a year without my wife, Brittany Maynard, who passed away last November. But in some sense, she has been entirely present. Last week, the California End of Life Options Bill passed the Senate Floor. That was the last hurdle the bill needed to clear in order to make its way to Governor Jerry Brown’s desk for his signature. What the bill means is that no one else will have to leave their home, like Brittany and I did, in order to secure a gentle passing should it become necessary for them. After each of the victories that got it this far, people would seek me out in the Senate and Assembly chambers to say, “Congratulations Dan.” A few even said “_You_ did this. You made this happen, Dan.” While I’d like to think that I may have helped secure a couple of votes within the Senate, and maybe a couple more votes within the Assembly, I’d like to share details of what this effort really took and a few things I learned along the way. This successful effort required the persistence and skill of the caring legislators who crafted and championed the bill as authors and co-authors: Senate Majority Leader Bill Monning, Senate Majority Whip Lois Wolk and Assembly Democratic Caucus Chair Dr. Susan Talamantes Eggman. It needed the support of [Latino labor leader and civil right activist Dolores Huerta](https://www.compassionandchoices.org/2015/06/26/latino-labor-leader-dolores-huerta-endorses-medical-aid-in-dying-bill/), and spiritual leaders like [Reverend Ignacio Castuera](https://www.compassionandchoices.org/2014/11/04/vatican-wrong-to-judge-brittany-maynard-for-her-end-of-life-choice-says-minister/), Reverend [Sergio Camacho](http://www.sbsun.com/opinion/20150611/faithful-should-not-have-to-suffer-needlessly-at-end-of-life-guest-commentary/1) and Reverend Ronald Sparks. It needed the non-profit organization [Compassion & Choices](https://www.compassionandchoices.org/) and its talented employees. It benefitted immensely from the California Medical Association’s recognition that end-of-life decisions should only be made by the terminally ill individual, working with their physicians, in accordance with their own spiritual beliefs and the support of their family. And it needed the thousands of Californian volunteers to visit their legislators, write letters, and call their offices. The bill has also required the voices and efforts of our citizens, in particular ones who are hoping to have the gentle passing the bill might provide. The people have included [Jennifer Glass](https://www.compassionandchoices.org/2015/08/13/advocate-jennifer-glass-dies-before-legislature-enacts-end-of-life-option-act/), a dear friend who asked at the “top of her lungs” to have this option so she could “fear less.” Jennifer died on Aug. 11, but the impact she made will last forever. And [Dr. Robert Olvera](http://www.ocregister.com/articles/life-651088-option-dying.html), a Harvard trained physician who had to watch his 25-year-old daughter, Emily Rose, struggle horribly for 17 years as she slowly died of leukemia. And [Christy O’Donnell](https://www.compassionandchoices.org/what-you-can-do/in-your-state/california/california-mom-christy-odonnell-fights-to-die-on-her-own-terms/), [Elizabeth Wallner](http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/health/California-Right-to-Die-Legislation-Brittany-Maynard-322188552.html), and countless other gravely or terminally ill Californians that are currently fighting for their lives. But most of all this effort needed Brittany, who shared her story of the symptoms that she was enduring as she battled the brain tumor that was ending her life. Brittany didn’t intend to be the “face of this movement” as she was labeled. My beautiful and courageous wife simply wanted the ability to have a gentle death, just as anyone would want. She just wanted the ability to pass away without having to be in so much fear, without having to endure uncontrollable pain—or to put another way, without being tortured to death. The brain tumor was not going to allow for that, so we moved to Oregon. Brittany died gently, in her sleep, on Nov. 1 of last year. What have I learned? The sad reality is, to those of you who are currently facing a dire health condition, or who are the family member caring for a terminally ill individual that is going through a harsh dying process, the legislative stuff is a walk in the park compared to what you’re going through now. I know what it is like to hold a person in your arms as they are dying. I’ve learned that we have to advocate for our loved ones. We have to continue to work with the caring and compassionate medical community to keep our loved ones comfortable at the end of life. I will continue to fulfill my promise to Brittany to advocate for this legislation, so that terminally ill individuals will have all options available to them as they continue to fight at the end of their lives. The ability to have a gentle death is a basic right. Last, I learned that one voice truly can make a difference in this world. Brittany’s certainly did. ## Transcript The thoughts that go through your mind when you find out you have so little time is everything that you need to say to everyone that you love. [ MUSIC ] So after getting married is when I first started experiencing the headaches and they were quite sever. And I didn't understand them because I'd never had any thing like that before in my life. Right when I was diagnosed my husband and I were actively trying for a family. Which is. Is heartbreaking for us both. And then I was diagnosed this past New Year's. We went away to the wine country for kind of a New Year's Eve celebration. And by Jan 1, the following day, I was diagnosed with cancer. And told I was terminally ill. [ MUSIC ] I was told I had a grade two astrocytoma and was told anywhere from three maybe five, up to ten years to live. I have to tell you when you're 29 years old. Being told you have that kind of timeline still feels like you're being told you're gonna die tomorrow. 70 days post- op I went in for another MRI and was told I had had a grade change. They were looking and saying it looks like grade four. Which is the worst and most aggressive form of brain cancer. It's called a glioblastoma. So that was a major shock to my system and the system of my family. Because it went from having potentially years of time to being told I had like six months. My parents spent a couple months. They just wanted to search for a miracle. In the beginning I hoped [ MUSIC ] For everything. I hoped, first I hoped that they have just the wrong X- rays. The wrong set of scans. It was all just a big clerical mishap. Your brain will do really strange things to you when you don't want to believe something. You will come up with fairy tales. I don't wake up every day and look at it. [ LAUGH ] It's in a safe spot. And I know that it's there when I need it. I plan to be surrounded by my immediate family. Which is my husband and my mother and my step father. And my best friend, who's also a physician. And probably not much more people. And I will die upstairs in my bedroom that I share with my husband. With my mother and my husband by my side and pass peacefully with some music that I like in the background. Between, you know, suffering or being allowed to decide when enough is enough just to me makes it, it provides a lot of relief and, and comfort that okay, that option is there. If and when we decide and, or she decides that, you know, it's time. I can't even tell you the amount of relief that it provides me to know that I don't have to die the way that it's been described to me, that my brain tumor would take me on its own. Death with dignity allows for people who are. In the, predicament of facing a lot of suffering, that they can decide when enough is enough. Brittany's always been, kind of, bigger than life. She, she's kind of a wanderlust. And she's always liked exciting things, adrenalin rush. She's liked t, traveling. She's she's always been precocious and very, very bright. And anything she set her mind to she did. Since becoming ill, I have traveled and continued. My husband and I. I took a beautiful trip to Yellowstone. It was exquisite. And, then, I went with my best friend to Alaska and we went to Denali National Park, and we went to, Seward and Kenai Fjords and kayaked up to the glaciers and then I met my mother. In Juneau, and we took this spectacular boat trip. Before I pass I'm hoping to make it to the Grand Canyon, cuz I've never been. And that's all I can do is set little goals like that and I, all those things make every day worthwhile. My hope now is that my daughter can. Live her life the way she wants to. That she can make the decisions that she wants to. That she can be who she is. Which is this very autonomous, bright well- read, well- traveled person who loves adventure. She's kind of got me into this thing where now we've agreed to meet. And So I'm gonna go on a traveling adventure. And she's this place I, I'm kind of scared to go to Machu Picchu, lot of climbing and but she said she'd meet me there. And so damn it I'll go. I hope to enjoy however many days I have left on this beautiful earth and spend as much of it outside as I can. Surrounded by those I love. I hope to pass in peace. The reason to consider life and what's of value is to make sure you're not missing out. Cease the day. What's important to you? What do you care about? What matters? Pursue that, forget the rest. 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