--- title: How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research description: Emphasize community in your conversation canonical: https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-09-03T04:01:05.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:49:30.141Z article:section: Ideas og:title: How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research og:description: Emphasize community in your conversation og:url: https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt64395548fcb30bc6/698861dacd1bba74fd6fcfbb/narcissist-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1255 og:image:height: 706 og:image:alt: narcissist-woman og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research twitter:description: Emphasize community in your conversation twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt64395548fcb30bc6/698861dacd1bba74fd6fcfbb/narcissist-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research ## Video: Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong [Watch (HLS stream): Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uzXSRUbM.m3u8) (1:01)  _Published 2015-08-25. It’s estimated that you say 300-1,000 to yourself in a minute: keep those words positive_ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Sep 3, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Al otro lado del espejo Al otro lado del espejoGetty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Sep 3, 2015 4:01 AM UTC There are ways to make a narcissist easier to deal with. Emphasize community when you talk to them. When they feel there’s a strong group behind something, they’re more likely to behave: --- > “” --- (To learn how to get people to like you — from an FBI behavior expert — click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/).) When they do something wrong, use disappointment as a weapon to keep them in line. It works better than anger: --- > “” --- (To learn how to make difficult conversations easy, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/difficult-conversations/).) Maybe you think you don’t deal with too many narcissists. There’s research that shows the leader of a group is more likely to be on the narcissistic end of the spectrum: --- > “” --- (To learn how to win every argument, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/09/how-to-win-every-argument/).) **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/03/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/)**_._** **Join over 205,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) _Read next:_ [_10 Steps to a Happier Life, Backed By Research_](http://time.com/3980705/happier-life-research/?iid=time%5Freadnext) [_Download TIME’s mobile app for iOS to have your world explained wherever you go_](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/time-mobile/id328218429) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/"},"headline":"How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research","datePublished":"2015-09-03T04:01:05.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:49:30.141Z","description":"Emphasize community in your conversation","url":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/","keywords":["Psychology","Narcissism"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt64395548fcb30bc6/698861dacd1bba74fd6fcfbb/narcissist-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt64395548fcb30bc6/698861dacd1bba74fd6fcfbb/narcissist-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"narcissist-woman","caption":"narcissist-woman","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/","name":"How to Deal With a Narcissist, Backed by Research"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong","description":"It’s estimated that you say 300-1,000 to yourself in a minute: keep those words positive","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/uzXSRUbM/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-08-25T17:28:45.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uzXSRUbM.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/","duration":"PT1M1S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4018776/narcissist-advice/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```