--- title: The Lazy Way to an Awesome Life: 3 Secrets Backed by Research description: Look around you canonical: https://time.com/3979394/lazy-way-awesome-life/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-07-31T04:01:57.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:06:00.628Z article:section: Ideas og:title: The Lazy Way to an Awesome Life: 3 Secrets Backed by Research og:description: Look around you og:url: https://time.com/3979394/lazy-way-awesome-life/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf30f764a25cd40ff/69885d468e06011a11461a37/friends-sitting-riverbank.jpg?branch=production&width=509&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 509 og:image:height: 286 og:image:alt: friends-sitting-riverbank og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Lazy Way to an Awesome Life: 3 Secrets Backed by Research twitter:description: Look around you twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltf30f764a25cd40ff/69885d468e06011a11461a37/friends-sitting-riverbank.jpg?branch=production&width=509&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Lazy Way to an Awesome Life: 3 Secrets Backed by Research > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=a106ed5b-6348-4c6d-b001-2ee58471b41e&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: 3 People to Befriend at Work [Watch (HLS stream): 3 People to Befriend at Work](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/aPHbtcJW.m3u8) (1:54)  _Published 2015-06-10. You'll obviously make friends at a new job, but these are three people you should absolutely befriend._ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 31, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Group of friends having snacks at riverbank Group of friends having snacks at riverbank Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 31, 2015 4:01 AM UTC We all want an awesome life. And very often you know what you need to do to improve it… but you don’t do it. I don’t blame you. Hey, some of that stuff is _hard_. (I should know. I write about it all the time.) Isn’t there an easy, passive way where your flaws start correcting themselves, you gain respectable goals and become much, much happier? Well, at least in theory, there just _might_ be. I called somebody to find out. [Nicholas Christakis](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OFVO5Y/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OFVO5Y&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20), MD, PhD, MPH, is a professor at Yale University and directs the Human Nature Lab there. He is the author (with James Fowler) of [Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OFVO5Y/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OFVO5Y&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20). Here’s his TED talk: [Tons of research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/whats-the-most-effective-way-to-change-you-be/) (and common sense) shows that the people around you influence your behavior. In fact, they influence it a lot more than you might think and probably more than you’re comfortable with admitting. But here’s the really crazy part: not only do your friends affect your behavior, so do _their friends_. And their _friends’ friends_. Here’s Nicholas: --- > “” --- So if you spend time with different people, could you become a different person? Want the laziest way to improve your life? The prescription is simple… ## 1) Hang Around The People You Want To Be [The Longevity Project](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452297702/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0452297702), which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say: --- > “” --- In Charles Duhigg’s excellent book [The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400069289/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1400069289): --- > “” --- Many researchers I have spoken to, from Duke’s [Dan Ariely](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-be-efficient/) to Cornell’s [Brian Wansink](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/11/how-to-get-in-shape/), have emphasized _context_ as the most powerful (and most ignored) catalyst for changing your life. But what if you’re not even trying to make big changes in your life? What if you just want to be treated well? Turns out altruism and jerk-itude also move through networks. Here’s Nicholas: --- > “” --- And the workplace isn’t much different. Behavior is contagious there, too. Via [The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC10GG/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000FC10GG&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=YVAQ3UE2C4ZTB4DG): --- > “” --- When I spoke to Stanford GSB professor [Bob Sutton](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/scaling-up-excellence/), he told me his #1 piece of advice to students was this: --- > “” --- (For more on how to get people to like you, from an FBI behavior expert, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/).) So the people around you can unconsciously affect your behavior in many ways — positive and negative. Let’s focus on one thing we’re all interested in: happiness. Because this is where it gets really interesting… ## 2) Making Friends = Making Happiness Would an extra $10,000 dollars a year make you happier? I’ll assume you’re nodding. Research shows 10K only provides a 2% increased chance of happiness. Meanwhile, being surrounded by happy friends makes you 15% more likely to be happy. Even if a friend of a friend of a friend becomes happier, that means a 6% chance you will become happier. So the happiness of people you have never met — and may never meet — is three times as powerful as money. Via [Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OFVO5Y/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OFVO5Y&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- A happy friend increases the likelihood of you being happy by 9%. An unhappy friend means a 7% decrease. You don’t need a degree in accounting to figure out what that means: overall, more friends = more happiness. Spending time making friends has a higher happiness ROI than time spent making money. So next time you meet up with a happy pal, ask them to bring a friend. Even a lazy person can manage that. Via [Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OFVO5Y/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OFVO5Y&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Here’s the really interesting part: you can totally rig the system. It’s the scientific version of karma. With the effect spanning three degrees, there’s a good chance making a small effort to make friends happier will flow back to you. Nicholas found that if a friend became happy in the past six months there’s a 45% chance your happiness will increase. (For more on what you can learn from the happiest people in the world, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/happiest-people/).) So, lazy bones, are you willing to send a couple emails or texts to dramatically increase your happiness? Here’s how. ## 3) Introduce Friends To Friends Unsurprisingly, people at the periphery of a network have fewer friends and are more likely to be lonely. And yes, that loneliness can flow back three degrees to you. (And no, you can’t easily track these people down and kick them out of your network.) Know what you can do? Introduce your friends to each other. Again, happy friends means a 9% gain, unhappy friend means a 7% loss. All other things being equal, I’ll take those odds in Vegas any day. This strengthens the network, and increases everyone’s chance of staying happy. Via [Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OFVO5Y/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B002OFVO5Y&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (To learn the 4 most common relationship problems — and how to fix them, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/relationship-problems/).) So a few tiny efforts can yield massive positive change in your life. Let’s round up the details and learn two other fascinating tidbits that can change the way you see the world — and make that world a better place. ## Sum Up Here’s what we can learn from Nicholas: * **Hang out with the people you want to be**: Behaviors spread like a virus. Make sure it’s one you want to be infected with. * **Make more friends.** Time spent making friends has a higher happiness ROI than time spent making money. * **Introduce friends to friends.** Friends becoming happy increases your chance of happiness by 45%. Keeping the network happy protects you against unhappiness. Other research Nicholas did turned up something truly heartwarming: **friends are family**. Quite literally. Here’s Nicholas: --- > “” --- And one last thing: keep in mind that Nicholas’ research also gives you great power. And, as all good Spider-Man fans know, with “great power comes great responsibility.” Here’s Nicholas: --- > “” --- When you make a positive change in your life, it affects the people around you and ripples out to others. So you can be lazy and see benefits by surrounding yourself with great people — but you can also choose to make strides in your life, even small ones, and contagiously pass those benefits to those you care about. Making yourself a better person isn’t a gift you only give to yourself. It’s a gift you give to the world. Spread the happiness virus! Share this with friends (and friends of friends, and friends of… you get it.) **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/07/awesome-life/)**_._** **Join over 200,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] So much of success in life is about who you know and that's especially true in your career. You note a network but there are probably a few people aren't thinking about in your office that would be good to friend too. You should get to know someone in HR. Someone in HR is gonna have their ear to the ground if there are layoffs, they can be a sounding board if you are interested in getting a raise, and they can tell you about internal job opportunities. Chances are your only interaction with HR was probably when you got hired. So capitalize on that early connection, stay in touch. And, see if you can go out for occasional lunches with whoever you're in contact with. It's also a good idea to get to know your boss's assistant. That person is a gatekeeper for your boss. And, they're gonna be able to help you get on a crowded calendar and maybe they'll give you some feedback on the boss's mood that day. [ MUSIC ] It's also beneficial to have a good relationship with the office superstar. You know who that is. Someone who rocks it on the job. They're very confident, and it's someone you can learn about from. Offer to say, pitch in on a project. Or just pick their brain about your careers. Now, this isn't about sucking up or brown- nosing. Friendships are two way streets. There has to be give and take. So when your friends with someone in HR, maybe you could send them some good promising job candidates for the bosses assistant. Maybe they're an up and comer and they could use some mentoring. And for the office rock star, well they'll probably be flattered that you want to talk with them and get their advice. It's really not a stretch for these friendships to develop. Afterall, you have a lot in common and that's the bases for any good friendship. 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