--- title: How to Improve Your Writing: 5 Tips From Hollywood description: Start with a solid structure canonical: https://time.com/3955361/improve-writing-hollywood-secrets/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-07-18T04:01:48.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:03:18.177Z article:section: Ideas og:title: How to Improve Your Writing: 5 Secrets From Hollywood og:description: Start with a solid structure og:url: https://time.com/3955361/improve-writing-hollywood-secrets/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbccb724c4b11c9aa/69885a9ce53aba87dd4de939/notebook-laptop-man-hands-typing.jpg?branch=production&width=509&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 509 og:image:height: 286 og:image:alt: notebook-laptop-man-hands-typing og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Improve Your Writing: 5 Secrets From Hollywood twitter:description: Start with a solid structure twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbccb724c4b11c9aa/69885a9ce53aba87dd4de939/notebook-laptop-man-hands-typing.jpg?branch=production&width=509&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Improve Your Writing: 5 Secrets From Hollywood > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=91702677-e4c3-4596-bf21-ffe8a3fa9154&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: The Nantucket Project: How Storytelling is Getting in The Way of Your Success [Watch (HLS stream): The Nantucket Project: How Storytelling is Getting in The Way of Your Success](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/HSYDj99Q.m3u8) (17:44)  _Published 2015-02-17. The Nantucket Project: How Storytelling is Getting in The Way of Your Success_ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 18, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  typing on the keyboard typing on the keyboard Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jul 18, 2015 4:01 AM UTC Thanks to the internet, people are reading and writing more than ever. But is it me, or does it seem like the quality of that writing has gotten _worse_? However, this can be a _good_ thing. These days, solid writing really stands out. It can be a competitive advantage in anything you do. Want to know how to improve your writing? Or have you ever thought about crafting the next great novel or screenplay? Want to know how to write like a _pro_? Me, too. So I called my buddy Andy. [Andrew Kevin Walker](http://andrewkevinwalker.com/) wrote the blockbuster [_Seven_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00464AVXW/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00464AVXW&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=P4PJKVXDTS4GUKN5), starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. Here’s the trailer: Andy was also a writer on many other big projects including [_Sleepy Hollow_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035LJZ1Q/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0035LJZ1Q&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=PVGLMBB4ZAXTY37B), [_The Hire_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rClhr6HKeU), and [_Fight Club_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001H1SVO8/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001H1SVO8&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=EFIV5AISX7G7G33F) (you might notice in the credits that the three cops who attack Edward Norton are named “Andrew”, “Kevin” and “Walker.”) His new book is [Old Man Johnson](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010TTIELI/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B010TTIELI&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=ZYEWIY2WGAKUCORV). Below you’ll learn: 1. The thing that immediately tells readers you’re a good writer. 2. How to surprise your audience. 3. The mindset you need to write like a pro. 4. The secret to effective collaboration. 5. How to make readers _feel_ something when they read your work. And much, much more. Alright, ramblers, let’s get ramblin’… ## 1) How To Improve Your Writing Andy recommends two things you can do to vastly improve your writing — whether you’re writing an email, a presentation for work or a screenplay for Hollywood. What’s the first one? Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- Do you have a beginning, a middle and an ending? Does one build on the other? Is there a sense this is going somewhere? Does it seem like you have really thought this through? Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- And other experts agree. When I interviewed UCLA Film School professor [Howard Suber](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/), he said structure was vital. Good stories are built on the word [“but”, not the word “and.”](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/) This insures that there are twists and turns, and a relationship between what came before and what will come after. What’s the second thing you need to do? Revise. First drafts are never final drafts. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- When I spoke with Harvard professor [Steven Pinker](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/11/how-to-be-a-better-writer/), he said the same thing. Here’s Steven: --- > “” --- (To learn the good work habits that all geniuses have in common click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/genius-work-habits/).) Structure and revising will definitely improve your writing. But what gets the attention of an audience, especially in this age of zero attention span? You gotta surprise ’em. Here’s how… ## 2) How To Surprise The Reader Surprise is about defying expectations. So to do it you must first know what your audience expects from the type of writing you’re doing. This is true for everything from PowerPoint presentations to creative essays. Know your “genre” and what your audience expects and you’ll know what you need to do to surprise them. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- That shocking moment (NSFW) is here: And UCLA Film School professor [Howard Suber](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/) says this sort of surprise is essential to creating engaging writing. Here’s Howard: --- > “” --- (For more on how to be a great writer from Harvard’s Steven Pinker click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/11/how-to-be-a-better-writer/).) Okay, so you’ve got structure, you’re revising your work and incorporating surprise. That can definitely improve your writing. But what does it take to write like a_pro_? ## 3) How To Write Like A Professional Are you enjoying putting those words on the page? Is it making you smile? Congrats, you’re screwing up. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- Sound crazy? Research shows that experts [emphasize the negative](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/09/what-marks-the-transition-from-novice-to-expe/). They have to. If you aren’t continually identifying what isn’t working you can’t make it better. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- We’ve heard a lot about “[flow](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/secret-enjoying-work/).” Flow is pleasurable — but it doesn’t make you better. As Georgetown professor [Cal Newport](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/04/interview-author-cal-newport-on-how-you-can-become-an-expert-and-why-you-should-not-follow-your-passion/) explains, it’s “[deliberate practice](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/what-type-of-practice-produces-peak-performan/)” that improves skills. And that means you’re always working at the edge of your comfort zone, not in a blissful state of flow. Okay, so you’re focusing on the negative… **_But you also need to stay optimistic._** I know what you’re thinking: _Huh? How the heck do you embrace negativity and also be optimistic?_ If you keep emphasizing the negative, you get depressed and you quit. Research shows [pessimism kills grit](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/07/how-to-be-optimistic/). And with all the rejection and criticism in Hollywood, it’s too easy to give up. So while you have to focus on the negative while you’re writing, you need to keep some optimism cooking when you look at the big picture. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- Does this sound crazy? Here’s what’s interesting: the schizophrenic mindset Andy’s describing is the same one seen in elite athletes. Via [Bounce: Mozart, Federer, Picasso, Beckham, and the Science of Success](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004NSVE5U/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B004NSVE5U): --- > “” --- It’s what Andy calls “the manic-depressive requirements of writing.” So how does he do it? How do you hold matter and antimatter in your head at the same time? Andy keeps that ruthless perfectionism brewing… but he makes sure he feels he’s making progress on a regular basis. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- Bestselling author [Dan Pink](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/01/how-to-be-motivated/) has written about the power of these “[small wins](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/01/how-to-be-motivated/)” to keep us going. [Teresa Amabile’s](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/142219857X/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=142219857X&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=SVZUW7MDDRA5ZTKE) research at Harvard shows nothing is more motivating that the feeling of progress. By building this into his schedule, Andy is able to keep going even with a mindset that is deliberately focused on the perfectionistic negative. (To learn how Navy SEALs build grit and learn to never give up click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/01/grit/).) But in many [work environments](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/creative-companies/) writing can be a collaborative process. Hollywood is no different. So what if others are doing the writing and you need to give feedback? How do you help them improve — without insulting them? ## 4) The Right Way To Collaborate Andy has worked with director David Fincher on a number of memorable films, including [_Seven_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00464AVXW/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00464AVXW&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=P4PJKVXDTS4GUKN5) and [_Fight Club_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001H1SVO8/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001H1SVO8&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=EFIV5AISX7G7G33F). Why have their collaborations been so effective? Because Fincher is a master at suspending his ego when giving feedback. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- When I spoke with FBI behavior expert [Robin Dreeke](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0060YIBLK&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=5GDTP7HHIN5KKDJJ) he said the exact same thing about effectively dealing with people: [Suspend your ego](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/). And the secret to writing well when you’re part of a team is to give others that chance to contribute in the areas where they know more than you do. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- It’s only when great writing, great directing, and great acting come together that you get moments (NSFW) like this: (For more on how to make people like you — from an FBI behavior expert — click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/).) We’ve learned a lot about solid writing. But, in the end, nothing is more powerful than moving people emotionally. How can you do that? Andy has an answer. ## 5) How To Make Readers _Feel_ Something It all comes down to one word. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- That’s what made _Seven_ work. Now Andy didn’t literally follow the old advice of “write what you know.” He was never a cop… or a serial killer for that matter. But the script was honest regarding what he was feeling about New York City while he was writing it. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- (For more on how to tell great stories from a UCLA Film School professor click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/).) Okay, Andy’s told us a lot about how to be a better writer. Let’s round it all up — and learn how we can apply it to any career. ## Sum Up Here’s what Andy had to say about how to improve your writing: 1. **Structure lets readers know they’re in good hands. And finishing a draft is just the start. Writing is rewriting.** 2. **Surprise comes from knowing the expectations of your audience — and then turning them on their head.** 3. **The best writers know how to balance the negativity of perfectionism with the optimism that keeps them going. Making sure you have “small wins” can help.** 4. **Collaboration is about suspending your ego. Stop thinking about yourself and focus on what would objectively make the piece better.** 5. **Making a reader feel something is about honesty. You don’t have to come from the future to write science fiction but there does have to be something of yourself in the story for that emotion to show through.** And these ideas don’t just apply to writing. You can be an artist at anything if you take the mindset of an artist and strive to be great at whatever you do. Here’s Andy: --- > “” --- In my [next weekly email](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD) I’ll have more writing tips from Andy (including the best way to find original ideas and discover your voice as a writer.) To make sure you don’t miss it, [join here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD). **Join over 195,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/07/how-to-improve-your-writing/)**_._** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] The Nantucket Project. Every year, The Nantucket Project invites leaders from business, sports, academia, government and the arts to give The Talk of Their Lives. Before the weekend ends, our audience singles out one talk from the dozens they're heard as the highest impact. I'm a total junkie for story. I read and write and live by them and every couple of years, I write some down and then I go city to city and read from my books. And over all these years trafficking in story, I've noticed a little problem which is the standard pieces of good story, at least judging by what we teach and also by what we reward most handsomely, can get in the way of reaching of what I consider to be the Mount Everest of human emotions which is to say the very hardest place to get to. But also where the views are sort of life- changing, choose acceptance. And by accept, I mean, when we acknowledge the nature of the beast, and the beast's nature. So, another way to get at it is to look at the antonyms for accept, which are reject, spurn, deny. Another way to get at it is to talk about Temple Grandin, the famous gifted artistic woman who knew early on as did everyone whoever met her that her mind work differently and rather than deny or reject that or try to fix it, she said this is how my mind works and I'm going to work with what I have got. And, as you probably know, she totally revolutionized the way we treat cattle in this country. So I posted, to get sort of real world on this, I posted on my Facebook page what have you had to accept over your lifetime and what happened after you accepted it. And then about ten minutes I got a master's degree in higher order processing. My friends have had to accept multiple sclerosis, brain damage, stage IV ovarian cancer, four types of addiction, losing a father to murder, a mother to suicide. Everything to a fire, a son who has Rett syndrome, a daughter with diabetes, a son who wants to become a daughter. And all manner of ****. [ LAUGH ] Boss, stepfather, ex. Here's a short list of things that we are all invited to accept, over a lifetime. Our childhoods, which include the flaws of our mothers and fathers. And the cruelties of the neighborhood kid, and the prom date. And the coach we thought had our back. Our children and their mysterious insecurities and tattoos and scars and lost potential. And choice in mates. Our spouses and the many thing they do different from us. Ourselves. The deadly sins, all seven of them. The weather, inconvenient or ruthless. And the irreversible trajectory of all human bodies. So clearly acceptance, arduous though it is, is going to be required of us. Thankfully acceptance gives back. In every single response on Facebook the person said that once they actually crossed over. They set loose an internal freedom what they've never known and that created a possibility for a qualitatively different kind of happiness and productivity. I got going on this whole acceptance thing about four or five years ago when I started working on this book, Glitter and Glue, which I thought was going to be about being a nanny but it turned out to be about my mother. Who like to say your father's the glitter but I'm the glue. [ LAUGH ] [ LAUGH ] My mother and I have virtually nothing in common. I am a dance on the table until midnight extrovert. effusive, affectionate, second- guessing, self- doubting woman who like nothing better than a long hug and a good cry. And my mother, do you watch Downtown Abbey? [ LAUGH ] My mother's Maggie Smith. She is an old school opinionated woman who like nothing better than what she calls a party for one. [ INAUDIBLE ] [ LAUGH ] Which sounds a lot more interesting than it is, I assure you. [ LAUGH ] It's when you pour a nice glad of chardonnay over ice. And you take off your bra, and you grab your library book, and go somewhere no one can find. Now, I have a lot of stories about my mom, and I've been telling them my whole life. Like, for instance, she's a chronic regifter. And by regifting, she takes it to a whole new level. Which is to say, if you were to give her anything, like the bag of goodies I got upon arrival, she would open them very gingerly. And then she would write in pencil on the bottom what it was. And then she would take it home and put it in her closet, her gift closet. And then right before Christmas, she sets up what she calls the store. [ LAUGH ] Which is in the upstairs bedroom that's empty. She lays out all the things she's been given over the course of the year. The lotions and the candles and the strange scarves. And, then puts a little price tag on them and she sells them to her children. [ LAUGH ]. [ LAUGH ] So that we can give them to our aunts and uncles and godparents who we've forgotten to buy a gift for. [ LAUGH ] And I asked her if she minded me telling you that and she said, Betty Moran told me re- gifting is green. [ LAUGH ]. But strangely, in the process of thinking her through it takes years to write a book. There's so many rewrites and conversations. I finally stopped trying to change her. To make her more liberal or spendy or outgoing or even to just to get her switch from Folger's coffee crystals to brewed coffee. [ LAUGH ] I understood for the first time that her way of being in the world is the right way for her. And sometimes, when I'm accepting her, it spills over into my ability to embrace the reality of my own children. And even occassionally, my husband. Though not when he packs the dishwasher because in that case, he does it wrong. [ LAUGH ] Life Mount Everest, acceptance is a really hard place to stay. The air is thin. And I find that I keep falling back into the fight for things to conform to how they should and should not be. And I think those expectations are established. by the conscious and subconscious and sometimes totally unconscious pull to narrative. It's glorious arcs and it's promising, reassuring internal logics that, like it or not, life refuses to replicate. So if you think about it, we learn in elementary school and then again in middle school and again in high school, to look for the five part dramatic structure that's underneath all the stories we're consuming. Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, best of all, denouement, which is a French word that means untie. But my daughter's teacher defined it as the catharsis following, a return to normality. Doesn't that sound fabulous? [ LAUGH ] Then we graduate into the world and we consume and, and produce all kinds of content, literary and cinematic and lyrical. And the world says, you want a winning story. Give me a character I can root for, take him on a journey, and give me a resolution. This goes way back, of course, to Homer and Shakespeare, where certain appetites were created, or maybe just reinforced. For instance, the heroes we love to love are the reluctant nominees like Odysseus. The villains we love to hate are the unseemly power grabbers like Lady Macbeth, which is fine for fiction. The problem is when we start wanting and even expecting real regular people to behave like the archetypal characters we know from our favorite stories. So for a tiny example of narratives influence, in politics the reluctant hero thing goes, if you really want me to run, I will. Nobody ever says I've wanted to be president since I was in kindergarten. In my world, the world of writing, it goes, I didn't hunt down an agent or corner the editor at the party. I was discovered. [ LAUGH ] We lean towards stories of destiny. An organic rise confers authenticity. And that is established or reinforced, or some unholy cycle of the two ,. By story and that might be making it harder to set partners and candidates and colleagues who are staying in this tiny case, a complex mix of ambition and good luck. Speaking of spurning complect, complexity, I was watching cable news in the airport and there were stories about Hillary Clinton and their doctor who performed Joan Rivers' last procedure. And, of course, Roger Goodell. Depending on what channel you watch, they're idiots or prodigies, schemers or innocents. Nobody, it seems, can resist the pull to narrative and that's making for a whole lot of anger and intolerance this isn't much different of course, than the leaders of startups who continually edit their narrative until it seems like one predestined step after another. It's all totally understandable. But these sorts of legendary rises can be fatally dangerous to fledgling inventors and entrepreneurs, who were planning to get to the Holy Land by surface streets instead of rocket ships. Speaking of fatally discouraging, every high school kid I know has bought into this powerful myth. Hero works hard. Hero goes to Yale. Hero has great life, which leaves the community college kids and the kids who worked very hard but got rejected anyway agonizing over the unthinkable fate that awaits them. And God help the heroes who went to Yale and are not having a great life. Most dangerously, though, spontaneous narrative structuring happens, and it happens all the time, between friends. Journalists talk about this thing. It's a tension between truth- telling and something they refer broadly, refer to broadly as civic uplift. Which is sort of shaping the story to give the public what the public needs, especially during times of crisis. I think we might all be participating in casual civic uplifting. It's hyper apparent now, as we all become micro medio, media outlets on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. Presenting thin- sliced versions of our lives, mastering the art of the interpersonal headline. It's harmless, or maybe this is why teen depression and anxiety are at record levels. Because their lives are publicly and quantitatively less populated and eventful than @ jennygogo's. And Ryan and his 764 Instagram friends who follow him everywhere. Where long form nuanced interaction is concerned. We're so out of practice, we almost don't know how. I was recently in a room of adults. And a kid was behind us on the floor, making this crazy collage that made no sense. And while some of us are sorta awkwardly struggling to get a conversation going with her, her basketball playing brother came home and everyone spun around and said, did you win? What was the score? The team lost it turns out, because the refs were blind. And voila, we had a villain. Here was a plot we all knew how to discuss. All the while, the already kid noodled on the floor behind us with her amorphous project that nobody knew how to talk about. Speaking of things people don't know how to talk about, I had cancer in my 30s, and it was kind of stunning how many conversations that year included. Was it in your family? You're so brave and what a wake up call. I totally appreciate that it is unbearable for bad things to just happen unbidden. I feel the same way all the time. But the truth is, that after every one of those conversations I felt a little heavy hearted. Like I couldn't give them the civic uplift they were asking for. I don't have the genetic predisposition which would have been a nice first chapter of my story. There's not one heroic thing about me, and though it would have been nice to claim that cancer reprioritized my life, I didn't need a wake up call. I already knew that I was lucky. We do this for a lot of reasons besides the biggie which is our kind of old as time caveman craving for order and reason. One reason is to establish consistency. So we want to feel integrated across the stages and compartments of our lives. I call it the interview effect or the first date effect, which is when you're. Job as Class Secretary in tenth grade led to your Organizational Development Degree at Stanford which led to consulting for the Fortune 500 which led to the creation of your firm. And then you know, look at the pain that's caused by perceived inconsistencies, like gay christians or libertarian artists or philanthropic dopers. Another reason we do it is to suspend reality. I mean who really wants to face an impending financial reckoning? Or deal with a souring marriage? Who wants to say their candidate blew it? Or that some problems cannot be straightened out just by cleaning house? And sometimes we artificially flavor as a means to invention, so we articulate this vision using all the heartening beats of narrative. And it's an essential step in creating something new. We tell our investors and our job candidates and our early adopters the story of how our essential whatever. Emerged organically from a latent need only we could see. But the simplified narratives that we're creating and projecting and consuming, tempt us into forgetting that family, more than the milestone birthdays, is a dicey damn business. And marriage has hardly a thing to do with anniversary dinners. Products often fail and policies usually come up short one way or another. All the Photoshopping, literally and metaphorically, is leaving us feeling ripped off when our heroes have colossal blind spots. When our most important relationships go in circles. And when catharsis, followed by a return to normalcy, is nowhere to be found. I do know a few people who seem to live with a kind of radical honesty, who rarely negate or reject that which makes them uncomfortable. One is my cousin Kathy who lost her 19 year old, the great, but not perfect Aaron Zentgraf in a car accident. She told me once that for many years she asked herself why did this happen and she finally figured it out. It happened because it can. Cars can flip, glass can break, metal can pierce. Seeing that clearly, accepting the unadulterated reality, set her free. So here's a few things that we can do. Check in daily with complex content. Long- form journalist, journalism. I still love The New Yorker but I'm also reading everyday on medium. com. Literary fiction. HBO. Have you seen The Leftovers? [ APPLAUSE ] Yeah! My one person. But that's really com, that is really complex storytelling. To be on guard for the cognitive moment. When people become characters, when a series of events becomes a plot, when endings become tidy. I know that I'm tacking on a [ UNKNOWN ] when I hear myself invoke destiny with lines like, I could have told you from day one, and absolutisms like always, only, everyone. Catharsis is created, not found. Which means, all resolutions, and this is such great news, is of our making. And maybe our best defense against narrative creep, and the unnecessary, and sometimes, even crippling dissatisfaction it can generate. Is to keep at least one confidant on all matters. A real friend, with whom we trade the unadorned truth of our lives. Non- conforming, inconsistent, notably deficient in many areas. That's the shared reality we're being asked to accept and that's the mountain I hope to summit before it's all over. Maybe I'll see you there. 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