--- title: Take It From Me: You Are Not Sure You Don't Want Kids description: Present you knows very little about what future you will desire canonical: https://time.com/3940782/parenting-wanting-kids/ author: Karol Markowicz article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-06-30T13:48:02.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:58:44.157Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Take It From Me: You Are Not Sure You Don't Want Kids og:description: Present you knows very little about what future you will desire og:url: https://time.com/3940782/parenting-wanting-kids/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9d204d3e5af5fdd0/698858ff3c163910a7458a0c/baby-room.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5015 og:image:height: 2821 og:image:alt: baby-room.jpg og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Take It From Me: You Are Not Sure You Don't Want Kids twitter:description: Present you knows very little about what future you will desire twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9d204d3e5af5fdd0/698858ff3c163910a7458a0c/baby-room.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Take It From Me: You Are _Not_ Sure You Don't Want Kids > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=7c84c4f7-75a3-4877-b647-2611b5fe2b04&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Love and Money: How to Teach Kids About Finance [Watch (HLS stream): Love and Money: How to Teach Kids About Finance](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/lK6dugPn.m3u8) (3:37)  _Published 2015-03-30. MONEY VIDEO_ by [Karol Markowicz](https://time.com/author/karol-markowicz/) ## Karol Markowicz Jun 30, 2015 1:48 PM UTC  Baby's bedroom with wooden cot, toys and changing mat on white wooden floor Baby's bedroom with wooden cot, toys and changing mat on white wooden floor Getty Images by [Karol Markowicz](https://time.com/author/karol-markowicz/) ## Karol Markowicz Jun 30, 2015 1:48 PM UTC There has been an [avalanche](http://www.walmart.com/ip/42081673?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222227029785156&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=63354831648&wl4=&wl5=pla&wl6=89837345328&veh=sem) of [writing](http://time.com/3914157/why-no-children/) lately from women who decided, often quite young, that they would never have children. What these women fail to realize is that they might change their minds. It’s not because they’re women, and it’s only partially because they’re young. The fact is, men and women of all ages understand very little about what will make them happy. In his best-selling book [_Stumbling on Happiness_](http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Happiness-Daniel-Gilbert/dp/1400077427) psychologist Daniel Gilbert argues that we assume that what makes us happy today will make us happy in the future, too. We don’t imagine all of the things that may happen to us that could change our perspective. _Present_ _you_ knows very little definitively about what _future_ _you_ will desire. I have some experience with being unable to predict what will make me happy. I was a serial monogamist in my 20’s despite knowing with great certainty that I would never be anyone’s wife or mother. I never aww’d at babies or daydreamed about my wedding. I pictured myself at 80, alone and fabulous in sequins and false eyelashes, smoking cigarettes at a hotel bar. Become one of those harried moms who yells at little Billy for smearing peanut butter on the wall? No, thanks. The thought of that kind of commitment kept me up at night. I just wanted to be free. I didn’t want that permanence. Tattoos and babies—neither were for me. What happened next was entirely unoriginal. At 30, after ending a long-term relationship of 6 years with a really great guy because I couldn’t move forward, I found myself feeling something for my closest male friend of over a decade. Conveniently, he was feeling something for me at the same time. It was different than all of my previous relationships, and I was unprepared for how real it all got, and how quickly. For one thing, we were already together all the time, so I couldn’t pull any of my tricks to keep him at arm’s-length like I’d done to others. There would be no offering to only see each other a few times a week and encouraging him to go spend time with his own friends. His friends were already my friends, too. And I didn’t want to push him anyway. A few weeks into our relationship we were talking about marriage and children. For the first time ever, this was a conversation that excited me and didn’t make me nervous or uncomfortable. Less than a year later we were engaged, several months after that we were married, and 10 months after that our first baby was born. Our third child is on the way. The big regret is that we didn’t realize everything sooner: Who knows how many little Billys smearing peanut butter we could have had today. Will a change of heart happen to everyone who makes the proclamation that I made that children were out of the question? Of course not. The “right guy” may have zero effect on a woman who has decided not to have children. There will be people who don’t want children today who won’t want children tomorrow. Humans have an endless capacity for change, and proclaiming something doesn’t mean it will happen. Before making irreversible decisions, we should try to remember that. ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] Is there a way to teach your young kids about financial concepts like return on investment in ways that are fun and relatable? Yes there is says Ron Lieber. He's the personal finance columnist for the New York Times and author of the book. The Opposite of Spoiled, Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. Thanks for joining us Ron. Thanks for having me on. I love the book. Thank you. Tackles many complex topics for parents as they're trying to raise responsible, unspoiled children. And rather than just saying you can't have that, we can't afford it or because I said so. You have other strategies for parents that are more effective in how they should communicate to their kids. Sure, so I, you know, one of the things you can do is trying to get the root of why it is that they want this thing. Why do they yearn for it? What is it that's. Causing them to wanna have it. And you can give them tools to help them make better decisions about the money that they do have. And you wanna keep it limited, right? So they can only get some of what they want. Right. It's called the fun ratio? Sure, so the, the, the thing about the fun ratio, this came from a family that I interviewed. And they dreamt it up when the kids were little and they wanted this talking Tigger doll. Or you press a button and Tigger says something and it was all the rage that year, that the kids wanted it. But what they realized afterwards was that talking Tigger really only had like 50 things to say and after that talking Tigger wasn't so interesting anymore. So, they tried to calculate the amount of fun, they got per dollar they spent. The hours of fun per dollar. It turns out talking tigger did not have a very high yield. And this ratio you say works best with wants, not so much the needs, why is that? Well it works well with wants because presumably kids have a limited amount of money, a limited a budget, a limited allowance for the things they want. So we need to teach them to make trade- offs. To figure out what's going to deliver the maximum happiness. And I think what's great about this ratio is that while it teaches you more immediate value, like this toy has X value to me. It also teaches life lessons down the road, right? It kind of makes you a more conscious consumer. It could. I think, I think it could. Look, I mean these are things that adults are constantly wondering about, right? You know, for adults trying to figure out the difference between wants and needs, or between this want and that want, it's useful to have a benchmark. And I think this one can go a long way in life. [ LAUGH ] So let's use an example. Like, my son comes up to me and asks for a video game. He must have it. I really don't wanna get it for him. How do I. Put this ratio into effect and actually have a teachable moment with my son. Well if he's already a gamer you need to ask him to look into the past, the recent past and see how much time he has spent with each of these games that he has played. How many hours of use did he get out of them before he tired of them or abandoned them or they broke? And that way he can actually literally calculate the ratio and figure out the hours of fun he got per dollar he spent. And that may well be predictive of what's going to happen with this next game. But when you're seven years old, do you really get it? Do you really appreciate it? I think you have no choice. [ LAUGH ] Right? Right, right.?? I mean, the rules are the parents' to make- The rules are the rules. And if you want your allowance, you gotta learn how to use it. Look, I, I don't believe in allowance with choirs, right? Mm- hm. Allowance is a tool for learning, and the only responsibility that you have when you get this money is that you have to practice with it. And, a part of practicing is putting these rules to work. There's no way around it. Ron Liber thank you so much. Everyone the book is called The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising kids who are grounded, generous, and smart about money. 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