--- title: Research: How to Be a Better Person in 7 Steps description: Surround yourself with good people canonical: https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-06-27T04:01:25.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:49:32.597Z article:section: Ideas og:title: How to Be a Better Person: 7 Steps Backed By Research og:description: Surround yourself with good people og:url: https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc87de1386b9fe6fc/698858085f570fa3dab1c230/sb10065025a-008-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=506&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 506 og:image:height: 285 og:image:alt: volunteers-construction og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Be a Better Person: 7 Steps Backed By Research twitter:description: Surround yourself with good people twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc87de1386b9fe6fc/698858085f570fa3dab1c230/sb10065025a-008-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=506&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 video:duration: 01:30 video:published: 2015-03-11 section: ideas topics: life coaching, personal growth, human needs, motivation, behavior change, values, fulfillment, meaning in life genre: interview, motivational tones: inspirational, reflective, earnest, confident emotions: empathy (high), determination (medium), hope (medium) sentiment: positive audience: people seeking personal growth, self-improvement readers, life coaching clients, general public people: Tony Robbins content_suitability: personal hardship [00:00-00:04] transcript_source: publisher captions transcript_reviewed: not applicable ---  # How to Be a Better Person: 7 Steps Backed By Research > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. 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Brief (Washington politics, twice weekly), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=236582e9-bdcd-488a-b751-b188e3098a48&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Tony Robbins: How to be a better person [Watch (HLS stream): Tony Robbins: How to be a better person](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/pwTCW5Bo.m3u8) (1:30)  _Published 2015-03-11. Tony Robbins talks about his 37-year long career as a life coach._ Description, summary, key points, chapters, key quotes, questions and transcript, where present, were produced automatically from the video or its captions and were not reviewed. ## Summary Tony Robbins reflects on his decades-long work helping people, which he says began from a passion for human beings rooted in his own difficult upbringing. He explains that people share the same underlying needs, such as certainty, variety, significance and contribution, even though their goals differ. He argues that lasting change requires making change a must rather than a should, and that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. He describes helping people identify what they value and need most so their lives have deeper meaning. ## Key points - Robbins says his work began from a passion for human beings, shaped by a tough upbringing and his experience of suffering. (00:00) - He says he became addicted to seeing people light up and to the love he received from helping people. (00:04) - Robbins describes a 37-year, almost 38-year obsession with finding answers for people. (00:17) - He argues that everybody has different desires and goals but the same needs, including certainty, uncertainty, significance and contribution. (00:23) - He says some people's problems meet their needs, so nothing done for them will change them until the leverage is found. (00:34) - He contends that change must be a must, not a should, because people who only should change try, fail and give up. (00:42) - Robbins says success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure, citing people who ask 'is this all there is?' after reaching their dream. (01:03) - He says people often know what they want but not what they need, and he helps them identify their values and align with them. (01:16) ## Chapters - [00:00 to 00:17] Origins of a lifelong passion. Robbins explains how a difficult upbringing and a love of helping people led to his decades-long career. - [00:17 to 00:34] Shared human needs across goals. Robbins argues that people have different goals but the same underlying needs, such as certainty and significance. - [00:34 to 01:03] Making change a must. Robbins explains that lasting change requires leverage that turns should into must. - [01:03 to 01:30] Fulfillment and aligning with values. Robbins contends that success without fulfillment fails, and he helps people align with what they value and need. ## Key quotes - [00:04] Tony Robbins: "I grew up in a really tough environment. I experienced suffering, so I hate to see other people suffer." - [00:23] Tony Robbins: "Everybody has desires and goals that are different, but we have the same needs." - [00:42] Tony Robbins: "make change a must, and not a should." - [01:03] Tony Robbins: "I always told people success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure." - [01:16] Tony Robbins: "It's cuz they know what they want but they don't know what they need." ## Questions this video answers - Why does Tony Robbins say he got into life coaching? [00:00] - What needs do all people share regardless of their goals? [00:23] - Why do some people never change even when others try to help them? [00:34] - What is the difference between a should and a must when it comes to change? [00:42] - Why can achieving a dream still leave someone unfulfilled? [01:03] - How does Robbins help people find deeper meaning in their lives? [01:16] ## Content suitability - personal hardship [00:00-00:04]: Robbins briefly mentions growing up in a tough environment and experiencing suffering. by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jun 27, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Jun 27, 2015 4:01 AM UTC * We all want to know how to be a better person. The science can be surprising. First, remember context, context, context. Your context dramatically affects your behavior, [so manipulating it is the easiest, most painless way to change yourself](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-the-most-effective-way-to-change-you-be). This is why the religious are [nicer on Sundays](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-religious-people-nicer-on-sundays) and mentioning [God](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-easily-get-strangers-to-be-kinder-to-y) makes people clean up their act. [Thinking about your childhood](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-there-a-way-to-quickly-and-easily-make-peo) (seriously, get a [teddy bear](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-teddy-bears-make-you-more-ethical)) and seeing [others do nice things](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-seeing-altruism-make-you-more-altruistic) can make you act more ethically. Our circumstances can make it hard to be objective even when [you really should be](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/in-what-ways-do-judges-with-daughters-vote-di). Across the board, you behave better when you feel you’re being watched, whether it’s [an image of a pair of eyes](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-getting-people-to-behave-better-a-matter-o), a [security camera](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-security-cameras-make-us-act-kinder) or a [mirror](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-everyday-object-can-motivate-you-to-work). * Power corrupts so tread lightly when you have authority. Power can lead you to [dehumanize people](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-power-make-us-dehumanize-people). It makes you believe [misbehavior is okay](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-the-highest-paid-nba-players-misbehave-mor). It comes in [many forms](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-attractive-people-more-comfortable-with-i). * [Stress](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-people-cheat-because-theyre-stressed-out) can make you cheat. Lack of sleep can [make you unethical](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-lack-of-sleep-make-us-unethical) and when faced with moral dilemmas [you usually do what is easy, not necessarily what’s right](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/when-faced-with-moral-dilemmas-do-we-do-what). So learn how to [de-stress](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/5-ways-to-reduce-stress-and-anxiety). * Ethical people are [happier](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-ethical-people-happier) and happier people are [better citizens](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-happier-people-better-citizens) — so [get happy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/10-things-you-need-to-know-to-be-happier). * It’s not black and white. Men and women have [different moral values](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-women-and-men-have-different-moral-values) and the sins they admit to [reflect this](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/which-of-the-seven-deadly-sins-do-men-and-wom). (And, no, [women are not more ethical than men](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-women-more-ethical-than-men).) * Sadly, this will not be easy. Bad _is_ [stronger than good](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-bad-truly-stronger-than-good). (And ethics books [get stolen more frequently than other books](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/ethics-books-get-stolen-more-frequently-than).) Full disclosure is not a [free pass](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-full-disclosure-really-address-conflicts). Feeling moral [can lead you to act immorally](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-feeling-moral-lead-you-to-you-act-immoral) and [being ethical can hurt your income.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-being-ethical-hurt-your-income) So force yourself to be better [ahead of time](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/whats-a-trick-we-can-use-to-make-sure-we-do-t). * Research also shows little things can make a difference: 1. Play music [with positive lyrics](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-song-lyrics-affect-behavior). 2. [Clean smells](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-there-a-smell-that-promotes-good-behavior) and the [odor of cookies](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/can-the-smell-of-cookies-make-us-nicer-to-eac) both make you behave better. 3. Keep the area [warm](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-make-a-gathering-more-social-and). 4. Get [outside in nature](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-quickly-and-easily-become-a-better-per). 5. Read [fiction](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-reading-fiction-make-us-nicer). **Join over 195,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/7-steps-to-being-a-better-person/)**_._** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ## Transcript [00:00] Started out really just for the passion of human beings. I [00:01] grew up in a really tough environment. I experienced [00:04] suffering, so I hate to see other people suffer. I'm here [00:06] because I believe emotion is the force of life. I really got [00:10] addicted to seeing people light up, and frankly, the love that [00:13] I got from helping people. And that led to 37, almost a 38 [00:17] year obsession now, with finding answers for people. [00:19] [ APPLAUSE ] [ APPLAUSE ] Everybody has desires and [00:23] goals that are different, but we have the same needs. We [00:25] have a need for certainty, we have a need for uncertainty, [00:28] surprise, variety, to feel alive. We have a need to feel [00:31] significant, we have a need to contribute beyond ourself. [00:34] Some people, their problem meets their needs. And so [00:38] they're not about, it doesn't matter what you do for them or [00:40] with them. It's not gonna change. So you have to figure out, [00:42] what's the leverage? Everybody has something that'll push [00:44] them over the edge, that'll make change a must, and not a [00:47] should. Cuz when you should change, you try, and it [00:48] doesn't work, and you give up. We've all had time when [00:51] you, for years, you said you're gonna do something, well, [00:53] one day, finally something happens. You say, not another [00:55] day, not another moment, this is changing now, and you [00:57] did it, and you followed through, and you never went back. [00:59] I'm hungry to always know the road ahead [01:03] and I really think that is a huge advantage in life. If you [01:06] know the road ahead, you're not reacting so much. I [01:09] always told people success without fulfillment is the [01:10] ultimate failure. You know, achieving what you thought [01:13] was the ultimate dream and then saying, is this all there is? [01:16] This happens too often to people. It's cuz they know what [01:18] they want but they don't know what they need. And so I [01:19] really love to help people figure out what they value most, [01:21] what they need most and how to align with that so their life [01:24] has deeper meaning. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/"},"headline":"How to Be a Better Person: 7 Steps Backed By Research","datePublished":"2015-06-27T04:01:25.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:49:32.597Z","description":"Surround yourself with good people","url":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/","keywords":["Careers & Workplace","Psychology","Stress","Power"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc87de1386b9fe6fc/698858085f570fa3dab1c230/sb10065025a-008-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc87de1386b9fe6fc/698858085f570fa3dab1c230/sb10065025a-008-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"volunteers-construction","caption":"volunteers-construction","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/tag/careers-workplace/","name":"Careers & Workplace"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/","name":"How to Be a Better Person: 7 Steps Backed By Research"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Tony Robbins: How to be a better person","description":"Tony Robbins talks about his 37-year long career as a life coach.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/pwTCW5Bo/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-03-11T15:52:35.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/pwTCW5Bo.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/","duration":"PT1M30S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/3932654/being-better-person-steps/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```