--- title: 4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time description: Tim Kreider got stabbed in the throat. The knife went in two millimeters from his carotid artery. He describes those two millimeters as the difference... canonical: https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-05-27T04:01:16.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-31T08:27:54.336Z article:section: Ideas og:title: 4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time og:description: Gratitude is arguably the king of happiness og:url: https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt01d4a57b6fcf39f5/698851bc55a859a460a8c316/150973619-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=750&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: thank-you-card-flower og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time twitter:description: Gratitude is arguably the king of happiness twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt01d4a57b6fcf39f5/698851bc55a859a460a8c316/150973619-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=750&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 27, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Close-up of greeting card and flower Close-up of greeting card and flowerGetty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 27, 2015 4:01 AM UTC Tim Kreider got stabbed in the throat. The knife went in two millimeters from his carotid artery. He describes those two millimeters as the difference between being “flown home in the cargo hold instead of in coach.” Luckily, he made a full recovery. How does he describe the event? **“It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.”** He was so grateful to be alive that for the next year, it was _impossible_ for him to be unhappy. Via [We Learn Nothing: Essays](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439198713/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439198713&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- This is the power of gratitude. No, I’m not encouraging you to get stabbed in the neck but we’ve all felt how happy being grateful can make us. In fact, happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky says gratitude is one of the things [the happiest people on Earth](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/happiest-people/) all share. [Gratitude](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/09/how-to-live-a-happy-life/) is arguably the king of happiness. What’s the research say? Can’t be more clear [than this](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0010O927W/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0010O927W&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Gratitude is one of the most scientifically validated ways [to increase happiness](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y/). Via [Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118131290/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1118131290&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=26TXEXQWUX6DXBHM): --- > “” --- But there’s one problem with gratitude — it wears off. Inevitably, we all end up taking things for granted. And Tim Kreider wasn’t any different. What happened after that year of lucky-to-be-alive bliss? He went back to normal. Via [We Learn Nothing: Essays](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439198713/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439198713&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- We all have moments of gratitude. The question is how can we stay grateful and happy all the time? **You need to build gratitude into your routine instead of making it a lucky accident.** Below are four rituals, backed by scientific research, that can help you stay grateful and happy. You don’t have to do them all and you don’t have to do them every day. But working one of them into your schedule on a regular basis can go a long way toward keeping you smiling. ## 1) Count Your Blessings This technique has been proven [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/08/was-grandmom-right-about-counting-your-blessi/) and [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/what-are-quick-little-things-you-can-do-to-in/) and [again](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/does-any-of-this-make-yourself-happier-stuff/). Here it is, explained by its originator, University of Pennsylvania professor [Martin Seligman](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0043RSK9O/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0043RSK9O&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=NTNTDPMNT52FZW5P). Via [Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439190763/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439190763): --- > “” --- That’s it. Just put a pen and paper by the bed, write down three good things that happened to you that day and why they happened. Then go to bed. Does it really work? Yeah. Via [Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118131290/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1118131290&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=26TXEXQWUX6DXBHM): --- > “” --- Do you need to do it every day? Nope. People saw optimal results when they did it once a week. (For the secret to never being frustrated again, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/04/frustrated/).) So you thought about the good things that happened to you. Know what else can help? Thinking about if good things _didn’t_ happen to you… ## 2) Absence Of A Blessing It must feel great to win a gold medal in the Olympics. But surprisingly, [research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/06/are-olympic-bronze-medalists-happier-than-sil/) shows it feels better to win a bronze than a silver. Why? People who win the silver think about how they didn’t win the gold. _Those who get the bronze feel grateful to have received a medal at all._ [Research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/02/how-to-make-yourself-happier-in-just-a-few-se/) shows that when you imagine that an important positive event in your life (like meeting your spouse) never happened, it makes you appreciate it more, makes you grateful — and happier. Via [Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118131290/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1118131290&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=26TXEXQWUX6DXBHM): --- > “” --- For bonus points you can actually subtract something positive from your life. Not forever, mind you. In my interview with Harvard professor [Mike Norton](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/harvard-michael-norton-happier/), author of [Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451665067/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1451665067&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20), he explained that taking a break from something you love and “making it a treat” can boost appreciation and happiness: --- > “” --- Yes, this scientifically validates that Netflix binges make you less happy than watching shows weekly. Sorry. (For more on the shortcut to bonding with a romantic partner on a deeper level, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/08/is-there-a-shortcut-to-bonding-with-a-romanti/).) What’s the third ritual? This one will surprise you. ## 3) Thinking About The Bad Can Be Very Good The [ancient Stoics](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/ancient-philosophers/) knew this. So did the [Samurai](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/02/samurai/). Think about something awful that happened. How did you grow from it? How did it make you appreciate what you have? Via [Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118131290/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1118131290&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=26TXEXQWUX6DXBHM): --- > “” --- Every year, Tim Kreider celebrates his “stabbiversary.” He remembers the day he got stabbed in the throat — and how lucky he is to still be alive. Via [We Learn Nothing: Essays](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439198713/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439198713&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- (For more on what you can learn from the Samurai about always being your best, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/02/samurai/).) Okay, time to bring out the big guns. This one is the thermonuclear bomb of gratitude and happiness… ## 4) The Gratitude Visit Tons of [research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/boring-relationship/) shows gratitude improves relationships: * Gratitude levels [predict marital satisfaction](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/11/does-gratitude-predict-relationship-satisfact/). * Being grateful [improves friendships](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/04/whats-an-easy-way-to-make-friends-and-strengt/). * Showing gratitude gives your romantic relationship “[a booster shot](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/05/how-to-give-your-relationship-a-booster-shot/).” * How should you deal with a difficult boss? [Show gratitude](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/whats-the-secret-to-dealing-with-an-insecure/). So what’s the _best_ way to show gratitude to people you love — and make yourself very happy? **Write a letter of gratitude to someone who has done something for you. And then read it out loud to them.** This can boost happiness for _three months._ Via [Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118131290/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1118131290&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=26TXEXQWUX6DXBHM): --- > “” --- Bring tissues. You will cry. They will cry. You will both be very happy. And it will be something you will never forget. (For more on how to write your letter and make yourself and someone you love incredibly happy, click [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/whats-the-greatest-way-to-say-thank-you-and-m/).) Okay, let’s round these techniques up — and add in one more little thing that’ll make you happy right now. ## Sum Up Four ways to boost gratitude and happiness: 1. **Write down three good things that happened to you that day before you go to bed.** 2. **Imagine something meaningful to you never happened. Then appreciate how lucky you are to have it.** 3. **Think about something bad that happened to you — and how it made you feel lucky to have gotten past it and how you have grown.** 4. **Do a gratitude visit. Write a letter of gratitude to someone who has done something for you and read it out loud to them in person.** I’m grateful for a lot of things. My supportive parents. My friend [Gautam’s](https://twitter.com/gmukunda) awesome “interesting people” dinners. My buddy [Andy’s](https://twitter.com/andykevinwalker) weekly Friday lunches… And you, dear reader, I am grateful that you take the time to read what I write. **Even if you don’t get around to doing any of the four things above, I encourage you — right now — to send a thank you email or text to someone who has been good to you.** In [my interview](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) with Harvard happiness researcher [Shawn Achor](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003F3PMYI/ref=as%5Fli%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B003F3PMYI&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&linkId=PKMRKOCW55EMHLVL) he said this tiny gesture can make a big difference in your happiness. He’s tested it over and over: --- > “” --- Do it right now, before you forget. Research shows that gratitude isn’t just correlated with happiness — [gratitude causes happiness](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/04/what-are-two-easy-things-you-can-do-to-be-hap/). Simply put: --- > “” --- **Join over 190,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/05/happy-all-the-time)**_._** Related posts: [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) [6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every Day](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/most-productive-people/) [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/"},"headline":"4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time","datePublished":"2015-05-27T04:01:16.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T08:27:54.336Z","description":"Tim Kreider got stabbed in the throat. The knife went in two millimeters from his carotid artery. He describes those two millimeters as the difference...","url":"https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/","keywords":["Psychology"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt01d4a57b6fcf39f5/698851bc55a859a460a8c316/150973619-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt01d4a57b6fcf39f5/698851bc55a859a460a8c316/150973619-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"thank-you-card-flower","caption":"thank-you-card-flower","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3897223/rituals-happy-gratitude/","name":"4 Rituals to Keep You Happy All the Time"}}]}] ```