--- description: The story you tell yourself about your life. When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that... title: Psychotherapists Say This Is the Key to Happiness image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4c6ed8bce42d98a1/6987edd50b72e3fee56e1d48/sb10069000a-001-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=750&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Psychology](/tag/psychology/) ## Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # This Is the Key to Happiness, According to Psychotherapists by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close May 2, 2015 4:01 AM CUT  Man writing in diary in train, close-up Man writing in diary in train, close-upGetty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close May 2, 2015 4:01 AM CUT The story you tell yourself about your life. When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that story and this process is as, if not more, effective than medication. Via [The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0547391404/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0547391404&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0547391404 "undefined"): --- > “” --- What other effects do stories have on your life? ## **Stories bring meaning** Stories can help you [add meaning to your life](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-add-meaning-to-your-life "undefined"). Reflect on the different ways your life could have gone, and the possible “life stories” that could have resulted. Believing that the way things did work out was “meant to be” and appreciating the benefits of that journey can both add a deeper feeling of meaning to your life. This same reasoning is why some people [believe in fate](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/why-do-people-believe-in-fate "undefined"). Feeling that things were “meant to be” and that there is meaning in tragedy allows people to cope Watching tragic movies and plays is enjoyable because [it makes us feel gratitude that our lives, by comparison, are not that bad.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/hamlet-macbeth-othello-why-would-anyone-enjoy "undefined") ## **Stories give meaning to groups too** Any group must have a story as well. This is what creates [team morale](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-do-you-improve-team-morale "undefined"). Groups that take a second to think about a world without them, to think of the good they bring not existing, develop a greater commitment and passion for their cause. ## **Stories clarify our future goals** Want to quickly find out what is really important to you? [Imagine your funeral](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-figure-out-what-your-real-long-te "undefined"). What stories do you want others to tell about your life? Now go make those stories true. ## **A bad story can be dangerous** As in the first example where a problematic vision of your life can trigger depression, the wrong stories can have a negative effect on your life. Stories [warp our vision of the world](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-improve-your-ability-to-judge-lif "undefined"). Fundamentally, our brains [may not be able to tell the difference between the real and the story](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-tv-affect-your-view-of-the-world "undefined"). This can be good — it can [increase empathy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-tv-increase-empathy "undefined") and [make us kinder to others](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-reading-fiction-make-us-nicer "undefined"). Or it can be [bad](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-stories-rule-our-lives-would-that-be-good "undefined"): --- > “” --- We become like [the fictional characters we watch](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-we-become-more-like-the-fictional-characte "undefined"). We must be careful what stories we take in and believe. ## **Stories can help us change ourselves** Timothy Wilson, author of [Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316051888/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0316051888 "undefined"), has talked about how personally story-editing our lives can lead us to not only feel better, but also [reinvent ourselves](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-stories-the-secret-to-changing-our-lives "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## **You must have a story** So you must have a story that you tell yourself about your life and it must be a good one. To assemble one or fix the one you have: * Reflect and [consider the different ways your life could have gone](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-add-meaning-to-your-life "undefined"). Feeling this was “meant to be” can increase meaning. * [Try applying this to groups](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-do-you-improve-team-morale "undefined") you are in as well. * [Imagine your funeral](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-figure-out-what-your-real-long-te "undefined") to clarify goals and the story that lies ahead. * Monitor [what fiction you take in](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-stories-rule-our-lives-would-that-be-good "undefined") and how it affects your personal story. * Explore [story-editing](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-stories-the-secret-to-changing-our-lives "undefined") if your vision of life doesn’t seem to fit. **Join over 180,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined")**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/are-the-stories-you-tell-yourself-the-key-to/ "undefined")**_._** Related posts: [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/ "undefined") [The 8 Things The Happiest People Do Every Day](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/happiest-people/ "undefined") [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/ "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/"},"headline":"This Is the Key to Happiness, According to Psychotherapists","datePublished":"2015-05-02T04:01:43.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T08:23:43.317Z","description":"The story you tell yourself about your life. 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