--- title: Psychotherapists Say This Is the Key to Happiness description: The story you tell yourself about your life. When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that... canonical: https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-05-02T04:01:43.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-31T08:23:43.317Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Psychotherapists Say This Is the Key to Happiness og:description: You must have a story og:url: https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4c6ed8bce42d98a1/6987edd50b72e3fee56e1d48/sb10069000a-001-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=338&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 338 og:image:height: 190 og:image:alt: man-writing-diary og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Psychotherapists Say This Is the Key to Happiness twitter:description: You must have a story twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4c6ed8bce42d98a1/6987edd50b72e3fee56e1d48/sb10069000a-001-copy.jpg?branch=production&width=338&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # This Is the Key to Happiness, According to Psychotherapists > Sponsored content. 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Brief (Washington politics, three times a week), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 2, 2015 4:01 AM UTC  Man writing in diary in train, close-up Man writing in diary in train, close-up Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker May 2, 2015 4:01 AM UTC The story you tell yourself about your life. When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that story and this process is as, if not more, effective than medication. Via [The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0547391404/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0547391404&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0547391404): --- > “” --- What other effects do stories have on your life? ## **Stories bring meaning** Stories can help you [add meaning to your life](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-add-meaning-to-your-life). Reflect on the different ways your life could have gone, and the possible “life stories” that could have resulted. Believing that the way things did work out was “meant to be” and appreciating the benefits of that journey can both add a deeper feeling of meaning to your life. This same reasoning is why some people [believe in fate](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/why-do-people-believe-in-fate). Feeling that things were “meant to be” and that there is meaning in tragedy allows people to cope Watching tragic movies and plays is enjoyable because [it makes us feel gratitude that our lives, by comparison, are not that bad.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/hamlet-macbeth-othello-why-would-anyone-enjoy) ## **Stories give meaning to groups too** Any group must have a story as well. This is what creates [team morale](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-do-you-improve-team-morale). Groups that take a second to think about a world without them, to think of the good they bring not existing, develop a greater commitment and passion for their cause. ## **Stories clarify our future goals** Want to quickly find out what is really important to you? [Imagine your funeral](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-figure-out-what-your-real-long-te). What stories do you want others to tell about your life? Now go make those stories true. ## **A bad story can be dangerous** As in the first example where a problematic vision of your life can trigger depression, the wrong stories can have a negative effect on your life. Stories [warp our vision of the world](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-improve-your-ability-to-judge-lif). Fundamentally, our brains [may not be able to tell the difference between the real and the story](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-tv-affect-your-view-of-the-world). This can be good — it can [increase empathy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-tv-increase-empathy) and [make us kinder to others](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-reading-fiction-make-us-nicer). Or it can be [bad](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-stories-rule-our-lives-would-that-be-good): --- > “” --- We become like [the fictional characters we watch](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-we-become-more-like-the-fictional-characte). We must be careful what stories we take in and believe. ## **Stories can help us change ourselves** Timothy Wilson, author of [Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316051888/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0316051888), has talked about how personally story-editing our lives can lead us to not only feel better, but also [reinvent ourselves](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-stories-the-secret-to-changing-our-lives): --- > “” --- ## **You must have a story** So you must have a story that you tell yourself about your life and it must be a good one. To assemble one or fix the one you have: * Reflect and [consider the different ways your life could have gone](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-add-meaning-to-your-life). Feeling this was “meant to be” can increase meaning. * [Try applying this to groups](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-do-you-improve-team-morale) you are in as well. * [Imagine your funeral](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-figure-out-what-your-real-long-te) to clarify goals and the story that lies ahead. * Monitor [what fiction you take in](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-stories-rule-our-lives-would-that-be-good) and how it affects your personal story. * Explore [story-editing](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-stories-the-secret-to-changing-our-lives) if your vision of life doesn’t seem to fit. **Join over 180,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.** **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/are-the-stories-you-tell-yourself-the-key-to/)**_._** Related posts: [New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/) [The 8 Things The Happiest People Do Every Day](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/06/happiest-people/) [How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/how-to-stop-being-lazy/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3842551/psychotherapists-key-happiness/"},"headline":"This Is the Key to Happiness, According to Psychotherapists","datePublished":"2015-05-02T04:01:43.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T08:23:43.317Z","description":"The story you tell yourself about your life. 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