--- title: What the Flap Over a Ted Cruz Dinner Means description: Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and two gay businessmen set aside their differences for a fundraiser, but their friends did not. canonical: https://time.com/3836527/ted-cruz-gay-fundraiser/ author: Alex Altman article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-04-27T17:48:26.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-05-11T05:04:22.352Z article:section: Politics og:title: What the Flap Over a Ted Cruz Fundraiser Means og:description: In American politics, what keeps us apart matters more than what brings us together og:url: https://time.com/3836527/ted-cruz-gay-fundraiser/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltd351b0987dda3528/6987eac65f570ff78bb191af/ted-cruz1.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, speaks during a town hall event at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa on April 1, 2015. og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What the Flap Over a Ted Cruz Fundraiser Means twitter:description: In American politics, what keeps us apart matters more than what brings us together twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltd351b0987dda3528/6987eac65f570ff78bb191af/ted-cruz1.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # What the Flap Over a Ted Cruz Dinner Means  by [Alex Altman](https://time.com/author/alex-altman/)  ## Alex Altman Altman is the executive features editor and deputy Washington bureau chief at TIME. Apr 27, 2015 5:48 PM UTC  Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, speaks during a town hall event at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa on April 1, 2015. Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, speaks during a town hall event at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa on April 1, 2015.Nati Harnik—AP  by [Alex Altman](https://time.com/author/alex-altman/)  ## Alex Altman Altman is the executive features editor and deputy Washington bureau chief at TIME. Apr 27, 2015 5:48 PM UTC **Correction appended: April 29, 2015** This is a short parable about the polarized state of American politics. A Republican candidate holds a dinner one Monday evening at the home of two gay businessmen. It is an unusual pairing: the businessmen are prominent gay-rights activists, while the politician is a prominent opponent of same-sex marriage. But they have similar views on Israel and decide that’s enough to set aside those differences. By Thursday, the politician, under pressure from supporters, releases a defensive statement. His spokesman says the venue was an error. By Sunday both businessmen, facing boycotts and vitriol from their allies, post apologies on Facebook, calling the event “a terrible mistake.” The politician is Ted Cruz, the Texas Senator seeking the Republican presidential nomination in 2016\. The businessmen are Mati Weiderpass and Ian Reisner, New York hoteliers who own properties in Manhattan and off Long Island that are geared toward gay guests. The swift backlash from their shared dinner says as much as any tale about our factionalized politics, in which anyone who appears to stray from tribal alliances faces the prospect of excommunication. In some ways, the most surprising aspect of the summit was that either party was surprised by the blowback. Both sides cast a classic political transaction — the exchange of money for proximity to power — as a function of mutual support for Israel. “It was all things Israel,” Cruz spokesman Rick Tyler [told](http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/article/2563540) the Washington _Examiner_. “They were in a discussion about something they all agreed about.” But Cruz’s path to the presidency runs through Iowa, where evangelical activists who oppose gay marriage dominate the state’s first-in-the-nation caucuses. An ardent social conservative, Cruz is seeking a constitutional amendment that would protect the right of states to define marriage as an institution between one man and one woman. A New York _Times_ [report](http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/24/us/politics/at-new-york-reception-ted-cruz-is-said-to-strike-different-tone-toward-gays.html) that Cruz took a conciliatory tone on marriage during the dinner appeared to jeopardize his outreach to social conservatives. It didn’t help that the dinner was held in a swank duplex abutting Central Park, where a 23-year-old gay man was found dead in a bathtub in an apparent drug overdose last fall, [according to police sources](http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/death-investigation-central-park-south-article-1.1992126). Cruz released a statement to reporters decrying the flap as a media witch hunt. “When asked, I stated directly and unambiguously what everyone in the room already knew, that I oppose gay marriage and I support traditional marriage,” he said. “One person further asked how \[Cruz’s wife\] Heidi and I would react if we found out one of our (4- and 7-year-old) daughters were gay. My reply: ‘We would love her with all our hearts. We love our daughters unconditionally.’ “A conservative Republican who is willing to meet with individuals who do not agree on marriage and who loves his daughters unconditionally may not reflect the caricature of conservatives promoted by the left, but it’s hardly newsworthy,” he added. If Cruz opted for damage control through defiance, Reisner and Weiderpass were more chastened. Gay rights activists, who argue opposition to same-sex marriage is intolerance, were furious with the hoteliers’ decision to host Cruz. Over several days last week, the two were hit with the threat of business boycotts, canceled events and a protest rally. On Sunday, they took to Facebook to issue separate apologies. “I am shaken to my bones by the e-mails, texts, postings and phone calls of the past few days,” Reisner wrote. “I was ignorant, naive and much too quick in accepting a request to co-host a dinner with Cruz at my home without taking the time to completely understand all of his positions on gay rights.” “I share in Ian’s remorse. I, too, lay humbled with what has happened in the last week,” Weiderpass wrote in a separate post. “I made a terrible mistake. Unfortunately, I cannot undo this. You taught me a painful but important lesson.” The post doesn’t specify what lesson he learned. But the larger moral of the parable seems clear: in American politics today, what keeps us apart matters more than what brings us together. _Correction: The original version of this story mischaracterized the event attended by Ted Cruz on April 20 in New York City. It was a dinner._ ### See the 2016 Candidates Looking Very Presidential  Sen. Ted Cruz is surrounded by stars and stripes at the 2014 Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C. on September 26, 2014. Mark Peterson—Redux  Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton gazes pensively into the distance at Iowa Senator Tom Harken'a annual Steak Fry in Indianola, Iowa on September 14, 2014. Brooks Kraft—Corbis for TIME  Jeb Bush Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush flashes a power watch before giving his keynote address at the National Summit on Education Reform in Washington on Nov. 20, 2014. Susan Walsh—AP  Bernie Sanders waves to supporters after officially announcing his candidacy for the U.S. presidency during an event at Waterfront Park in Burlington, Vermont, on May 26, 2015. Win McNamee—Getty Images  Chris Christie New Jersey Governor Chris Christie strikes a presidential power stance at the ceremony for the opening of the 206 bypass in Hillsborough, New Jersey on October 28, 2013. Mark Peterson—Redux  Former Hewlett-Packard Co Chief Executive Officer Carly Fiorina listens to her introduction from the side of the stage at the Freedom Summit in Des Moines, Iowa on Jan. 24, 2015. Jim Young—Reuters  Rand Paul Sen. Rand Paul works a crowd during a campaign stop on October 24, 2014 in McDonough, Georgia. Jessica McGowan—Getty Images  Rick Perry Texas Gov. Rick Perry looks powerfully patriotic during the National Anthem before an NCAA college football game on Nov. 27, 2014, in College Station, Texas. David J. Phillip—AP  Bobby Jindal Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal looks to the future during The Family Leadership Summit on Aug. 9, 2014, in Ames, Iowa. Charlie Neibergall—AP  Martin O'Malley Maryland Governor Martin OíMalley ponders decorating ideas in front of his possible future home on CBS's Face the Nation on Feb. 23, 2014. Chris Usher—AP  Marco Rubio Sen. Marco Rubio looks determined the morning after the State of the Union address in Washington, D.C. on January 29, 2014. Melissa Golden—Redux  Ben CarsonBen Carson at the Conservative Political Action Committee annual conference on March 8, 2014. Susan Walsh—AP  Jim Webb Retiring Sen. Jim Webb imitates the presidential wave during a rally in Virginia Beach, Va. on Sept. 27, 2012. Steve Helber—AP  John Kasich Ohio Gov. John Kasich practices his presidential victory pose at the Ohio Republican Party celebration on Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2014, in Columbus, Ohio. Tony Dejak—AP  Rick Santorum Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum looks resolute at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference on March 7, 2014. Brooks Kraft—Corbis  Scott Walker Wisconsin Republican Gov. Scott Walker practices the presidential point on March 3, 2014 in Milwaukee. Jeffrey Phelps—AP  Mike Huckabee Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fine-tunes his presidential oratory at the Conservative Political Action Committee annual conference in National Harbor, Md. on March 7, 2014. Susan Walsh—AP  Lincoln Chafee, Former Rhode Island Governor, poses for a selfie with a student after announcing he will seek the Democratic nomination for president in Arlington, Va. on June 3, 2015. Jonathan Ernst—Reuters  Lindsey Graham Lindsey Graham announced his plans to join the 2016 presidential race. Alex Wong—Getty Images  George Pataki Former New York governor George Pataki listens to a question at the First in the Nation Republican Leadership Conference in Nashua, New Hampshire, in this April 17, 2015 file photo. 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