--- description: All proceeds go to the Children's Defense Fund title: You Can Now Buy Nick Offerman's Wooden Emojis image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- * [Newsfeed](/tag/time-section-newsfeed/) ## Newsfeed Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # You Can Now Buy Nick Offerman's Wooden Emojis by [Melissa Locker](/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Dec 10, 2014 3:42 PM CUT by [Melissa Locker](/author/melissa-locker/) ## Melissa Locker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Dec 10, 2014 3:42 PM CUT A few weeks ago, Nick Offerman stopped by Conan’s late night talk show to [sell his hand-crafted wooden emojis](http://teamcoco.com/video/nick-offerman-wood-emojis "undefined"), for when you care enough to text in high-quality oak. As Offerman said, it’s a “more old-fashioned, more personal, more American mode of communication.” While the commercial started out as a joke, Conan knew a good thing when he saw it and teamed up with [Tilt.com](https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/more-nick-offermans-wood-emojis/description "undefined") to produce a limited run of the high quality, yet highly impractical, emojis and sell them with all proceeds going to a great cause — the Children’s Defense Fund. The first batch sold out quickly, but in the great capitalist tradition, Conan is producing [a second batch](https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/more-nick-offermans-wood-emojis/description "undefined") of the world’s heaviest emojis for charity. For $100 you can send someone you love an extremely heavy Smiley Face, Heart Eyes, The Wink, The Cat or the always popular Pile of Poo. For $300 you can send your loved one a pine-based emoji sentence sure to warm the cockles of their heart (or their fireplace, if they choose to use them as kindling). If hand-crafted whimsy isn’t enough to entice you to open your wallet, purchasers will also receive Andy Richter’s official “Certificate of Reluctant Philanthropy,” sure to impress both your parents and potential dates. Head to [Tilt](https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/more-nick-offermans-wood-emojis/description "undefined") now to wrap up that Christmas shopping with wooden emojis for all. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3627738/conan-nick-offerman-wooden-emojis/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3627738/conan-nick-offerman-wooden-emojis/"},"headline":"You Can Now Buy Nick Offerman's Wooden Emojis","datePublished":"2014-12-10T15:42:00.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T07:15:10.439Z","description":"All proceeds go to the Children's Defense Fund","url":"https://time.com/3627738/conan-nick-offerman-wooden-emojis/","keywords":["Newsfeed","Television","viral","Pop Culture","Charity","Conan O'brien","emojis","conan","nick offerman"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Melissa Locker","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/melissa-locker/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3627738/conan-nick-offerman-wooden-emojis/","name":"You Can Now Buy Nick Offerman's Wooden Emojis"}}]}] ```