By Samantha Grossman
November 17, 2014

If your kids have two ears and a heart, chances are, they’re Taylor Swift fans — and chances are, they really want to go see her in concert when she embarks on her 1989 world tour next year. You want your kids to be happy, but you also really don’t want to brave the masses of weeping tweens in red lipstick. Conundrum.

Luckily, some woman on Craigslist is here to help. She’s a 25-year-old Tay-Tay superfan and, according to her ad, she will buy your ticket from you and accompany your kid(s) to the show. She posts a list of eight reasons why you should let her do this. Those reasons include:

  • I know all the words to all her songs and can sing along with your kids, unlike you.
  • Your kids won’t have to be embarrassed of you! This is really what’s most important to your kids. They don’t have to be with someone standing there bored with ear plugs in because I will be loud and singing along with them and forcing them to have the best time ever. (JK there will be no force, we will be fast friends and they will have a GREAT time all because Taylor will be there!)
  • I have a famous dog that would love to be their newest Instagram follower.
  • Willing to be a part of a synchronized dance to Shake it Off.
  • Also completely okay with them standing there and ignoring me and pretending we aren’t together at all, and then escorting them to your car so that you can take them home.

Oh, she adds that she will provide a criminal background check and whatever other proof you need to feel fine about this arrangement. She’s only offering her services in Philadelphia, but we have a feeling she could be convinced to travel. You know, for Taylor.

Update: We had a Twitter chat with the woman who placed this ad. The famous dog she mentions is a really special pug named Oliver. Also, she confirmed that while nobody has responded to the ad, she was not joking around:

(h/t Uproxx)

Contact us at editors@time.com.

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