--- title: The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me description: What I’m simply proposing is a little more recognition canonical: https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/ author: TIME article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-10-22T20:41:03.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-05-11T05:07:19.125Z article:section: Ideas og:title: The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me og:description: What I’m simply proposing is a little more recognition og:url: https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc8d10828ef0323a8/698762522dce0110fc9db1ad/catholic-church.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 3988 og:image:height: 2243 og:image:alt: Pope Francis waves at the end of his weekly general audience on Saint-Peter's square at the Vatican on October 22, 2014. og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me twitter:description: What I’m simply proposing is a little more recognition twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc8d10828ef0323a8/698762522dce0110fc9db1ad/catholic-church.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me > Sponsored content. 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Brief (Washington politics, three times a week), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. by [Patheos](https://time.com/author/patheos/) ## Patheos Contributor Oct 22, 2014 8:41 PM UTC  Pope Francis waves at the end of his weekly general audience on Saint-Peter's square at the Vatican on October 22, 2014. Pope Francis waves at the end of his weekly general audience on Saint-Peter's square at the Vatican on October 22, 2014. FILIPPO MONTEFORTE—AFP/Getty Images by [Patheos](https://time.com/author/patheos/) ## Patheos Contributor Oct 22, 2014 8:41 PM UTC  _This_ [_article_](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat/2014/10/overlooked-and-dismissed-during-the-synod-how-single-parents-continue-to-be-regarded-in-the-church.html) _originally appeared on_ [_Patheos_](http://www.patheos.com/)_._ Well, the Extraordinary Synod for the Family, has ended, and not surprisingly single parents have gotten the same sort of polite inattention from the Catholic bishops that we are used to getting in the pews. --- > “” --- That vague-sounding one line was all the consideration single parents saw in the final relatio. Thank you for that, now we can go back to subsisting on the crumbs from the masters table, while the “divorced-and-remarried” and the “gifted gay Catholics” enjoy all kinds of concerned hand-writing from the hierarchy and, for that matter, from the secular press. That one single line of attention given to such a large, hugely ignored faction of the Church is almost patronizing, like “oh, yeah, those people also; we are mentioning them here, so that base is covered.” It’s so unbelievably isolating being a single parent in the Church. Where exactly do we fit in? We are not singles eligible for a religious life, we aren’t available to meet during the day for mommies groups, and we’re too divorced for married ministries. However, the lack of outreach programs available to us isn’t what is the most upsetting — it’s the overall dismissive attitude to our situation. Personally, I feel all these specialty groups, catered to specific demographics within the Church, do more to divide and isolate us than they do to build camaraderie. It’s the complete anti-thesis of the word “universal”, which is what _Catholic_ means. When you start dividing the body of the Church up based on age or marital status you run the risk of creating little cliques. These cliques prevent us from socializing and getting to know other members of our own parishes. I’ve been at my parish three years, same seat every week, and I’ve been greeted by only one other family. We’ve become a church of strangers. I don’t think another special interest group for single parents is the answer. It’s nice to commiserate, but I can’t think of anything more depressing than a group of single people sitting around talking about how single they are. What I’m simply proposing is a little more recognition — a blurb in the bulletin, a priestly mention in the prayer intentions during mass, a homily or two about saints who were raised by single parents or were single parents themselves, and lastly, when speaking of families in general, recognize that single parents and their children are indeed still very much families. Single parents work all day, and spend all evening taking care of our children, so we don’t have the time or resources to rally on our own behalf; in fact, we shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t be protesting and writing articles on the internet about how we’ve gotten overlooked yet again. The Church should be aware of our existence at this point, recognize our growing numbers, and be there to offer the support we desperately need. At the very least acknowledge, that we exist. Honestly, it’s just about being seen. That’s all it’s ever been about. Every single parent has heard the statistics that their children are at a higher risk for lower grades and a life of crime, _what we need to hear is some encouragement._ I’ve met priests raised by single mothers who’ve mentioned that fact almost apologetically. To them I say, share your story with your parishioners. Give us some hope and encouragement. _Katrina Fernandez is a Patheos Catholic writer and single parent who blogs at_ [_The Crescat_](www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat/%20)_._ _Read more from Patheos:_ * [Iranians Pour into Streets to Protest Acid Attacks on Women](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/marginoferr/2014/10/22/iranians-pour-into-streets-to-protest-against-acid-attacks-against-women/) * [I Got 18 Mosque Problems, and Being a Woman Is One](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mmw/2014/10/i-got-18-mosque-problems-and-being-a-woman-is-one/) * [Halloween Is High-Profile Time for Some Pagans, But I Prefer to Let the Dead Stay Dead](http://www.patheos.com/blogs/agora/2014/10/alone-in-her-presence-halloween-inviting-the-secular/) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/"},"headline":"The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me","datePublished":"2014-10-22T20:41:03.000Z","dateModified":"2026-05-11T05:07:19.125Z","description":"What I’m simply proposing is a little more recognition","url":"https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/","keywords":["faith","Catholic Church"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc8d10828ef0323a8/698762522dce0110fc9db1ad/catholic-church.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Patheos","jobTitle":"Contributor","url":"https://time.com/author/patheos/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc8d10828ef0323a8/698762522dce0110fc9db1ad/catholic-church.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Pope Francis waves at the end of his weekly general audience on Saint-Peter's square at the Vatican on October 22, 2014.","caption":"Pope Francis waves at the end of his weekly general audience on Saint-Peter's square at the Vatican on October 22, 2014.","creditText":"FILIPPO MONTEFORTE—AFP/Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/faith/","name":"faith"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3532349/catholic-church-single-parents/","name":"The Catholic Church Needs to Embrace Single Parents Like Me"}}]}] ```