--- title: 7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship description: Breaking up isn’t just for romantic partners—here’s how to know if it’s time to cut ties canonical: https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/ author: Real Simple article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-10-16T11:30:46.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T08:02:26.746Z og:title: 7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship og:description: Breaking up isn’t just for romantic partners—here’s how to know if it’s time to cut ties og:url: https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blted474207ed5cfbd0/69875fca06f2c1a6d7331407/woman-worried.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2479 og:image:height: 1394 og:image:alt: Young woman in thought og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship twitter:description: Breaking up isn’t just for romantic partners—here’s how to know if it’s time to cut ties twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blted474207ed5cfbd0/69875fca06f2c1a6d7331407/woman-worried.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=c0673d56-bec3-4064-946b-bc662df2b974&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Mannes on the Street: How Do You Split Expenses With Friends? [Watch (HLS stream): Mannes on the Street: How Do You Split Expenses With Friends?](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/FO0yRCRK.m3u8) (1:20)  _Published 2014-06-01. MONEY VIDEO_ by [Real Simple](https://time.com/author/real-simple/) ## Real Simple Oct 16, 2014 11:30 AM UTC  Young woman in thought Young woman in thought Miroslaw Oslizlo—Getty Images by [Real Simple](https://time.com/author/real-simple/) ## Real Simple Oct 16, 2014 11:30 AM UTC Filling your life with supportive friends is seriously good for your health. In fact, one [10-year long Australian study](http://jech.bmj.com/content/59/7/574.abstract?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=friends&andorexactfulltext=and&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&sortspec=date&resourcetype=HWCIT) showed that participants with solid friend groups were 22% more likely to live longer, and [researchers at Harvard](http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard%5FMens%5FHealth%5FWatch/2011/December/social-networks-and-health-communicable-but-not-infectious) concluded that happiness was almost “infectious” amongst friends who lived within a mile of each other. Every now and then, however, a friend grates at your patience, sanity, and overall happiness. While small infractions often pass, or can be resolved by talking it out, sometimes it comes time for a friend “breakup.” It’s something many women dread or delay—but why do we hang onto friends that are clearly no good? “There’s a social stigma over ending friendships,” says Dr. Irene S. Levine, psychologist and author of _Best Friends Forever._ “There are no scripts or rules, so people are at a loss for how to go about it.” If you’re in denial, here are a few warning signs to watch for. Recognize a friend in one of these scenarios? It might be time to have “the talk.” **1\. She needs you for absolutely** **_everything_** **.** While a friend who depends on you doesn’t seem like cause for concern, _too much_ neediness can exhaust you and use up one of your most important resources: time. “Women tend to rely on their friends more heavily for emotional sustenance,” says Levine. “But if someone is constantly depending on you, that’s when it’s toxic.” That neediness can range from acting as her consultant on decisions both big and small, to, in more extreme cases, becoming her main source for financial assistance. We all lean on our friends for support, but if you’re persistently serving as her crutch, beware. ([MORE: 5 Inspirational Friendships](http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspiration-motivation/friendships?xid=time-rs-100314)) **2\. You dread seeing her, and you’re relieved when she leaves.** Keep in mind: “Friendships are voluntary relationships,” says [psychologist and self-help author Dr. Laura Sapadin](http://www.psychwisdom.com/). “Nobody makes you be a friend.” So if you’re purposefully ignoring her calls or trying to come up with excuses to get out of your lunch date, it might time to break up. **3\. You’re both in constant conflict (and not just the obvious kind).** It’s not just about arguing all the time—although if you two have started to make the _Real Housewives_seem tame, that’s definitely cause for concern. Conflict can manifest in other places—like your schedules. If your friend doesn’t make time for you the way you carve out time for her, then she might not value your friendship. ([MORE: 5 Ways to Win People Over](http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspiration-motivation/win-people-over?xid=rs-time-090914)) **4\. You suffer from “friendship whiplash.”** Some toxic friendships jump back and forth between great and awful—that inconsistency can be a red flag. “The unpredictability takes a toll on you,” says Levine. “It can make you anxious, nervous, or depressed when you don’t know what to expect from a friend whom you’re supposed to rely on.” **5\. You’re experiencing “symptoms.”** Friendships can boost your mental and physical health, but bad friendships can do the opposite. According to Levine, if you begin to suffer headaches or stomach cramps after getting together or in anticipation of seeing your friend, the relationship is doing more harm than good. ([MORE: How to Make Positive Changes in Your Life](http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/change-things-better-10000001084082/index.html?xid=time-rs-100314)) **6\. She can’t see her own flaws.** Sapadin calls this “enaction”: You finally confront your friend for being accusatory and demeaning, and she fires back with, “You’re too sensitive!” A good friend should seem open-minded and willing to acknowledge problems. “If the response shows they don’t get it, then you know this relationship is not one you want to continue,” Sapadin says. ([MORE: How to Look Good in Pictures](http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/how-look-good-photos-00100000107143/index.html?xid=time-rs-100314)) **7\. She betrays your trust.** “Women get very invested in their friends because they share so much of their lives with them,” says Levine. So, when your friend betrays that bond, don’t ignore a gut feeling that tells you it’s a big deal. Trust isn’t trivial—and any betrayal is a sign to reevaluate the relationship. Sapadin agrees: “This can abruptly end a friendship, and it only has to happen once.” ([MORE: 6 Office Wardrobe Malfunctions to Avoid](http://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing/work-wardrobe-malfunctions-00100000130090/index.html?xid=time-rs-100314)) _This_ [_article_](http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/relationships/toxic-friendship-signs) _originally appeared on_ [_RealSimple.com_](http://www.realsimple.com)_._ _Read next:_ [_5 Types of Friends You Need to Avoid_](http://time.com/3761853/toxic-friends-friendship/?iid=time%5Freadnext) [_Listen to the most important stories of the day._](http://time.com/newsletter/the-brief/autoplay/?xid=spl-fullbrief-article) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/"},"headline":"7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship","datePublished":"2014-10-16T11:30:46.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T08:02:26.746Z","description":"Breaking up isn’t just for romantic partners—here’s how to know if it’s time to cut ties","url":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/","keywords":["Living","Friendship","advice"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blted474207ed5cfbd0/69875fca06f2c1a6d7331407/woman-worried.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Real Simple","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/real-simple/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blted474207ed5cfbd0/69875fca06f2c1a6d7331407/woman-worried.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Young woman in thought","caption":"Young woman in thought","creditText":"Miroslaw Oslizlo—Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-living/","name":"Living"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/","name":"7 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Mannes on the Street: How Do You Split Expenses With Friends?","description":"MONEY VIDEO","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/FO0yRCRK/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2014-06-01T04:26:01.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/FO0yRCRK.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/","duration":"PT1M20S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/3486698/toxic-friendship-advice/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```