--- description: But is there any real science behind it, or is it just advice that “sounds good”? title: Is There Any Truth to Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”? image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt95175118d0182dca/6986a73c13c79f406419441e/open-book.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Psychology](/tag/psychology/) ## Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # Is There Any Truth to Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”? by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Oct 10, 2014 4:01 AM CUT  Open book Open bookGetty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Oct 10, 2014 4:01 AM CUT Dale Carnegie’s [How to Win Friends and Influence People](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439167346/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439167346 "undefined") is the classic on getting along well with others. But is there any real science behind it, or is it just advice that “sounds good”? In the past I’ve broken down [old sayings](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/which-old-sayings-are-true-and-which-are-fals/ "undefined") and [career advice](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/what-6-steps-should-be-guiding-your-career/ "undefined"), let’s see if Carnegie holds up to scrutiny. Carnegie listed six ways to make people like you. Via [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How%5Fto%5FWin%5FFriends%5Fand%5FInfluence%5FPeople "undefined"): 1. **Become genuinely interested in other people.** 2. **Smile.** 3. **Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.** 4. **Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.** 5. **Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.** 6. **Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.** ## **1) “Become genuinely interested in other people.”** Actively showing interest in other people is powerful. Merely [listening to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-to-easily-be-more-likable-and-make-people "undefined") makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests. When people speak, the best responses are both [_active and constructive_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-respond-to-someone-in "undefined"). What’s that mean? --- > “” --- Via [Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439190763/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"):  ## **2) “Smile.”** Smiling does [make you more attractive](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/11/whats-the-easiest-way-to-make-yourself-more-a/ "undefined"). And by smiling we influence others to smile. People judge things more positively while smiling, so our own smile can set off a chain reaction causing more positive encounters. Via [Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1416596186/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1416596186 "undefined"): --- > “” --- So there’s truth to “when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.” How can you improve your smile? Smile [slower](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/is-there-an-easy-way-to-improve-your-smile "undefined"). ## **3) “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”** Your name can [affect your life dramatically](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/03/does-your-name-affect-everything-in-your-life/ "undefined"). You are influenced by names[similar to your own](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/07/are-you-influenced-by-names-similar-to-yours/ "undefined"). In fact, people with the same last name are much more likely to marry each other. Via [Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307378217/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307378217 "undefined"): …**Smiths marry other Smiths three to five times as often as they marry Johnsons, Williamses, Joneses, or Browns. In fact, Smiths marry other Smiths about as often as they marry people with all those other names, combined.**  And, yes, research shows people are more likely to comply with your requests if you [remember their name](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/12/another-simple-trick-for-persuading-people/ "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## **4) “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.”** Talking about yourself [provides as much pleasure as food or money](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-gives-your-brain-as-much-pleasure-as-foo/ "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## **5) “Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.”** Obviously, we’re all interested in talking about what interests us — and this engagement promotes liking. When women were more engaged in a conversation on a first date, they were much more likely to report being attracted to the guy. Via [Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains–The Science Behind Sex, Love, & Attraction](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385342160/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0385342160 "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## **6) “Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.”** It’s no surprise that people like to feel important and powerful. Feeling like we’re in control reduces stress: Via [Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061771295/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0061771295&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Money [doesn’t increase happiness much](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/at-what-annual-salary-does-money-stop-making "undefined"), but [feeling powerful does](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/what-brings-more-happiness-money-or-power/ "undefined"). Most people would rather be the big fish in a small pond making $50,000 a year than the small fish in a big pond earning $100,000. Via [The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060005696/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0060005696&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- So, yes, there is plenty of science backing up the techniques in [How to Win Friends and Influence People](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439167346/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439167346 "undefined"). **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/truth-dale-carnegies-how-win-friends-influence-people/ "undefined")**_._** **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). Related posts: [What are the 6 things that can make you dramatically more persuasive?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/12/6-dramatically-persuasive/ "undefined") [10 ways science explains why James Bond is so irresistible to women](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/10-ways-science-explains-why-james-bond-is-so "undefined") [How can you learn to be more charismatic?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/how-can-you-learn-to-be-more-charismatic "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3476216/truth-dale-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3476216/truth-dale-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/"},"headline":"Is There Any Truth to Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”?","datePublished":"2014-10-10T04:01:21.000Z","dateModified":"2026-05-11T04:49:47.256Z","description":"But is there any real science behind it, or is it just advice that “sounds good”?","url":"https://time.com/3476216/truth-dale-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/","keywords":["Psychology","Influence"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt95175118d0182dca/6986a73c13c79f406419441e/open-book.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt95175118d0182dca/6986a73c13c79f406419441e/open-book.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Open book","caption":"Open book","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3476216/truth-dale-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/","name":"Is There Any Truth to Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”?"}}]}] ```