TIME Holidays

10 Reasons Not to Celebrate International Happiness Day

450770353
Jamie Grill—Getty Images/Tetra images RF You. (Also, me.)

God I'm exhausted

March 20 is the United Nations’ International Happiness Day, though honestly you could’ve fooled me.

Speaking at a meeting on “Happiness and Well-Being: Defining a New Economic Paradigm” during the sixty-sixth session of the General Assembly, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said the world “needs a new economic paradigm that recognizes the parity between the three pillars of sustainable development. Social, economic and environmental well-being are indivisible.”

It’s a beautiful thought. But one that should not distract us from the fact that the world is a horrible place full of meaningless suffering, a place in which we toil away until we take our last pathetic breath and disappear into nothingness. Everyone—and I mean everyone—dies in their own arms, after all.

Anyway! Here are the top reasons to ignore this “holiday” and stay as depressed, despondent, and downcast as the other 364 days of 2014.

10. Syria.

9. The collapse of the Central African Republic.

8. Female circumcision.

7. This.

6. Also, this.

5. Even cathartic, post-apocalyptic movies are getting boring.

4. Afghanistan is still falling to pieces.

3. Crimea.

2. Disappearing airplanes.

1. You read this article.

Tap to read full story

Your browser is out of date. Please update your browser at http://update.microsoft.com


YOU BROKE TIME.COM!

Dear TIME Readers,

As a regular visitor to TIME.com, we are sure you enjoy all the great journalism created by our editors and reporters. Great journalism has great value, and it costs money to make it. One of the main ways we cover our costs is through advertising.

The use of software that blocks ads limits our ability to provide you with the journalism you enjoy. Consider turning your Ad Blocker off so that we can continue to provide the world class journalism you have become accustomed to.

The TIME Team