5 Celebrities Who Want to Tell You How to Live

4 minute read

When Blake Lively launched her lifestyle brand, Preserve, on Monday, she went where many blondes have gone before. Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Alba already have established personal lifestyle websites, and Reese Witherspoon and Ellen DeGeneres have announced plans to launch in the next year. Here are some of the craziest suggestions for how to live like a celebrity:

(MORE: The Problem With Celebrities Who Tell You How to Live Well)

Gwyneth Paltrow

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow attends the premiere of Roadside Attractions' 'Thanks For Sharing' at ArcLight Cinemas on September 16, 2013 in Hollywood, California. (
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow on September 16, 2013 in Hollywood, California.Jason Merritt—Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow is the Neil Armstrong of celebrity lifestyle websites: She made one small step for Goop, one giant leap for celeb-kind. Paltrow barely acts anymore, and instead spends most of her considerable energy turning Goop.com into a how-to guide for a perfect life, complete with recipes, resort recommendations and suggestions for the perfect white button-down shirt.

Don’t miss out on this delicious “Beet-Cured Gravlax” salmon, which apparently “takes a couple of days but is as easy as sprinkling salt onto a piece of fish.” Never be seen with a pathetic top-heavy bouquet again, since here’s your guide to flower arrangements by vase. Here’s a $500 exclusive monogrammable l’americano longboard for your kids to destroy immediately. And here’s how to get divorced, Goop-style.

Confused? We’ve got you covered with our Goop-to-English dictionary.

 

Jessica Alba

Actress Jessica Alba arrives at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 13, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California.
Actress Jessica Alba at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards on January 13, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California.Jason Merritt—Getty Images

Jessica Alba’s “The Honest Company” is the most mommyish of all the celebrity lifestyle blogs, and sells things like diaper rash cream and soothing bottom wash. This description of a 3-pack of Organic Swaddles decorated with hot air balloons says it all:

“Lovingly wrap your little ones in our soft, organic cotton muslin swaddles…we designed this exclusive collection to inspire every little one to look ‘Up in the Air’ and imagine the endless possibilities of adventure and exploration.”

Also, this explanation of a magic potion to keep your kid from getting sick:

“Our Kid’s Immunity Boost is a premium botanical blend featuring Black Elderberry, Arabinogalactan & other natural extracts known to be effective at warding off the seasonal ickies! Our slightly sweet & lightly flavored powder is gentle on tummies & easy to sneak into your kid’s favorite food (yogurt, oatmeal, jelly sandwich, etc.), smoothie, or juice.”

Sounds serene.

Blake Lively

Blake Lively attends "12-12-12" a concert benefiting The Robin Hood Relief Fund to aid the victims of Hurricane Sandy presented by Clear Channel Media Entertainment, The Madison Square Garden Company and The Weinstein Company at Madison Square Garden on December 12, 2012 in New York City.
Blake Lively on December 12, 2012 in New York City.Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty Images

Blake Lively became the newest addition to the celebrity lifestyle pantheon with Preserve, which just launched Monday. In her editor’s note, she calls Preserve a “creative space” that “honors the future, while having a love affair with the past…” The rest of her note reads kind of like spoken-word poetry:

And then:

There’s expensive stuff. Inexpensive stuff. And everything in between. But their value, is up to you. We may romanticize it, calling it treasure. What we’re really saying is, we see worth on every level.

And here’s the Preserve philosophy on “intimacy:”

We feel that in a world so hectic, preserving intimacy is the key to being present. The smoky scent of sandalwood burning on a wick, the “ahh” of a warm bath; the precious exposure of your husband’s cheeks after a clean shave; the warmth of chocolate melting on your palette; the glow of reminiscing with your grandmother; the feeling of building not only a table, but also memories, with your dad—these are the quiet moments that make life most precious.

But what can you buy that will “preserve” the “the ‘ahh’ of a warm bath?” Oh, maybe this $92 oyster platter? Or this $132 paint splattered T-shirt that you’ve been trying to burn for years? Or this old-timey $1,000 traveler’s satchel that’s made especially for those with a “flair for the far-flung?”

For all its preciousness, Preserve does have good intentions. It’s partnered with Covenant House, a nonprofit that supports trafficked and abused youth, and the company has promised to donate 5% of first-year purchases towards providing meals, blankets and warm clothing to at-risk young people.

Ellen DeGeneres

TV personality Ellen DeGeneres arrives at the TCL Chinese Theatre for the premiere of Netflix's "Arrested Development" Season 4 held on April 29, 2013 in Hollywood, California.
TV personality Ellen DeGeneres on April 29, 2013 in Hollywood, California.Jason Merritt—Getty Images

Ellen announced earlier this month she’s starting her own lifestyle brand, which will focus on mid-price home decor items, clothing and pet toys. ““My goal is that people can have a beautiful house, a really comfortable house, without only being able to afford [very expensive] things,” she told Womens Wear Daily. The brand, set to be called E.D., is expected to launch later this year.

Reese Witherspoon

Actress Reese Witherspoon attends the Great American Songbook event honoring Bryan Lourd at Alice Tully Hall on February 10, 2014 in New York City.
Actress Reese Witherspoon at Alice Tully Hall on February 10, 2014 in New York City.Theo Wargo—Getty Images

Reese Witherspoon’s unnamed lifestyle brand is set to launch in 2015, but she’s already hired C. Wonder president Andrea Hyde for her “omnichannel venture.” Witherspoon hasn’t announced much about what her lifestyle brand might include, except to hint that it would be heavily influenced by her Southern roots.

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Write to Charlotte Alter at charlotte.alter@time.com