TIME

RECAP: True Blood Watch: Lost Causes

HBO

Ain't no party like a Bon Temps party

After last week’s successful rescue mission, the dusting of the Hep V vamps and the decimation of the human vigilante squad, it’s unclear what’s left for Sookie and her Scooby Gang to do as True Blood wraps up its final season aside from mourn their losses. In the aftermath of the slaughter at Fangtasia, Eric and Pam want Willa to tell them everything she knows about her ersatz stepmother Sarah Newlin. Unfortunately, though, Willa has too many abandonment issues to do as she’s told. She demands freedom from her maker in exchange for information on Sarah. Eric, contemplative at death’s door, shrugs and releases her. Willa gasps as she is freed and Pam eloquently remarks, “Like being kicked in the cooch by a wallaby, isn’t it?” Willa tells them that Sarah has a secret sister named Amber Mills and she happens to be a vampire and she thinks she lives in Dallas.

As Eric and Pam prepare to leave to Dallas, Ginger demands that Eric consummate their relationship, because she’s been his “sex slave” for 15 years, but never actually had sex with him. He rolls his eyes and leaves her on the curb when he leaves. Poor Ginger. Maybe she can apply for a job at Bellefleur’s?

Sookie returns to her house finally ready to really grieve over Alcide. James and Lafayette, the two new bosom buddies, are there waiting for her. They tuck her in bed and Lafayette promises to be there when she wakes up. When Sookie finally awakens, she finds her house taken over by Lafayette, who has decided to throw a party for the whole town. He announces that they are celebrating life because it’s what Alcide — and Tara — would’ve wanted. Sookie reluctantly relents when Lafayette explains that he has good food, good alcohol and promises to toss out the first person who offers condolences on her loss.

In Dallas, Pam and Eric meet Sarah’s vamp sister, Amber. She’s infected with Hep V and has nothing to hide, quickly telling Eric and Pam everything about Sarah paying her off to keep quiet. Amber asks if they are going to kill Sarah, and Eric confesses it could happen. And with that Amber is part of the gang and suggests that if Sarah is in town they might find her at a Republican fundraiser being held that night.

Lettie Mae wants to go to the funeral party, but the reverend doesn’t think it’s a good idea to go, because he thinks she is only keen on attending in order to get some vampire blood. Lettie Mae drugs him and sneaks out when he passes out.

The party is in full swing with humans, vampires and shapeshifters all in attendance. Bill, a real party animal, spends his time mooning about and flashing back to arguing against the Civil War. Alcide’s dad gives a lovely toast to his son that ends up making Sookie feel bad about the fact that she didn’t love Alcide quite as much as he loved her. As they all drink to Alcide’s memory, Lettie Mae barges into the party. Lafayette tries to shoo her out quickly, Sookie invites her to say a few words and she demurely asks for something nonalcoholic to toast to her daughter’s memory.

Jessica is wallflowering at the party and Sheriff Andy comes to tell her that watching her punish herself only keeps his pain alive. He wants to move on, but can’t without her help. She offers him anything, but all he wants is a ring to use to propose to Holly. Jessica finds him the closest one, which happens to be Sookie’s and Jason’s grandma’s ring. They happily offer it to him, and in the middle of the celebration to life, he proposes. That’s when Arlene notices that Sookie is near tears and sneaks her upstairs to have a good cry. As Sookie unloads on Arlene, Alcide’s dad eavesdrops on their conversation about love and loss and the merits of time and tequila.

James is frustrated that Jessica has been distant lately and won’t leave the party with him. He finds solace in Lafayette’s arms and legs and lips.

Pam and Eric are getting ready for a fundraiser at the Bush Library where they hope to find Sarah Newlin. They spent the day shopping at Neiman Marcus, but while they are getting dressed, Pam looks at the veins delicately spreading all over Eric’s body and realizes that he has moved onto Stage 2 of the disease. As she covers the veins on his neck, he tells her that he’s going to die and she has prepare herself.

At the party, Jessica is looking for James, and Arlene drunkenly tells her she saw him step outside with Lafayette. That turns out to be code for having extremely loud carnal relations in the car she and James bought together. Jessica screams at them and runs inside with James chasing her. She begs Jason to rescind James’ invitation to the house. He does, and James goes flying, while Jessica runs upstairs to cry. With Violet’s approval, Jason goes after her. Lafayette barges in and tells Jessica that he’s embarrassed about how it all came out, but Jessica needs to look deep in herself, and if she doesn’t love James she needs to let him go and let Lafayette pick up the pieces. Then he makes a glorious speech about how he, the one openly gay man in town, deserves happiness too. Can we please have an all-Lafayette TV show or maybe HBO can cast him on Looking?

While Bill is having a flashback to helping lead the Underground Railroad, Sookie interrupts him to thank him for everything, and they share a chaste hug. Bill reminds Sookie that she’s done a lot in the past few days and should revel in the moment, because it’s unlikely this show will go out without a bang (or several bangs of all sorts and maybe an explosion or two).

Back inside the party, Lettie Mae stabs Willa with a butcher knife in the hope of drinking more of her blood to contact Tara. The vamps all round on her, but Sam jumps in to protect her — or at least to prevent bloodshed at the party. Everyone stands down when Willa heals and Lafayette quickly ushers Lettie Mae away before she can stab anyone else. That’s when Nicole flips her lid and starts hollering at everyone about how crazy it is to throw a party after all that death and despair and loudly pointing out that this doesn’t happen in other towns. Shhh, Nicole, someone will notice this show doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Upstairs at Sookie’s, Jessica interrupts her consolation to kiss Jason. They hook up and, of course, Violet comes to investigate what happened to Jason and overhears it, but instead of storming in, she storms away with revenge clearly on her mind.

At the fundraiser, Sarah finds her mother in the ladies’ room. Her mother is hesitant to help her, because a book was published revealing that Sarah helped create Hep V and thus helped create the gangs of marauding infected vamps. Sarah wants to talk to Laura Bush, but since she’s not at the party, her mother will have to do. Sarah explains that the yakuza is after her and, on cue, the yakuza gang shoots its way into the fundraiser killing everyone in sight in pursuit of Sarah. She and her mother run, but not fast enough. Her mother falls and Sarah keeps going, straight into Eric’s clutches. He’s about to kill her, when the yakuza — who aren’t really the yakuza but the Tru Blood Corp.’s gang of hired killers — arrive. He drops her and goes after them. He then rips the man’s face off in a scene that makes up for any gore deficit the show might have been facing after the past 1½ episodes.

Back in Bon Temps, Bill is mulling over his past again. After a flashback to contemplating his death in the midst of the Civil War, he heads inside his house, removes his shirt and contemplates the black vein curling up his chest, finally explaining why he wasn’t in a party mood.

MORE: The Best Theory About Jon Snow’s Mother

MORE: Finally, Homeland Season 4 Trailer Revealed!

Your browser, Internet Explorer 8 or below, is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites.

Learn how to update your browser