--- description: Friendship is a good thing. That’s hardly front-page news — but somehow we all forget how important it is. We take friends for granted. As... title: How To Make Friends Easily And Strengthen The Friendships You Have image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt597451fe8503769c/6986856506f2c11bc332dddc/187474473.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [relationships](/tag/relationships/) ## relationships Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # How To Make Friends Easily And Strengthen The Friendships You Have by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Mar 14, 2014 4:01 AM CUT  Group of People Lying on Studio Floor Group of People Lying on Studio FloorGetty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Mar 14, 2014 4:01 AM CUT [**Friendship**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-friendships/ "undefined") **is a good thing. That’s hardly front-page news — but somehow we all forget how important it is.** We take friends for granted. As we raise families we neglect friends. We don’t put in the effort to make and keep friends. And the problem is growing. **In 1985 most people said they had 3 close friends. In 2004 the most common number was zero.** Via [Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CCPII14/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00CCPII14&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- This is sad, and for more reasons than you might expect. We need friends to [keep us healthy](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/single-important-today-live-long-happy-life/ "undefined"). **Lack of social support predicts all causes of death.** **Having few friends is more dangerous than obesity and is the equivalent health risk of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- You need friends for self-knowledge — because **your friends often know more about you than you do.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- **And friends make you happier than pretty much anything else in life.** Got three friends at work? You’re 96% more likely to be extremely satisfied with your life. Happiness is contagious. **Happy friends boost your chance of happiness by 15%. Unhappy friends decrease it by 7%.** **Each additional friend means two fewer days of feeling lonely every year.** Family members don’t even move the needle here. Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- **Having a friend you see on most days is the happiness equivalent of an extra 100K a year.** Via [Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CCPII14/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00CCPII14&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## Marriage And Kids Aren’t Enough Researchers have been seeing a trend: **increasingly, people expect to get all their social needs met by their spouse or partner.** **This is a prescription for disaster.** It’s too much pressure for a spouse and there’s much that we can only get from friends. [**Nobel Prize winner David Kahneman**](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00555X8OA/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00555X8OA&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") **did research showing time with friends is more enjoyable than time with spouses or children.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Not that there’s anything wrong with spouses and kids but time with friends does not involve the same responsibilities — and we all need a break. Beyond that, **time with friends as a couple has been shown to improve long term relationships.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- ## And You Will Lose Friends Within seven years, half of your close friends will not be around anymore. Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- So if you want to keep close friends in your life, it’ll [take some effort](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/10/what-makes-you-click-with-someone-else/ "undefined"). But what do you need to do? Here’s what some of the latest research has to say. ## What To Do **Most importantly,** [**make the time**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-friendships/ "undefined")**.** What are the most common friendship fights about? Time commitments. Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- **This is also the part of friendship that makes us happiest — doing things together.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Mere proximity — **being nearby, is one of the most powerful drivers of friendship — far more than personality.** So be around. Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- What [else do you need to do](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/11/5-secrets-clicking-people/ "undefined")? **Be patient.** If you’re not willing to be bored sometimes, you can’t have friends. Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- **Be flexible.** Having social skills means adapting to your environment, not stubbornly “being who you are.” Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- And this one is key: **Support the person’s view of themselves and make them feel good about their pursuits.** Via [Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UBQU04/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B009UBQU04&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- My theory on this: be a cheerleader for your friends. [**Be their biggest fan**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/02/great-workplaces-making-friends-networking-dealing-kidnappers-happy-common/ "undefined")**.** This is what we all want from our friends. And the more you give it, the more you will get it yourself. **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). Related posts: [How To Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-make-people-like-you/ "undefined") [Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques For Building Rapport With Anyone](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/rapport-building-skills/ "undefined") [Recipe For A Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/recipe-for-a-happy-marriage-2/ "undefined") _This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/ "undefined")_._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/24122/how-to-make-friends-easily-and-strengthen-the-friendships-you-have/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/24122/how-to-make-friends-easily-and-strengthen-the-friendships-you-have/"},"headline":"How To Make Friends Easily And Strengthen The Friendships You Have","datePublished":"2014-03-14T04:01:54.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:53:50.842Z","description":"Friendship is a good thing. 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