Walter George Bruhl Jr., Marine Corps veteran and longtime DuPont Co. employee, passed away in Florida Sunday at 80 years old, and on Tuesday, the Cape Gazette published a hilarious obituary that he wrote for himself.
The Philadelphia native who lived and worked in Delaware jokes that now his wife can purchase the mink coat he never let her buy because he thought "only minks should wear mink."
- "His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe."
- "He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink."
- "There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors."
- "Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around."
TIME has also rounded-up other famous last words that have gone viral in recent years, from Waffle House's most loyal customer to the man whose final request was that, in lieu of flowers, people write their members of Congress and petition for a repeal of Daylight Savings Time.