If the Academy asks us to sit down for over three and a half hours to watch an awards ceremony, you better believe that we are going to make a list of superlatives that chronicles the good, the bad, and the ugly.
With that in mind: Here is TIME’s real winners and losers of the 2014 Academy Awards:
Most likely to get lice: Everyone in this selfie
Biggest missed opportunity: Lice or not, Liza missed out the most viral tweet of all time
Most beautiful: According to host Ellen DeGeneres, “I’m not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it’s clear: It’s Jared Leto.”
Most appropriate award presenter: Kim Novak for Frozen
Kevin Winter / Getty Images
Most likely to be the butt of a joke: Jonah Hill’s penis, which actually got called out by DeGeneres more times than Jennifer Lawrence’s fall last year.
Dress most likely to cause a seizure: Anne Hathaway. So. Many. Sparkles.
Biggest snub: Leonardo DiCaprio to the pizza guy. Say yes to the carbs, Leo.
Most appreciated off-book moment: Bill Murray’s tribute to Harold Ramis
Best source of current events: Jared Leto’s Oscar acceptance speech
Most likely to get a Dancing with the Stars deal: Pharrell and Meryl
Biggest Twitter fail of the night: NBC News
It was corrected to this:
Best blazer: Nicholas Reed, Oscar winner for documentary The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
Most likely to shatter our Frozen hearts: Idina Menzel.
Most likely to be sold for tens of thousands of dollars on eBay: Lupita Nyong’o’s lip balm
Best mea culpa: And the Oscar goes to … The Academy