TIME Sex

Here’s the Real Reason Women Hate Premature Ejaculation

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Peter Dazeley—Getty Images

Men focus too hard on lasting a long time in bed, often to the detriment of their partner

The wives and girlfriends of men who suffer from premature ejaculation are often frustrated—but it’s not for the reason you may think, according to a new study.

A clinical psychologist at the University of Zurich surveyed more than 1,500 women in Mexico, Italy and South Korea and found that women don’t necessarily want intercourse to last longer. “It is not the short duration of the act of lovemaking that is primarily regarded as the main source of sexual frustration by the majority of women, but the fact that the man is focused too strongly on delaying ejaculation. As a result, he ignores the sexual needs of the woman and is unable to satisfy her individual desires,” the study said.

In thinking about the finish line, it’s easy for men to neglect sexually stimulating acts like kissing and caressing, which the women who were surveyed said are equally important to their satisfaction in the bedroom.

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